CBT really is helpful. it's not about someone telling you that your anxiety is all in your head. it's about learning tools that the rational part of your mind can use to rein in the irrational scared part of your mind. first you learn to listen to what your automatic negative thoughts are...they're such a habit that we often don't even realize we're thinking them. recognize them, write them down. then you examine and challenge them, with questions like "is this really true?"; "so what?"; "what's the absolute worst thing that would happen if this were true?"; "are there any other ways of looking at this situation?"
I agree this can help to some degree - but in the end, it is just a very convoluted way of saying it is all in your head - fix it there. I can (and sometimes) do all this given the time, it just will not ever stick in the situation I need it the most (no time to zone out for 30s and convince yourself it's all good while trying to actually do something).
As for "there is always someone worse", that never worked for me (it's a completely self-defeating thing, too, why bother trying) - if anything, there is always someone better to look up to.
I agree that works (better with plain than hot chicks, though) but it unfortunately usually leads exactly to where you were saying it would - nowhere at all.oh, and, about talking to girls...i think the best way to go is to just tell yourself right up front that you are absolutely not going to get romantic with that chick...zero chance of sex. take the pressure off...you can just be yourself instead of worrying about how to pick her up. just talk to her like she's any random person. be interested in her as a human being, be curious, ask questions (not too many; don't want to grill people, lol). questions are a great conversation tool. if you go into conversations hoping to say the "right"things and pick her up, you'll just psyche yourself out.
