Seriously dude, you should try and get a grasp on life.
Trying to punish your parents by being not-them is not an identity.
As if you, angered by your parents lack of appreciation, went into an anti-atheist store and picked out a nice religion of the brand 'christianity'.
You put it on and shown your parents that you chose a new set of values from the store contrary to theirs and so do not adhere to their set of values anymore. You rejected them back.
In this way you denied their ability to validate your identity to be true (which they had issues with doing in the first place - thus causing you to reject them).
Since then you are constantly driven to validate your new identity but have no means to do it since your original caretakers have failed at this and then to spare yourself the pain you denied the fact that you need their validation.
So now other people serve as mere targets that allow you to project this relationship with your parents. By arguing your pick, christianity to be better than atheism, you're trying to show your parents you're more true than them, that you don't need their validation, that they in fact need yours.
You needing their (emotional)validation is a biological given, you can't change that.
You can only admit it, you can mourn it, but you can't defeat it - you can only lose your entire life and potential identity to an endless stream of fighting projections from this repressed notion of "not being allowed to be you".
You're now stuck in showing your parents that you have all to power to be what they didnt approve. You have all the arguments that makes being christian a logical and valid decision for you. You've shown them. And what now? What when the show is over? You repeat it endlessly with every other person on the internet?
While I have said many things in these threads some to provoke you or ridicule you. It's not that you didnt deserve it but that's not the point.
Point is, I really mean what I said above, sincerely. I suggest you take a moment, forget our relations, forget these threads, just read the above post and think about it, take to a shrink and talk with him about it, talk and think for a long time, think about what you're doing with your life and where's the sense in it. What has all the time and effort here really produced.
Can you actually show a normal person what you've done here? What you've wasted your time on? Can you even show yourself? What the product here? At least 15 forum members tried a discussion with you and ended up called you names... 1-2 agreed with you but you didn't establish much of a discourse with them... for some reason... think about it...
Edited by addx, 14 April 2015 - 11:54 AM.