Hello all,
I was a 5 year daily user of modafinil. I've quit around 5 months ago. A month after I initially stopped, I started to experience severe withdrawal symptoms such as random panic attacks, ramped up anxiety from the moment I woke up to the moment I slept, severe depression, hopelessness, exhaustion, rage, mood swings, and my cognition was affect to the point where basic math calculations were difficult and I couldn't comprehend simple concepts.
I am just recently started feel improvements in these symptoms. My memories have been flooding back and I've been having daily random flashbacks of my past. My long and short term memory were severely affect by the tail end of my modafinil usage.
I am also waking up from what seems like a delusion of granduer. I don't know if this because of modafinil+agmatine combo but this delusion seemed to have lifted once I ceased every and all nootropics/Supplements.
I have stopped initially because i noticed last year that modafinil was severely increasing my anxiety especially social anxiety, to the point where I would be nervous to leave my home and suspicious of people. I would also be scared of interactions while on modafinil. This eventually led me to socially isolate myself from my friends. I haven't interacted with a peer my age in over 2 years.
I am just beginning to realize how little awareness I had about my mental health and my life in general the past 5 years I was on modafinil. It really started to make sense once I ceased modafinil.
My lease ended last month and around 2-3 months ago while I was in the brute of the withdrawal, the thought of moving seemed extremely overwhelming and it kept giving me a panic attack so fortunately my parents agreed to let me move in with them until my mind got right.
I know this can't be all in my head or be placebo just off the simple fact that I'm expecting symptoms like panic attacks and hopelessness. I know something is happening to me neurologically since my head is so used to taking modafinil.
Has anyone gone through the same? How was it like? What is exactly going on? Did you recover completely?
I am scared that I've done some irreversible neurological damage to myself as it's been 5 months and something still doesn't feel right in my mind.
Thank you