I'm new to the forum, but I've been a long time reader. I'll try to make this focused as I know there have been a lot of threads around this topic and before I get directed elsewhere I want to be clear about what I haven't been able to find much info on...
I'd like to get insight on if Uridine + DHA (mrhappy stack minus the choline...I'll explain below) along with small amounts of adderall (3-7mg per dose) could be safe for long term use (1-2 years) until I can start to taper off completely?
So I guess the meat of this question is whether or not we think the synergy is more or less dangerous long term? Is the combination going to help me get off completely in the long term or make it harder in the future?
My Hypothesis:
Uridine, as written about extensively here, has some evidence that it helps reset/regulate/upregulate dopamine receptor density which many users after stimulant abuse or just use have said they've benefited from. It's helped them return to or have more 'normal' dopamine system function (motivation, reward, etc).
I'm saving many arrows in my metaphorical quiver if you will (DLPA/L-Tyrosine, Avena Sativa, etc) and Uridine is one I will either use now in synergy to help prepare my body or later when completely off of Adderall. I'm not trying to amplify the effects of adderall (I believe all of the supplements do), just prepare my body to go without adderall one day but in a healthy and responsible process. I am trying to thread the needle between stopping adderall but not have my life fall apart like most peoples do for some time upon quitting. I don't have the luxury of taking a year off of work (entrepreneur, see below) , working a standard 9-5 job with limited responsibilities until I get my feet back up under me.
I'd like to believe Uridine might do at least one of the following offsetting / stemming the tide of damage Adderall is doing to my dopamine system while I try to dig myself out of the mess I created.
- Mitigating/stemming the tide of downregulation of dopamine receptors (given the small dosage I'll be on, maybe even begin reversing it -wishful thought)
- Helping begin reversing gene changes from Adderall/stimulant use
- At the very least - Helping me take progressively less amounts due to the sensitivity increase to stimulants Uridine would provide
If I go cold turkey (which I have tried) I am in a mess as you'll read about below. Would really appreciate any comments or thoughts on this from you guys! I value your feedback and have been reading your posts for years.
Brief Background Information:
I've been on adderall for about 5 years now. I have never abused it in any sense of the word abuse. I've never taken extra, snorted, etc etc. From day one I've been very cautious about the whole thing and actually reluctant to be on it (felt like it was a crutch). I was still naive enough to have pretty much started and stayed at 20mg of IR (instant release) either 2 or 3 times a day for a few years. I did take breaks but not very long ones (a couple of days up to 1-2 weeks).
I've tried quitting over the past 2 years and can successfully quit completely even for a number of months. However, I have found the effects like most people are devastating to my professional and personal life. The whole 'I don't know who I am' anymore without it is definitely a major issue on top of the lack of productivity. I started my first business 9 years ago and have grown it into a very successful business as well as another start-up with huge potential.
The first major problem is when I quit I lose both "people" now. Obviously the superhuman "adderall" me is gone (I know we can't have this person anymore), but also the "before Adderall" me is gone as well. I don't have much desire for anything,motivation, drive, or interest in the same things so I'm left so confused. I don't want to throw away 10 years of hard work to go cold turkey off a drug because I'm so confused about who I am.
The second major problem is that I've unintentionally leaned on this 'crutch' (adderall) way more than I've even realized. My healthy organic discipline muscle has been totally atrophied leaving me with bad habits and poor discipline to get things done the normal way. (*I think Adderall reverses your reward system. On adderall you already have the dopamine rush so you 'want' to do things you normally wouldn't. You just do them because you already want too. The normal process is to do a task/project and receive the dopamine rush as a reward of accomplishing something. You get the dopamine after you finish it. Anyways...another topic. PS- I'm not on adderall while I write this lol). The stress of the workload combined with the weak atrophied discipline, habits, etc are completely overwhelming me when off of it. I don't have the "muscle" to stand on my own completely yet even under a much lighter load.
Notes on Choline:
I can not figure it out, but seems like every source of choline I try gives me either worse depression or brain fog or both! I've tried CDP, GPC, and ALCAR. ALCAR was mildest but seemed to still depress. CDP was the worst. *I can eat eggs without these effects or atleast the effects have been so mild I don't really notice.