23 replies to this topic

[The Immortalist]

How can I stop feeling like I'm too small? I just feel so average, I thought 6' was supposed to be taller than average? There's tons of people around me who are my height or taller. Also I still feel too skinny even though I'm 220lbs and lift weights all the time. How can I stop being so insecure?

[Luminosity]

You need therapy. Your height is above average and your weight is not too thin at all. The problem is inside your head.

Edited by Luminosity, 02 May 2012 - 04:29 AM.

[The Immortalist]

Your height is above average and your weight is not too thin at all. The problem is inside your head.

I know this to be true intellectually.

[mpe]

Man up, theirs always someone taller, more muscular, better looking, richer and smarter, oh and there he is chatting up your wife and or girlfriend.
Life's a bitch

Mike

[churchill]

How can I stop feeling like I'm too small? I just feel so average, I thought 6' was supposed to be taller than average? There's tons of people around me who are my height or taller. Also I still feel too skinny even though I'm 220lbs and lift weights all the time. How can I stop being so insecure?

You probably suffer from Body dysmorphic disorder, if in doubt just get a few unbiased opinions from other and you will soon see it is just the way that you view yourself that is incorrect.

[lucid]

How can I stop feeling like I'm too small? I just feel so average, I thought 6' was supposed to be taller than average? There's tons of people around me who are my height or taller. Also I still feel too skinny even though I'm 220lbs and lift weights all the time. How can I stop being so insecure?

As far as height. I'm 6'4 almost 6'5. I never feel short but I don't feel that I'm that tall until I see a really tall guy walking towards me; then when he reaches me I realize that I'm taller Evil laughter ensues.

At 6'0 you are in the mid section of the bell curve for height buddy: taller than average but not by that much. Consider that you can't be short and average at the same time... So on the upside, you aren't short.

Btw... If you're 220 at 6'0 you aren't skinny either. (BMI = 30). If you are muscular, you could pull off 220, but then you are muscular not skinny.

How can you stop being insecure?
As I see it there are two paths to security:
#1 Control your wants & goals (aim for things that are achievable and will really fufill you) (note: goals helping others are often more fulfilling than personal ones)
#2 Take small steps every day to move closer to you goals. Of course some days we move backwards, so net out the right way.

So....
Set a goal of what you want to look / feel like that is realistic and achievable. Hit it and know that you are achieving your potential... that's more than 90+% of the rest of the population can say...

[niner]

There's some good advice above. Helping others tends to remove the focus from your self and direct it outward. That can't hurt. A little therapy might not be a bad idea. I find that developing my skills to the point where people would be willing to pay for the kinds of things I could do is a confidence builder. When I'm not doing science, I like to do construction work. These days, it's easy to learn from the web. Framing, masonry, or anything involving dangerous power tools or blowtorches is good. Get yourself a chainsaw; they are amazing. Knowing that you could cut down half the telephone poles in your neighborhood before the cops got there, and then hold them off til they shot or tased you; what could be better than that?! (The fine line between crazy and confident... Hey, I didn't say to actually do it, it's just that you could...) You're probably too young to remember how George W Bush was always "clearing brush" out at his ranch in Crawford. He was swinging the chainsaw.

[mikeinnaples]

It may be the Marine still in me, but I have to side with MPE here... knock off the emo crap and man up. I would also suggest that you dont seek support from anonymous people on the internet and instead seek it within yourself.

[Orajel]

Your height is above average and your weight is not too thin at all. The problem is inside your head.

I know this to be true intellectually.

Check out something called muscle dysmorphia, it is a real condition that you could be suffering from.

[The Immortalist]

Doesn't it suck that for a woman to look good all they have to do is not eat like a pig and do moderate exercise and for a man to look good they have to train many years in the gym and watch their diet very carefully to attain a low bf%?

[niner]

Doesn't it suck that for a woman to look good all they have to do is not eat like a pig and do moderate exercise and for a man to look good they have to train many years in the gym and watch their diet very carefully to attain a low bf%?

I have a feeling that most women would beg to differ. I'm lucky if I make it to the gym three times in a week, and don't feel deprived with my diet. (non-fanatical paleo) I think I look pretty good as far as musculature/body fat goes. I dunno about the new 5'10 cuz I'm still the old 5'10. And a half! (Thank god I'm not a 5'10.0 midget. The half inch makes all the difference.)

[Lufega]

Date a Latin woman.

[niner]

Date a Latin woman.

Would that make me taller?

