That is one weird and badly run library!I'm at the library. This would be a nice place to be on a rainy day. There's a view of the mountains. But you can hear the power flush toilets when you try to sit and read magazines. I was blocked from using the computers because I used one for 15 mintues when the user got off early. They have an automatic system that is supposed to give you an hour before it blocked you. Then a guy who seems to play with himself was in the library. He sat at the computer that is by itself with his hand in his lap suspiciously. I dropped notes off with the librarians. The next time I saw him his hand was not in his lap anymore. He must have noticed that I narked on him and negated that chance to catch him.
Now there are fleas. Two black fleas on the paper I printed out. Fleas, masturbators, toilets and computers that time you out 45 mintutes early. Aren't you glad you pay taxes so people have a place to be and connect to society?
#91
Posted 13 March 2012 - 11:08 AM
#92
Posted 14 March 2012 - 04:38 AM
#93
Posted 01 April 2012 - 12:13 AM
As soon as I went in I felt sick (paint fumes coming off of the walls). Had she been one of my buddies I would have said, "There are fumes in here and I am getting sick. Let’s eat somewhere else", but I knew that if I did she would throw a temper tantrum. Intimidated, I kept my mouth shut.
By the time we were about to leave my vision was blurred. I checked the chair and the floor to make sure I hadn't left anything. I thought it looked good, but I asked Mother to check it for me anyways (she knows damn well that vision problems are a part of my brain condition). She refused to check, instead snapping, "be self-sufficient!".
Then, after I got home, I went to get my MSM bottle out of my purse to take the next dose. It was gone. Who knows what else I left at the restaurant, I don't know what else I had in my purse (I didn't exactly write a list of everything that was in there). I hope I didn’t lose anything important.
Aside from the fact I ate in a fumey restaurant, the fact that she never helps me out when I need it irks me. Anyone in their right mind would help someone with vision problems check for lost belongings before they leave a room if asked (other people I know don't mind doing that), but no, she tells me to "be self sufficient" and rants about how all she wants is “a low-maintenance kid".
I suppose that her wish for a self-sufficient low-maintenance kid is the reason I have been brain damaged 8 times and not once did she inconvenience herself by taking 5 minutes out of her day to call the paramedics?
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#94
Posted 01 April 2012 - 03:55 AM
i find it really sad that your mom has that response to your health problems .. it seems like it's not all that uncommon. i guess she just wants to avoid the realities of your condition (would rather do that even if it strains your relationship than acknowledge it for what it is). I'm not sure if this is more a modern thing - maybe people grow up expecting for government health care to remedy everything now, not expecting to have to care for each other's health, so resent it more now when they feel they have to, and are more prone to denying that person's health concerns so that they don't have to face up to them, which they were never prepared to do. that's no excuse for not caring for others, of course.
what is your brain condition and how has it been damaged? (maybe if there's a thread on it you could direct me there). do you live with your mom?
Edited by buckwheats, 01 April 2012 - 04:08 AM.
#95
Posted 02 April 2012 - 03:58 PM
What bothers me is that nobody bothered to ask or care why a 'child', and I use that term lightly, was allowed to go out on the streets alone without parental supervision while serving suspension from school for possession of any empty drug bag when a responsible parent would know that their child was either using or selling, or both. Where is the outrage at the parent that didnt care? The parent whom, if they did care, would have never allowed there child to be outside alone to begin with, and thus never killed.
What bothers me currently is that people seem too ready to demonize, without any evidence and based soley off the media, a person that might just be the victim in the situation.
What bothers me currently is that people seem to think it is ok for a child, again using the term loosely because we have 17 year olds taking lives in our armed forced currently, to committ physical harm to someone, but it is NOT ok for the person on the receiving end to defend their life.... if that is of course what happened.
What bothers me currently is the media portraying a gold toothed, hoodie wearing, self proclaimed gangster, with a history of burglary, vandalism, and drugs as an innocent little, baby faced child by running extremely old and irrelevant pictures.
What bothers me currently is that I can go on and on about this.
#96
Posted 03 April 2012 - 01:31 AM
please don't use this thread to write about this site.
supportive feedback only, please
please, no advice or criticism to the posters
no debating
Post don't have to make sense.
This intended to be a place to vent without having to explain oneself.
Thanks.
I'm so sorry your Mom is like that Destiny's Equation. "Low maintenance" That's abusive. Defining legitimate needs as somehow crossing a series of imaginary lines and demonizing them or ruling them too much. I have some experience with that behavior. It sucks. Anyone who says they want a "low maintenance" family, spouse or especially child should not have one.
Edited by Luminosity, 03 April 2012 - 01:34 AM.
#97
Posted 06 April 2012 - 04:20 AM
It feels like something doesn't want me to focus. Like if that happened, the social order would be threatened. If I was organized . . . so they keep that from happening. Very effectively too. I have some collagen I have to take in my backpack. I'm tired of getting things out of my backpack and following a complicated regimen. Always something. And then I'm supposed to recreate my order which I spent so long on and I don't want to. I feel weird. I place these long expensive orders and half-way through the person on the other end loses interest and is hard to engage. Hey, I just exceeded a hundred dollars and you aren't paying attention. Shouldn't it work the other way? It's hard to deal with. It happened on the order but then it didn't go through for other reasons. Another company I tried isn't any better. Twice on long order the person would not read ingredients and got difficult.
So now there is this murky energy and darkness and shame and aversion. I don't know how they feel. Probably not great. It's not a great company but I haven't found a replacement.
