6219 replies to this topic

[Ark]

I'd like to add I think NSI-189 should be cycled off for at least a couple weeks every three months, I believe it works better this way.

- If anyone is looking for a source now that Strangelove is busy P.M. me.

-Cheers Ark

Edited by Ark, 05 May 2017 - 07:58 PM.

[Giles Westwood]

Interesting I was wondering about people's recommendations on that front. After almost a week of 10mg I can only report it's been fantastic. Yes it could be placebo and/or confirmation bias but I feel like others on this thread that it's turned back the clock.

 

I wouldn't have categorized myself as depressed exactly but I've been suffering from an inability to make decisions and get things done. I've put things off and seen even hobbies outside of work as a task to be completed not actually just as something fun and even though I can rationalise them as being fun I haven't /felt/ that way. So I suppose this might be a form of chronic self induced stress or anhedonia which is a word I'd never come across before visiting these forums. The result of taking NSI is that I've got things done and I've had fun doing it.

 

Turning back the clock is something that would appeal to a lot of people as they age or say have a mid-life crisis, in which case this drug might have bumper off label usage.

 

I see many reports of fatigue and anxiety on this thread. How long did it take before they kicked in and were you cycling?

 

 

[Lunast]

Does anyone here have any experience with Cerebrolysin for brain regeneration (or experience with it at all, for that matter)?
The main Cerebrolysin thread has been locked for some time, for no discernable reason and I am looking for folks who are still running the substance, or who have run it previously. I'm 4 days into 5ml daily dosage and so far have felt absolutely no result. Cerebrolysin allegedly takes time to build into the system.

Perhaps we could begin a new Cere thread?

Edited by Lunast, 06 May 2017 - 05:00 PM.

[Deaden]

Hi, I suffer from anhedonia and would do anything to get my hands on real nsi-189... I am desperate. I want to feel emotions and pleasure from life again. Doctors are useless, I am helpless.

Edited by Deaden, 06 May 2017 - 06:13 PM.

[FuzzMunky]

Hi, I suffer from anhedonia and would do anything to get my hands on real nsi-189... I am desperate. I want to feel emotions and pleasure from life again. Doctors are useless, I am helpless.

Don't get your hopes up too much. For me and many others it doesn't work. Or if it does it stops working one day just like that.

There are a couple of people who early on in this forum found this out and one in particular turned to mindfulness and says it beats all supplement experiments he's ever done with regards it's effect on anhedonia and feeling emotions. Mindfulness is free.

[beefnewton]

I haven't gotten much (perceivable) effect from it at 40mg per day.  Been on it for about three weeks, but I plan on persisting.

[Deaden]

Hmmmm... maybe you haven't got your hands on real NSI-189, or maybe it just doesn't work. Honestly, what the f*** is this bulls**t? I'm tired of useless f***ing doctors that don't do the job I pay them to do. I don't feel any pleasure from life whatsoever 24/7 and nobody has a solution?? Shouldn't it be a priority for mental health professionals to find answers for our condition?? Like wtf??? When I go see a psychiatrist they prescribe me SSRIs say I'm just anxious when as a matter of fact I feel way less anxiety than I used to. I also read everywhere that SSRIs make it worse, or can even cause anhedonia for some. Unforgivable, I don't care if you're the doctor, I am not going to take s*** that is only going to make my condition worse, and if you don't want to listen to what I have to say, then you don't even deserve to live. I'm so frustrated, so f***ing frustrated.

[beefnewton]

It is indeed frustrating.  I gave up years ago personally and committed myself doing everything on my own through research, trying to understand as well as I could, and being very careful with trial and error.  The NSI-189 I have is definitely real, though.  I've always been one of those "fortunate" people that either has the uncommon side effects, or stuff doesn't work at all.  Phenibut, for example, does very little to me, even at high doses.

[Deaden]

So could you save me years of researching for things that don't work and just make me more hopeless. Have you really found no relief from anhedonia with anything. Also where/ from who did you buy your nsi from...?

[beefnewton]

I wish I could.  Everyone's response is individual, so you could be a good or even over-responder to NSI.  I sent you a PM.  I get some relief for anhedonia from Phenibut.  It's mild, but I at least can actually enjoy a movie when I use it.  I keep it at arm's length, though, and only use it once a week on Saturdays.

