Hey guys,
As some of you already know I suffer from schizophrenia, although my diagnoses is schizophrenia. Because I became a "specialist" in controlling my positive symptoms over the course of 15 years I barely suffer from schizophrenia but because my diagnoses is schizophrenia (and not depression) I do not get any help/treatment in maintaining my depression, other than shoving down a antidepressant.
Due to the fact that my diagnoses is schizophrenia they do not bother helping me in psychological problems in controlling my depression because it might trigger someone with schizophrenia according to the guidelines. I'm pretty much sick of my psychiatrists giving me appointments, not to help me out in my depression but just because I'm pretty much "normal" and fun to talk with, therefore I have fired 4 of them over the past 2 years. And I'm sick of talking to nurses that are nowhere near qualified as psychologists to help people with depression, they're like adult baby-sitters that think they're relevant, which in my experience are too incompetent in helping me with issues.
I did some digging and I'm fairly sure that I suffer from clinical depression (the melancholic type). You take away what makes me melancholic, you take away my depression. But it's easier said than done, there are 4 things that makes me depressed. Having no intimate relationship (I do however have a long distant relationship which is hard to maintain but it's to personal and complicated to write down here), unable to work-out intensively (because I have a Patulous Eustachian Tube in my inner ear which in the EU is no known treatment for), antipsychotic induced negative symptoms and the last is that my 2 out of 3 psychossises started due to a real conspiracy against me, (which I get recognition for by psychologists but I'm unable to share it with the world because I have no money to hire a interviewer to share it with the world.)
Anyway because it's me against the world and the world of psychiatry I'm looking for other (self)treatments, right now I'm still self-medicating with alcohol because I get no other help than antidepressants and/or I do not get psychological help but I want to try other things that compensate me chemically. I'm sure I can be high on life some day but for the time being I'm just looking to compensate myself chemically (sounds junkie I know so don't come up with street drugs haha).