Log: 9:30 pm — 8/28/13
Sleep hours — 7
Sleep quality — excellent
Dreaming — some memory
Scaled from 0-6:
Health — 6
Fitness — 5
Mood — 6
Energy — 6
Focus — 6
Memory — 5
Libido — 5
Internal Stress (perceived stress) — 0
External Stressors (real life events that require significant responses and changes) — 1
Productivity — 6
Creativity — 5
(Those are em dashes in front of the numbers above, not minus symbols!)
What its done for me thus far:
I am able to lead and/or facilitate social interactions more easily, usually finding a win/win in conflict prone interactions instead of giving up in frustration. That was my primary job before (and still is) but before NSI-189 I would get utterly drained from the process.
I am enjoying reading much more now than I have in the last few years as the PTSD became dominant.
I am no longer depending on project management software for projects and tasks that only take several days, I can keep all my current short-term lists in my head now.
I am remembering phone numbers and dates a whole lot better, as well as remembering to follow through on small but important things that weren't written down.
I am getting much more done without any pressured feeling. I could get a lot done before, but the cost in terms of the amount of stress, mistakes, and anxiety was high.
I am almost always relaxed and alert, in contrast to maybe just a couple of times a day.
I feel more alive and full of vitality, increased libido helps a lot with a sense of vitality, which is very nice.
I don't react much to irritants, instead of cursing a stupid driver out loud and carrying the resentment for 10 minutes, I curse softly under my breath and let it go.
I am no longer completely ignoring a lot of little things that I deemed unimportant, and I am also not over-focusing on a lot of little things that are important to only me, if that makes sense.
I now have a flow, a sense of balance, a realistic feeling of hope, and a much warmer, friendlier engagement with daily life, as opposed to an intense feeling of treading water nearly all the time.
I no longer fantasize about fixing things that are out of my control.
Meditation is deeper, smoother, and stays with me longer. Insight is no longer rare, but normal.
I have dealt with definite PTSD triggering situations without any PTSD symptoms.
Blood pressure, heart rate, and blood glucose changed to optimal levels at around the 2nd week and are staying there.
Notes:
No burn out, no come down. Posslibly some lessened effects when dosing lower. I think in my case a few months on this, possibly cycled, with some sort of optimization strategy, would get me to my highest functioning and let me stay there for good.
I am nearly done with my sample. There has been a steady curve upward on my measures. The next several days will be a good short-term proving as things will be very challenging for me due to upcoming events and I will no longer be dosing.
If there is an optimal way to use this drug for people with acquired brain injury, it might be a 2 or 3 phase treatment over the course of 3 or 4 months:
Use maybe one month in healing mode, especially for someone my age who has acquired brain injury. Then maybe a few cycled phases (off and on) for a couple of months while learning skills that will help prevent further injury. Things like mindfulness training, CBT, DBT, ACT, physical self-care (exercise and nutrition), and stress management could very likely become fully entrained (if taught properly) and thus helpful to prevent future injury. This is a medication that could hugely potentiate those non-drug treatments for a variety of disorders of the brain. So instead of just getting people back to enough functioning that they are merely the walking wounded, which is pretty much how mental health treatment works now, not only will patients get fully well, but also have the skills and mental health to optimize their lives into the future.
I think diet, fun activities, and rest are hugely supportive of this drug. Learning and doing the right stuff while you are taking it is probably going to make a big difference in the long run, especially in retaining the positive changes. And
these are changes, not just positive effects. That I'm pretty sure of. It is not like any other chemical nootropic I know of.