So I've always had a hard time falling asleep. I remember it started in primary school at around ~10 years old. I would sometimes go to school having not slept at all. The main issue is falling asleep aka sleep onset. My 20s was quite party-filled and I enjoyed stimulants and alcohol a bit too much, which only made matters worse, I went through prolonged periods with barely any sleep. During more crazy times, total sleep time for a week could very well be 8-16 hours, even then I sometimes doubted if I actually slept or if I was just so far gone that I thought I was sleeping, lol, since getting any sleep during this time usually meant dropping several benzos at once combined with either booze or quetiapine or a Z-drug. Even 4-5 of a given benzo would not get me to sleep, I simply had to combine atleast two depressants to get some shuteye. Dangerous... Anyway, nowadays I lead a healthy active life and still find it very hard to fall asleep. I will list a selection of medicines I have used and would appreciate suggestions of alternatives.
Although I have found a number of effective medicines, it appears all the ones that work for me come with serious side-effects, are not suitable for long-term use, or simply not appropriate for other reasons. I shall list them in terms of effectiveness:
After using zolpidem (5-10 mg) for years it is becoming apparent that it has negatively impacted my memory (very considerably) both short-term and long-term recall, also some next day grogginess although lesser so than the medicines that follows.
Quetiapine I would say works second best. Too many serious side-effects (mechanism of action too broad to justify use as only a sleep-aid), next day grogginess, appears to counteract my anti-depressant medicine (MAOI).
Benzos work third best, same issues as quetiapine AND zolpidem e.g., grogginess, memory issues, obvious slurring of words if dose too high or combined with certain other medicines.
Alcohol, works quite well if I drink ~50 cl booze. For obvious reasons long list of issues with this including addiction, harm, lack of healthy sleep etc.
Cannabis works quite well, especially combining smoked plant with oral THC. Similar issues, memory problems, next day grogginess. Another issue is legal access, I travel regularly and have easy access in some places and extremely difficult and illegal access in others. It also does not work as effective or consistent as say zolpidem or quetiapine.
Strong antihistamines, they work at times, but comes with next day grogginess, often times drying of sinus and mouth, causes cognitive deficits and increases risk of alzheimer and dementia.
I have searched for alternatives and as you can clearly tell, tried a lot. I did not mention some herbal remedies, minerals, etc as these simply does not even come close to aforementioned pharmaceuticals in terms of effectiveness. I guess a lot of people who suggest herbs or minerals either does not have as severe insomnia, or simply never tried stronger medicines.
I would appreciate some suggestions. And perhaps some thoughts on the following medicines I found in my research:
Lemborexant, brand name Dayvigo, (or other orexin antagonists). Are these effective and without any of the sides I have mentioned?
Clonidine?
Trazodone, reports on cognitive impact seems mixed here, any thoughts? Also read about potential next day grogginess.
Perhaps a combination of herbs+minerals+melatonin? Would something like lemon balm or glycine+magnesium+melatonin be effective while devoid of serious side effects? One of concern with a cocktail like this is that it might irritate the digestive system, while perhaps not helping sleep onset considerably.
Currently trying agomelatine, only one day in but so far has only made insomnia worse.