Internet is great stuff and sharing experience I think benefit all of us. This is probably going to be long post.
I read you articles daily. On brain fog…basically everything. And I really love work you do. Maybe in the future, I could help.
I try to improve myself everyday. Through meditation, exercising, supplements, keto diet, everything.
Let me share my agony and story. Hope I will get any response.
If I find right answers for myself, I will write article about this. Or report to you guys. I think there are a lot of good things I came across. Im very self self aware and almost every stuff I put in myself, I can see if its any improvement or side effect.
See I started to drink my first cup of coffee like, 6 years ago, until I was 26. Never smoked. Back then I was starting business working 2 jobs at time.
Reason to start drinking coffee was performance. And I am person, who always looking for answers.
6 years later I tried Ephedrine, DMAA, DMHA, Yohimbine, Modafinil (not stimulant)...
And now I need help...
I drank like 6 gallons coffee per day. Strong coffee. And then one day, my fitness coach gave me Modafinil. Reason was, because full focus on bussiness does drain you off. And coffee never did anything for me. I can drink 3 liters before bed and I can go to sleep no problem.
I felt nothing on coffee, if I overdose I feel little headache and thats it.
So Modafinil - it gave me this 1% of advantage, but I could take 400mg and still going to sleep. Yes I could hear ants building sandcastles under my bad, but still. This Half Sleep.
Then one day one guy mentions Ephedrine. What the hell, I need to order that shit. And few months have passed I forgot about this. Then my fitness gains was great, body fat was low, and I tried to cut that shit around my belly once it for all (I was chubby kid and I hated it).
Then I ordered Fat burner. With Ephedrine. One day my marriage was approaching, I wasnt in good place mentally, I woke up, drank my 3dcl coffee like everyday, took my regular fat burner (which I didnt feel anything) and I took, 25mg of ECA on empty stomach.
I thought I'm dying. Feeling I never felt before, anxiety, sickness, heart rate 178bpm (resting). HARDCORE STIMDICK. I smelled neighbors dog, goldfish and his underwear. No joking. Music was different. At first I thought It was unconscious fear of marriage.
But then after 5 or 8 hours it stopped.
I was surprised. I can drink 6 coffee per day, sleep like a baby, no jittery, no anxiety no nothing. Then 25mg of Ephedra give me this. Lower the dose at half. Anxiety was still the same, same shit feeling.
I mean, it was really bad.
Then I tried DMAA, it was the same shit. I could do shit, I wished I go to corner and just die. No motivation. I tried to workout, I thought I will puke. Worst part was stim dick. I was always person, who could fuck no matter what. Never happened me that I lost libido. I just didnt felt me.
But it DID woke me up , but I could be productive. Anxiety, bad feelings was just too bad to do anything. If I microdose, stimdick was there.
I hated it.
Then I ordered Yohimbine HCL. This is different stuff. Also gives me anxiety, but different kind. Its like being in hopeless situation. Simple problems doesnt have solutions. Stim dick is also not the same. Dick is not shrunken, It gives me random erection, but sex? No thank you. My self esteem so too low, everything in my life is bad (thats what I feel on Yohimbine)
Then I came across DMHA. This shit is totally different. I dont get anxiety - I actually feel euphoria, i feel alive.)
But again, stim dick - but not that kind. On DMAA and Ephedrine its shrunken. Little.
On DMHA its just not interested. (HE - penis). Like, he's depressed or something.
So why DMAA cause stimdick, but DMHA only cause loss of libido?
Why I feel so negative on Yohimbine - when In reallity Im very positive person?
Why 10mg of Ephedra causing anxiety, 6 cups of Black coffee dont?
Do you guys have more info about DMHA and how its working? Why it doesnt couse same side effects as DMAA?
When Im off those stimulants Im feeling great. High libido (too high sometimes - think about sex even after 3 orgasms per day.)
Im very calm person (too calm).
I have a bussiness which I created from nothing, I always loved my life, love sex.
But that is my problem, I get too calm, too content. And there are days, where I need very very hard will to do things. I always do, because Im very disciplined, but on those days its pain or when I start tasks I procrastinate.
Then DMHA helps - very much. (but I get this stimdick - or uninterested dick).
I noticed that Nicotine helps a little. But not much.
Always sucked at math. I have high logic, but not when it comes to “boring” stuff. I dont know if its ADHD but whatever. Im genious on things that interests me, but only to certain degree. When to comes to excelance Im always short for this few percent of focus and energy.
Focus (like hardcore studying on things - even if they interests me - mentally exhausted me - I cannot focus like other people for long period of time). If I do, I feel very very stressed.
I know what I want to be, so Im just working toward this. Im very creative, with lots of ideas. Maybe it is ADHD - and if it is, I want to find right balance.
Im looking for answers, because on good days I DONT NEED nothing.
Im looking for that feeling of positive vibrancy, when I feel great, full on energy, positive expectancy.
Through stimulant I want to find mechanism, since I tried almost every thing that was on your site written.
Sometimes Im like this sharp that even surprise me. And on other days im just meh.
So I read your site. But I tried a lot of stuff. Some stuff did helped me. I found out a lot of things. I can give you list of all things I tried, everything I noticed. LITTLE, detailed things, which are not placebo.
My kid has the same brain as me, I hate that one one way. So Im doing this for him too. To be happy and succesful in his life.
Ok, its long I know. But hope I hear from you.
Have a nice summer