38 replies to this topic

[YOLF]

I wouldn't suggest having kids for anyone if you don't have the money to do it.

It's not just about the money although I do think it's great that you've thought about that side of things. Even the pushing of the idea that everyone who can should have kids I think is something that society shouldn't be forcing onto people. The only people who should have kids are those able to look after them and give them a reasonable quality of life. You could be a millionaire but if you cannot love and care for the children then you really shouldn't be breeding. I can safely say that were I immortal AND rich I'd still never want to raise children because I just don't like them. If I'm honest with myself and everyone else, I just wouldn't want to waste any amount of years on a chore I'd hate raising kids who'd pick this up and resent me.

Do you have good long-term friends? Like a BFF(s)?

[Droplet]

I have good friends, yes. I even love them to bits but they can look after themselves unlike children. I don't dislike being around children because I dislike people in general. Far from it, I love the company of adults and love social gatherings!

Edited by Droplet, 09 January 2013 - 09:30 PM.

[YOLF]

You can think of kids as you think of your BFFs except you get to be the person who introduces them to the world (all the more reason to figure it out). Strive to have great relationships with your friends and allow yourself to express that extra mile/kilometer of selfless intention and commitment from time to time (like birthdays and holidays) and I think you'll understand it from a different perspective. Which leaves childrearing as something of a puzzle, but it becomes possible. I think you can handle a challenge

[pleb]

why should people have kids simply because they can, i have two both have degree's both are well bought up
but i could have been just as happy without them as with them, all kids are for is the continuation of the species having kids is a female biological urge which is no longer needed,

[Droplet]

You can think of kids as you think of your BFFs except you get to be the person who introduces them to the world (all the more reason to figure it out). Strive to have great relationships with your friends and allow yourself to express that extra mile/kilometer of selfless intention and commitment from time to time (like birthdays and holidays) and I think you'll understand it from a different perspective. Which leaves childrearing as something of a puzzle, but it becomes possible. I think you can handle a challenge

I would really hate having to introduce someone to the world and it's no good taking on a challenge if you know you'll hate every second of it and that you will most likely mess up people in the process. I do go the extra mile with my friends but they are not kids and that's why I like them. The thing I like about adult is they at least know enough about the world to survive in it without having to be cared for. For example you may be able to climb a mountain, you may be able to spend a lot of time striving to do it. However if you cannot stand mountaineering, what the heck is the point?

I'm going to give you another shock revelation that will most certainly land you in therapy and shock your perceptions to the core....just because one person or even a handful of women choose not to have children, it doesn't mean that the whole world will follow suit. I personally think that you should see a psychiatrist right now as for a total stranger, you aren't half obsessed by what my vagina is and isn't planning on doing! You also have an unhealthy fixation with the lifestyle of someone you've never even met and is unlikely to ever have direct influence on your life, again kinda creepy and potentially a psychological disorder. Perhaps the fact that you seem insistant on pathologising my choices somehow is also indicative of a problem that needs treatment.

To be cruel and potentially land you in a secure unit with the revelations of the world, a whole thread on being childfree: http://www.longecity...-minded-people/

I do understand that some people feel incomplete without children and that some people believe that it is the woman's sole place. That's fine but please don't expect me or a good many others to fit in with this notion. Keep looking around though and you'll find women who do agree and see that the world isn't full of people deciding not to breed in droves. Childfree people are a minority so you've nothing to fear.

why should people have kids simply because they can, i have two both have degree's both are well bought up
but i could have been just as happy without them as with them, all kids are for is the continuation of the species having kids is a female biological urge which is no longer needed,

I agree with you 100%, Pleb. I don't know why people like cryonicsculture are so bothered by the decision of a few not to reproduce. I'm okay with people asking why people are childfree, as not everyone is familiar with the concept. However if childrearing is so brilliant, people should spend less time trying to convert those of us who don't make the same lifestyle choice and spend time raising their own families and/or making a difference to the lives of children already here.

Edited by Droplet, 09 January 2013 - 11:06 PM.

[YOLF]

why should people have kids simply because they can, i have two both have degree's both are well bought up
but i could have been just as happy without them as with them, all kids are for is the continuation of the species having kids is a female biological urge which is no longer needed,

With people dying everyday, it's necessary to maintain phenotypic (sp?) diversity, no one is quite like you or could replace you except for your kids. I don't think it's a biological urge at all... sex is, but not having children. That is a responsibility that gets accepted or refused.

