
What was happening before was, my mother would say “Finish cleaning your room quickly or I will (harm you)”. In that situation most people would think “Oh shit! I’d better hop to it!” and finish cleaning their room in a hurry. Not me. I would immediately stop cleaning it and become a non-functional crying shaking mess (hey, I’m an Aspie, I have meltdowns!). There was no explaining to mother that threatening me with abuse was highly counterproductive (she was too arrogant to listen to what anyone else had to say, she had her own ideas about everything). So the only way to get it clean at that point was to take something to calm myself down (before the bacopa abuse I was a drug user, surprise surprise).
At the time I did not have any local friends who could lend a hand because I rarely socialized (I was bedridden with chronic pain for 10 years).