As long as I can remember, I've had an aversion to caffeine. Never drank soda or coffee. Right now, I only keep it around for situations when I have to drive when I'm a little tired. If I ever take it for increased energy, help studying, etc., I inevitably regret it.
I'm not normally an anxious person; what anxiety I do have is very low-level, and always under control. I can take any other stimulant out there with no adverse effects, except perhaps a little discomfort with excessive physical stimulation in the strong ones. I have a script for adderall which helps me tremendously, and from which I experience almost no negative side effects.
But even relatively small amounts of caffeine give me fairly severe anxiety. Today I took two doses of 50mg each, about 6-7 hours apart (first time in a month or so). At the moment I'm having trouble staying on-task; I feel like I should be doing something, anything else, but I'm experiencing such an uncharacteristic sense of wrongness (when I'm usually very reflective and content) that I'm having trouble deriving pleasure from things I usually enjoy. It's almost like a fidgety paranoia. I can close my eyes and take deep breaths, and still my mind quite easily, but there is still this pervasive feeling of wrongness that seems well outside my ability to manipulate.
I wonder if anyone could shed some light on the mechanism for this unusual reaction? Any agent that people use to decrease anxiety due to caffeine, which wouldn't negate its energy? I'd like very much to be able to use it occasionally without feeling so unlike myself