#98
Posted 06 April 2012 - 02:37 PM
Ya right...
#99
Posted 06 April 2012 - 07:03 PM
#100
Posted 07 October 2012 - 05:42 PM
All I do now is keep calling her number, which now never answers in some mental hope of hearing her voice say my name again. I love you Grandma and I am eternally sorry and grateful.
Violetta
#101
Posted 08 October 2012 - 02:52 AM
#102
Posted 08 October 2012 - 03:14 AM
#103
Posted 08 October 2012 - 05:48 AM
#104
Posted 22 October 2012 - 02:51 AM
#105
Posted 20 December 2012 - 03:45 AM
Do I need two thousands dollars worth of equipment on top of being an excellent writer and submitting good stuff? I guess so. I feel shut out. I feel like I'm wounded and nobody cares. I feel like the thing itself is me and they no longer care about writing. Replicants are in the place of editors and publishers.
Edited by Luminosity, 20 December 2012 - 03:46 AM.
#106
Posted 16 January 2013 - 06:51 AM
I went to Google and it has a different looking logo. It looks like a child drew it. It freaked me out because for some reason, just before that, Safari couldn't find the web address I was looking for and I thought someone put up a trojan horse site.
Don't ever do that again!
#107
Posted 07 February 2013 - 04:31 AM
I brought my wrong notebook. I had stuff to post on my blog in it, but it's at home. I brought my old one instead.
#108
Posted 07 February 2013 - 06:59 AM
#109
Posted 23 February 2013 - 06:32 AM
I said, "You're the one whose honking an yelling." I got into the parking space I wanted but I later left because I thought I'd better park somewhere else. More low blood sugar. Because I had one frickin cup of black tea this morning. How unjust is that? What's with the crowds at this mall? It's supposed to be the easy suburban mall that isn't difficult. That'sthe purpose of it.
I feel jangly. Why can't I have a frickin cup of black tea. I can drink brandy. Am I a pirate? You can give me a triple dose of Benadryl, nothing. A double dose of Ambien, very little effect. So here I am, all jangly and low blood sugary, and with those electric waves after such a thing. The trip to the grocery store went so well. I really should be eating now but there isn't that much time left to use the computer.
Noises of the energy, whew, grrrr, jangle, jolt, zap, grrrrr, whew, hmmmmmm
#110
Posted 25 February 2013 - 03:31 AM
The store the bakery was in had their seasonal decorations out, silk cherry blossoms hanging from bamboo trellises, ringed by glass and ceramic bells. They were nice, anyway.
There's this idiot talking to the security guy in the computer store. About women but not it a way I want to hear about, now it sounds kind of violent. Don't need it. It's hard to complain to the management because I use their computers so much but I really don't want to hear it and no one else does either.
I moved away and complained to an employee. Don't know if it did any good but that's about all I could do. Felt better to do that.
Edited by Luminosity, 25 February 2013 - 04:12 AM.
#111
Posted 25 February 2013 - 09:22 AM
#112
Posted 27 February 2013 - 03:19 AM
#113
Posted 27 February 2013 - 07:15 AM
Politics is a science with its own laws and it needs intelligent people.
Edited by Maecenas, 27 February 2013 - 07:16 AM.
#114
Posted 03 March 2013 - 04:28 AM
It could have just been a beautiful day.
Edited by Luminosity, 03 March 2013 - 04:28 AM.
#115
Posted 03 March 2013 - 05:08 AM
I need to learn to ignore this lady. She seems like she has gotten better but it's never true.
#116
Posted 13 March 2013 - 04:44 PM
#117
Posted 15 March 2013 - 07:00 AM
#118
Posted 01 April 2013 - 03:15 AM
#119
Posted 14 April 2013 - 11:22 PM
They have actually disabled any ability we might have to access our history or I could retrieve my previous post. In some cases, you can't even use the back button. I guess nothing we have to say could be that important. You fuckfaces!!!!!!!!
And it's all so bland, so professional, the way they talk to us. This is driving me nuts. If I get out of it, that still leaves thousands of people depending on this resource who will likely not be able to advance to function in society and that affects all of us here, trust me.
I've just spend half of my hour allotment on library nonsense and haven't accomplished anything.
Stuff always happesn whenever I leave the house before 3:00 p.m. It was hot, there were way too many cars on the road, the parking was parked up, most of the computers were taken and a guy I'm no longer friends with was next to the only open computer--in addition to the library bullshit. I'm always reminded why I don't go out earlier. I wanted to use this day. I wanted to be productive. How frickin productive is this? And that librarian was so snotty. Earlier when two different librarians had different accounts of which computers were reserved, I thought they would try reconcile the information, but I finally had to resolve it myself. Turns out one of them doesn't know who to use the system. I asked the other one to show her, and she just said, "We were looking at different screens." I asked, "Shouldn't you be looking at the same information?" She allowed as how they should. I asked her to show the other one how to use the system. She somewhat snarkily said she would later, as if I was unreasonable. That one always acts like I am unreasonable. Like the time I told her someone had peed on the seat I was about to sit on. She acted like me telling her was unreasonable. Not sure how that works in her mind. This is so pissing me off and angering me. I don't like it at all. Now I've used up 37 minutes of my hour on their bullshit.
I'm not right wing but seeing how little I get done on the publicl-yfunded library computers compared to the computer store computers makes you think.
Edited by Luminosity, 14 April 2013 - 11:34 PM.
#120
Posted 21 May 2013 - 05:08 AM
Edited by Luminosity, 21 May 2013 - 05:10 AM.
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