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It's surprising about James Gandolfini dying
Posted by
Luminosity
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in
Personal
20 June 2013
·
799 views
He was my exact age. He was talented. He seemed so alive, and had so much to live for. Surprising that he was apparently so much more sensitive and insecure than the character he played. I guess he'd gained weight, been to rehab a few times, and smoked cigars. That's all it took.
Got some stuff done, I think. I hope. Trying to have faith. Not so easy but I'm trying.
Made some French onion soup.
Been some beautiful summer days but I've just been looking at them wistfully from inside.
Got about forty magazines bagged up to donate, along with three books, a tin, and a box of tea picked by monkeys.
Been having female problems. A few days ago my Chi was so low it felt like my organs prolapsed. I was cold and weak for no reason. It didn't help that I had gotten onto my Indonesian prison camp diet again. I couldn't get to the store Rice, tea, vegan breakfasts. This time it was black rice and I guess I had too much of it. I got some more substantial food at the store and now I'm feeling better; eggs, sausage, grilled tomatoes, brown rice waffles for breakfast. Just eating better and more all around and resting. I feel better. Had some baths with sandalwood and cinnamon oil.
Cleaned a stove today. Got to use my pumice stone. It might surprise some people to know that I love cleaning tools and as well as knowing how to clean things without chemicals.
. . . Really? A person where I am just made a comment about race I didn't like. A moment before that, I smelled dirty diapers, and there are no babies here.
Anyway . . . if I can get back on track . . . At the health food store I saw the woman I always see at the other health food store. She is about my age, her life situation is similar to mine in some ways. She's better off. She's been able to take better care of her looks. She wears the clothes I would wear if I had it more together. We both have long thick wavy hair and are about the same height. We're different races; she's Asian. We tried to be friends a while back but when you get that close to her, she acts badly. We ended up on the outs. Nevertheless she seems to have more people around her than I do, although they may be an odd selection. We seem to keep the same schedule. She was getting into the warehouse of the health food store today for some reason. Never seen a customer do that. The warehouse door was right in front of where I happened to park. It's weird that she is everywhere I go.
Drove by the empty news racks for the our alternative paper that went out of business. They've just left them on the sidewalk. There's graffiti on some of them. There's now no credible independent media where I live. At least two of the TV stations use the same newsroom. The daily paper can be evil and it's thinner than it used to be. Just a year or two ago, there were two daily papers. Now there's one. I'm a writer. This is all alarming. Years ago, I got published as a freelance writer fairly regularly, but the quality of the people working as editors went down and it got harder. Then a few years ago, I couldn't get a letter to the editor published. My work is better than before. Now those publishing outlets may not even exist, done in partly by indifference to quality content. When I send email submissions to other magazines, I never get any response, not even a form rejection. I don't think they even read them. Still, when you see your sector going away, it alarms you even though it wasn't really there for you for a long time. As a reader, seeing the disappearing of the printed word disturbs me. We just got word that the large chain bookstore in the mall I frequent will be gone in a year. How long that chain will even last is a question. The other large chain bookstore here closed a few years ago. They had the best selection. If the remaining chain stores close, there won't be any bookstores in the city I live in. Watching the world you knew disappear is alarming.
Got some stuff done, I think. I hope. Trying to have faith. Not so easy but I'm trying.
Made some French onion soup.
Been some beautiful summer days but I've just been looking at them wistfully from inside.
Got about forty magazines bagged up to donate, along with three books, a tin, and a box of tea picked by monkeys.
Been having female problems. A few days ago my Chi was so low it felt like my organs prolapsed. I was cold and weak for no reason. It didn't help that I had gotten onto my Indonesian prison camp diet again. I couldn't get to the store Rice, tea, vegan breakfasts. This time it was black rice and I guess I had too much of it. I got some more substantial food at the store and now I'm feeling better; eggs, sausage, grilled tomatoes, brown rice waffles for breakfast. Just eating better and more all around and resting. I feel better. Had some baths with sandalwood and cinnamon oil.
Cleaned a stove today. Got to use my pumice stone. It might surprise some people to know that I love cleaning tools and as well as knowing how to clean things without chemicals.
. . . Really? A person where I am just made a comment about race I didn't like. A moment before that, I smelled dirty diapers, and there are no babies here.
Anyway . . . if I can get back on track . . . At the health food store I saw the woman I always see at the other health food store. She is about my age, her life situation is similar to mine in some ways. She's better off. She's been able to take better care of her looks. She wears the clothes I would wear if I had it more together. We both have long thick wavy hair and are about the same height. We're different races; she's Asian. We tried to be friends a while back but when you get that close to her, she acts badly. We ended up on the outs. Nevertheless she seems to have more people around her than I do, although they may be an odd selection. We seem to keep the same schedule. She was getting into the warehouse of the health food store today for some reason. Never seen a customer do that. The warehouse door was right in front of where I happened to park. It's weird that she is everywhere I go.
Drove by the empty news racks for the our alternative paper that went out of business. They've just left them on the sidewalk. There's graffiti on some of them. There's now no credible independent media where I live. At least two of the TV stations use the same newsroom. The daily paper can be evil and it's thinner than it used to be. Just a year or two ago, there were two daily papers. Now there's one. I'm a writer. This is all alarming. Years ago, I got published as a freelance writer fairly regularly, but the quality of the people working as editors went down and it got harder. Then a few years ago, I couldn't get a letter to the editor published. My work is better than before. Now those publishing outlets may not even exist, done in partly by indifference to quality content. When I send email submissions to other magazines, I never get any response, not even a form rejection. I don't think they even read them. Still, when you see your sector going away, it alarms you even though it wasn't really there for you for a long time. As a reader, seeing the disappearing of the printed word disturbs me. We just got word that the large chain bookstore in the mall I frequent will be gone in a year. How long that chain will even last is a question. The other large chain bookstore here closed a few years ago. They had the best selection. If the remaining chain stores close, there won't be any bookstores in the city I live in. Watching the world you knew disappear is alarming.