[Lufega]

Date a Latin woman.

Would that make me taller?

Most know exactly what to say and do to make you feel like a man and even boost your confidence and self-worth. Thats a quality youll find in most, not all. Maybe after a few months of this type of positive reinforcement, the effect will be permanent.

[Lufega]

Ive been dieting down for the last year. When i was around 6'1 220 lbs with mostly fat and very little muscle, i was a pretty brawny guy and towered over most people. Its all in your head dude. I do pretty good with girls. Never really had a problem. But my significantly shorter younger brother does better than me everytime. Better than i ever will. His DHEA and testosterone is naturally always in the upper range. Mine barely hits normal even with preg and dhea. Its not about looks, its about acting like a man.

Edited by Lufega, 12 May 2012 - 03:29 PM.

[niner]

Date a Latin woman.

Would that make me taller?

Most know exactly what to say and do to make you feel like a man and even boost your confidence and self-worth. Thats a quality youll find in most, not all. Maybe after a few months of this type of positive reinforcement, the effect will be permanent.

Awesome, sign me up. I hope my wife is cool with this...

[Elus]

I suppose it's a matter of perspective. At least you're healthy, cognitively and physically, and above average in several catagories.

Out of millions of sperm, yours was the one to be lucky enough to survive and fertilize the egg. We're all lucky to be here at all. We should make the most of it, especially if we're blessed with above average traits like yours.

Also consider that physical appearance will probably be very alterable in the near future. I wouldn't sweat these things so much.

Edited by Elus, 12 May 2012 - 10:49 PM.

[nowayout]

Definitely some type of body dysmorphic disorder. It is similar to anorexia - problem is there are not really good treatments for anorexia or BDD.

If it helps point out just how crazy your thinking is (it probably won't) - most of the Men's Health type fitness models your height (6 feet) are roughly between 170lbs and 190 lbs. By that standard, you are at least 30 pounds overweight.

[mikeinnaples]

most of the Men's Health type fitness models your height (6 feet) are roughly between 170lbs and 190 lbs. By that standard, you are at least 30 pounds overweight.

Sweet, I just found a new career. I nailed that prereq!

[nowayout]

most of the Men's Health type fitness models your height (6 feet) are roughly between 170lbs and 190 lbs. By that standard, you are at least 30 pounds overweight.

Sweet, I just found a new career. I nailed that prereq!

Here are a few MH models whose stats I was able to get. What gives the illusion of size is not mass but getting the shape right, which means having a low body fat index. That's what makes the difference between mediocre and eye-catching.

6' at 187 pounds:

6' at 187 pounds:


6'2"at 177 pounds:

6'1" at 163 pounds:

6' at 165 pounds:


6'1" at 190 pounds:

6'1" at 187 pounds:

6' and 187 pounds (on left):

Edited by viveutvivas, 14 May 2012 - 02:12 PM.

[JohnD60]

@original poster: I agree with the other posters, you have some kind of body dispmorphic disorder (or you live in football training camp).
@vivutivitas: I am currently 6' 172 lbs, and most similar in build to the first guy. I think the first, second, and sixth guy are a good 5-10 lbs under their stated weights in those pictures. And, poor guys, what happened to all their chest hair!!!!

[mikeinnaples]

The first guy is most similiar to me as well regarding body style. I am 6'0 (and a half) @ 188 currently, so not so sure he is under the state weight ...he might be carrying some of it in his legs from doing squats, etc at higher weights and its not showing in the pic.

Regarding their chest hair ....maybe they got a Fiji wax job like me, heh. Nothing gets rid of chest hair quicker than surfing.

[jadamgo]

Let me add yet more support for the BDD diagnosis. You fit the definition of BDD completely. Your condition could be written up as a case study to explain to young psychologists what BDD is.

I'm generally a fan of telling people to man up and deal with their problems, but I think you've already manned up with all that time in the gym and looking at yourself honestly to realize that your assessment of your looks (and the resulting thoughts and feelings) are inaccurate. Your deal isn't that you refuse to handle your problem, it's that you're doing the wrong things to handle it (working out obsessively and staring at yourself in the mirror and all the other BDD behaviors).

I don't suggest that you stop exercising, but I do suggest that you work with a behavior therapist, or cognitive-behavioral therapist to solve the problem. BDD doesn't often go away by itself any more than anorexia or bulimia would. You need an un-biased expert to help you get this under control.

[Galaxyshock]

It's time to start building your mind.