Vanity Fair is Slipping

Critiquing the October 2012 issue.

Vanity Fair is slipping. This magazine is supposed to be about current events but increasingly it seems to revisit well-worn stories. There's a lot of stuff about the Kennedys and infamous murders that took place decades ago. October's issue contains a piece on James Bond. We're told that he was, "a literary creation before he became . . . Hollywood's most successful and long-lived franchise." So I've heard. The reason for this article seems to be a four-page special advertising section for a James Bond documentary. That's shady.

In a feature called "Agenda" press releases and ad copy are printed as news items. They are laid out just like the other material in the magazine. Those pages say "Vanity Fair" in prominent letters. Sleazy.

Something needs to be said about the physical experience of trying to read the magazine. I think I might have carpal tunnel from flipping through all the glossy ads trying to find content. Just to make it harder some of the ads are printed on much heavier stock. The perfume samples stink.

Long-time Vanity Fair contributor James Wolcott has just discovered Twitter. His piece, "All That Twitters" recounts a number of well-known twitter events like Ashton Kutcher's misstep in protesting the firing of Penn State coach Joe Paterno. Here's some writing that Wolcott has crafted, "One cohort has an occupational advantage when it comes to receiving latitude for their trespasses: . . . In an environment where any minor faux pas can be flagged and penalized as 'inappropriate,' they retain a precarious jester immunity."

Precarious jester immunity.

He's writing about stand up comics on Twitter. Wolcott believes that Colin Quinn is "perhaps the zither master of the medium." I remember Colin Quinn from a show on Comedy Central where he sucked all the life out of the show by requiring the other comics to explain their acts in between sets. It was one of the stupidest things I've ever seen. Here's Wolcott quoting Colin Quinn's twitters:

"Wishing there was an 'app' for the Monday blah's when I realized that I already have one, my smile." a great guy on the go, a regular Larry Crowne.

"Just looked up what my name means in Latin. It means teller of truth and humor. Warrior and compassionate person. Weird, right? #go figure."

James Wolcott thinks this is brilliant deadpan humor. Who the hell is Larry Crowne?

"Obama's Way" by Michael Lewis is a flattering look at the President. Conspicuously absent are questions about his failure to do anything real about the economy, the mortgage crisis, torture, the rollback of civil liberties, NDAA, extrajudicial executions, and the killing of innocent civilians abroad. It's like interviewing Herbert Hoover and not asking about the Depression. This piece was super access-y. The only way it could have been more so was if the President tucked the writer into the Lincoln bedroom and made him flapjacks in the morning. I'm guessing that this article will insure future access.

This article is the equivalent of a flattering professional photograph. Depicted are the official story of how we got involved in Libya for humanitarian reasons, Obama's sportsmanlike behavior on the basketball court, and the way he reveres Abraham Lincoln. It ends with him contemplating a handwritten copy of the Gettysburg Address in the Lincoln bedroom. This is the same man who extended the Bush tax cuts, kept Guantanamo open and didn't prosecute a single person for the Gulf oil spill. His Justice Department has prosecuted more whistleblowers than George Bush's. These facts do not appear in this carefully framed portrait, timed for the eve of the election.

There's one really outstanding article in this Issue, "What Katie Didn't Know" by Maureen Orth. This story chronicles how Scientology recruits Tom Cruise's girlfriends and controls his world. I bought the magazine for this story. The same critical eye that wasn't used for the leader of the free world was turned on Tom Cruise, and it's pretty astonishing.

I used to subscribe to Vanity Fair but I don't now. I'm guessing that its future holds more "special advertising," sycophantic articles, and used up scandals, interspersed with occasional brilliance.

Excuse me, I have to go wash the perfume off my hands.