[YOLF]

You can think of kids as you think of your BFFs except you get to be the person who introduces them to the world (all the more reason to figure it out). Strive to have great relationships with your friends and allow yourself to express that extra mile/kilometer of selfless intention and commitment from time to time (like birthdays and holidays) and I think you'll understand it from a different perspective. Which leaves childrearing as something of a puzzle, but it becomes possible. I think you can handle a challenge

I would really hate having to introduce someone to the world and it's no good taking on a challenge if you know you'll hate every second of it and that you will most likely mess up people in the process. I do go the extra mile with my friends but they are not kids and that's why I like them. The thing I like about adult is they at least know enough about the world to survive in it without having to be cared for. For example you may be able to climb a mountain, you may be able to spend a lot of time striving to do it. However if you cannot stand mountaineering, what the heck is the point?

I'm going to give you another shock revelation that will most certainly land you in therapy and shock your perceptions to the core....just because one person or even a handful of women choose not to have children, it doesn't mean that the whole world will follow suit. I personally think that you should see a psychiatrist right now as for a total stranger, you aren't half obsessed by what my vagina is and isn't planning on doing! You also have an unhealthy fixation with the lifestyle of someone you've never even met and is unlikely to ever have direct influence on your life, again kinda creepy and potentially a psychological disorder. Perhaps the fact that you seem insistant on pathologising my choices somehow is also indicative of a problem that needs treatment.

To be cruel and potentially land you in a secure unit with the revelations of the world, a whole thread on being childfree: http://www.longecity...-minded-people/

I do understand that some people feel incomplete without children and that some people believe that it is the woman's sole place. That's fine but please don't expect me or a good many others to fit in with this notion. Keep looking around though and you'll find women who do agree and see that the world isn't full of people deciding not to breed in droves. Childfree people are a minority so you've nothing to fear.

why should people have kids simply because they can, i have two both have degree's both are well bought up
but i could have been just as happy without them as with them, all kids are for is the continuation of the species having kids is a female biological urge which is no longer needed,

I agree with you 100%, Pleb. I don't know why people like cryonicsculture are so bothered by the decision of a few not to reproduce. I'm okay with people asking why people are childfree, as not everyone is familiar with the concept. However if childrearing is so brilliant, people should spend less time trying to convert those of us who don't make the same lifestyle choice and spend time raising their own families and/or making a difference to the lives of children already here.

It's not your choice to not reproduce that I don't understand, it's other parts of your personality and written expression that concern me. You seem blunted and speak too strongly against it, like it's a defense mechanism. It's a complex situation and I don't think you were able to make the decision when you did and I still wouldn't recommend you making the decision today. You can get injections that last months at a time and IIRC, the UK gives you healthcare from birth until death. I don't understand the necessity for a permanent procedure. It looks to me like you were motivated from a state of anger or rebellion which your therapist was negligent in correcting and I'm looking on from 3000 miles to see it clearly. You have a ways to go before you should have made that decision. There is an element to your personality that only appears under certain negative circumstances, you still haven't reached healing.

[Droplet]

It's not your choice to not reproduce that I don't understand, it's other parts of your personality and written expression that concern me. You seem blunted and speak too strongly against it, like it's a defense mechanism. It's a complex situation and I don't think you were able to make the decision when you did and I still wouldn't recommend you making the decision today. You can get injections that last months at a time and IIRC, the UK gives you healthcare from birth until death. I don't understand the necessity for a permanent procedure. It looks to me like you were motivated from a state of anger or rebellion which your therapist was negligent in correcting and I'm looking on from 3000 miles to see it clearly. You have a ways to go before you should have made that decision. There is an element to your personality that only appears under certain negative circumstances, you still haven't reached healing.

I don't understand your obsession with my choice not to reproduce,. I was neither angry nor rebelling. You can see from 3000 miles the interior of your own rectum. That is why it is difficult for you to understand anything outside the norm. For your info, before you're sterilised you are seen by a psychologist to check for all this shit you claim to know. Can I ask, do you have a degree in psychology or psychiatry?

As for "blunted" I am just speaking to you in plain English. I'm sorry if I don't write in beautiful poetry and like straightforward communication. You are also shit at reading because as already mentioned, me and the therapist avoided talk about kids, well I avoided it because I was not paying him to give me shit I was paying for help with things that did cause me problems. I'm a believer in if it ain't broken don't fix it. I don't feel broken or in need of any form of "healing."

Please cryonicsculture, I have the following advice for you so, go do the world a favour:


Have just edited the typos in this cos I did it in a rush.

Edited by Droplet, 10 January 2013 - 11:53 AM.

[YOLF]

hahahaha ok as you wish