After multiple cycles of NSI for the past 2 years I finally want to share my experience I had with this compound.
Neuralstem this is for you!
Case Study:
gender: male
age: 28
hair: lightly curly, black
weight: 71 kg (156lb)
height: 179 cm
genetic makeup:
father-wise: italian(Huguenots)
mother-wise: blonde-nordic (german)
Background:
I was raised in a above-middleclass family (both parents are academics) living in a single-family house with garden.
I ve one brother (blonde-nordic) who stems from my mothers old marriage.
In school I was a constant underperformer crippled with cognitive deficits, attention problems and subtle feelings of agression. I m linking this behaviour to the fact that my mothers parents died 1986(father) and 1989(mother). I was born in 1987 so I can only can guess that my mother back then was severely depressed and missed crucial developmental caregiving. In addition my mother was suffering from her fathers agressive tensions, beating her up I cannot prove...she rarely speaks about her past. She is also a very socially isolated kind of person, only few friendships made back in her elementary school years. Although she is a taugh women (possibly mild autistic behaviour) I never really developed a loving child-mother relationship to her.
My father has a very calm personality, he rarely has agressive outbursts like my mother or is in any way mean to others.
He was also raised under troubled conditions... his father was incarciated in a russian goulag during the nazi era... when he came home he was a broken man and was supposedly not a good father. So my father was raised by a surrogate family although I m not 100% clear if that was the case... he too speaks very rarely abouth his childhood/past.
My father was more the person I could releate with...allthough in my early years (6-12) I called him viscious names and kind of enjoyed humiliating him coz he was so passive, calm speaking and warm hearthed which stand in absolute opposition to what I experienced/learned in school (academic & social meritocracy hell)
My brother was my prime charackter-evolving influence where he showed me many qualitative sophisticated music and movies even when I wasnt able to conceive them at this very young age.
Psychopathology:
As mentioned above I was struggeling with school in early age (C's and some D's all over the place in school reports)
Coming from a kind of high archiving family it was very painful seeing me not be able to grasp and comprehend the subject material I had to learn for school. A form of ADS was diagnosed later in life at age 25.
After elementary school I visited my brothers Gymnasium (which is a kind of upper-level education high school) I failed miserably and had to leave after just one year.
Then made my way through normal high school and thats the time where I firstly got in contact of my drug of choice: Cannabis. (age 13)
Over the years I was getting depressed more and more... my social surroundings just didnt fit to my personality which was shaped so much by my brothers alternative taste of music and art. At age 16 I used cannabis almost on a daily basis. The anxiety level was on many occasions unbarable...but as beeing a male I wasnt able to talk in any form to anyone about this...I just would not be able to get my point across I guess. I didnt even counciously noticed that I had severe mental problems...some kind of strange deulsion. I constantly felt totally unsecure in my peer group so after long trial and error/failing I just gave up and left them (age 20).
Anything that comes after isn't really worth mentioning... tried to study 2 times (economics: 2 semesters / bioinformatics: 3 Semester) but I was too mentally unstable and non-capacitive to pursue it any timelonger. I also have never experienced a relationship with a women... I just cannot attract or ve even tried to find a woman with this psychological state of mind.
Now I m sitting in my room all day... crippled with anxiety and depression...basicly no future!
NSI-189 treatment:
In the past I tried some medications to alleviated my symptoms of depression,ADS and social anxiety:
Elontril, Edronax, Cipralex, Cymbalata, Ritalin, Modafinil
All SSRIs had mild to no response to me, except Cymbalta which unfortunetly lost its efficacy after just 2 month.
Modafinil helped me out of my catatonic depression-related states but wasnt able to sustain it.
I also used many nootropics...where I only found 5-HTP - L-Tyrosin useful for mild mood uplifiting and noopept-alpha gpc against brainfog.
In desprate pursue of new treatments I stumbled upon NSI-189 in late 2012. Then I was in the first NSI-groupbuy from "ScienceGuy"(mid 2013) which is known as the most respected and high quality NSI synthesis + testing yet.
I took 40mg once a day sublingually for little over 1 month. In paralel I stopped using cannabis 2 weeks before and stayed abstinent for 1 year!
To my very despair it never showed up substantial mood alterings or cognitive betterment of any kind!
The only clear effect I ve noticed over time is that my timeawareness changed dramaticly... the 1 year back felt like 5 years before...really strange coz in past attempts of abstination I never experienced this effect before.
Fast Forward 2015 I recieved a 5g sample from a very kind member of this forum. I m absolutely certain that his sample was 100% legit coz it had the same structural appearance and taste, tounge numbing effect like ScienceGuy's NSI.
This time I took 40mg twice a day in combination with weight lifting/workout and blueberrys supplementation to harness the maximum hippocampal neurogenesis effect.
I took it for 2,5 months but still it wasnt able to relieve me of my loss of motivation, cloudy depressive thoughts and despair. I just dont know whats wrong with me...why it is not working?
All in all it was a worthwile attempt but with no happy end for me.
Edited by MetaMind, 25 July 2015 - 07:03 PM.