[Giles Westwood]

I got mine on ebay from an australian seller but he's stopped selling now. For what it's worth this is the bag mine came in:-

 

https://www.flickr.c...eposted-public/

[Bukujutsu]

Hmmmm... maybe you haven't got your hands on real NSI-189, or maybe it just doesn't work. Honestly, what the f*** is this bulls**t? I'm tired of useless f***ing doctors that don't do the job I pay them to do. I don't feel any pleasure from life whatsoever 24/7 and nobody has a solution?? Shouldn't it be a priority for mental health professionals to find answers for our condition?? Like wtf??? When I go see a psychiatrist they prescribe me SSRIs say I'm just anxious when as a matter of fact I feel way less anxiety than I used to. I also read everywhere that SSRIs make it worse, or can even cause anhedonia for some. Unforgivable, I don't care if you're the doctor, I am not going to take s*** that is only going to make my condition worse, and if you don't want to listen to what I have to say, then you don't even deserve to live. I'm so frustrated, so f***ing frustrated.

 

I'm in a similar condition. I have Asperger's, it's a very complex neurological disorder that few people properly understand, an autism spectrum disorder that doesn't affect intelligence (Tested as gifted in first grade with a 130+IQ range despite really poor life circumstances), and severe anxiety and depression tend to come along with it. The life outcomes are incredibly poor, among the worst for developmental disorders. To take the worst example, the rate of suicidal thoughts is 10x the normal population, even higher than psychosis (think about what that implies), the comorbidity with depression and anxiety is about 65%, few marry and among those that do up to 80% may end in divorce (It's a terrible disorder for relationships), and marriage/a life partner has been found to account for about 19% of happiness in life, the strongest factor, along with a multitude of other benefits, the unemployment rate may be around 80%,  about half of adults with it report having zero friends (This has one of the worst effects on humans, there's a good book and paper I found related to this. Controlling for confounding variables the effect on mortality is worse than smoking and obesity combined, amazingly), and the worst one is, the life expectancy is 12 years shorter than the general population and it's because the rate of suicide is so high. Even among children and teens the rate of suicide has been found to be 10-20x the normal rate. And there's also a high risk of epilepsy, and it may be possible the risk of neurodegenerative disorders may be considerably higher later in life (post mortem studies have found considerably more damage to certain parts of the brain.)

 

I've probably been dysthymic ever since I was a child, depressed since I was a teenager, 5 years ago I qualified for severe depression, 3 years ago I had a mental breakdown due to countless issues that overwhelmed me and being worn down over the years, particularly since I was completely isolated at that point. I've been in a cycle of suicidal depression since then.

 

I also have severe anhedonia and blunted affect, a limited range and intensity of emotions. I've barely felt happy these past 5 years, and even when i do it's fleeting and shallow. I'm probably in the bottom percentile in terms of the cumulative amount of happiness and pleasure I've felt. It's like an inability to find any meaning and fulfillment in life, to feel any connection to the world around you and people, and in my entire life it feels there's been a complete lack of meaningful human experiences and an inability to find anyone I can relate to.

 

It's my burden to bear and I'm going to have to deal with it for the rest of my life. Unfortunately i didn't have a good home life, schools, was a late diagnosis, and never received any therapy for it just due to sheer incompetence. Some people fall through the cracks. My level of intelligence probably masked it, even though my behaviors were completely outside the range of normal human behavior and it should have been obvious.

 

I've done an enormous amount of research and the one drug I would recommend is Nardil/Phenelzine: www.psychotropical.com/anti-depressants/maois

 

It can be difficult to get prescribed, and I had a lot of bad experiences too, which is why I tried to go it alone and wanted to get it synthesized, but unfortunately the process seems to have some really problematic aspects. I'm going to meet a psychiatrist soon and try to get a prescription as soon as possible. I managed to get it once before, but was taken off it without any tapering about a year ago for an incredibly stupid reason, which ended up in my symptoms reaching their worst point, giving up hope on psychiatrists, and eventually ending in me voluntarily checking myself into the ER about a week ago.

 

There's a lot of information about it on https://www.socialanxietysupport.com , a google boolean search works best for finding info on it, and there are a lot of tips on how to best use it and maximize your chances of gaining a prescription. I recall someone linking me to or finding a site where patients rate their satisfaction with antidepressants and Nardil was #1, with Parnate being #2, another MAOI that's better for people without anxiety, but who need more stimulation and have responded well to stimulants, if they've tried them, in the past.

 

I really wish more people knew about this and the perception of the risks wasn't so inaccurate. They should be used far more often than they currently are. It could have saved countless lives. I don't feel well enough to do so at this point and it will take a long time to recover, there are a lot of appointments I need to set, along with a neurologist, but someone should really start planning a group buy for this and try to find a lab to synthesize it.

 

Check out some of the user experiences here, there are countless people who describe it as a miracle drug, life saving, like it turned them into a new person, who they always wanted to be, and for many there seems to be this interesting threshold effect like flicking a switch, where once you reach the optimal dosage one day you just wake up and feel completely different, no matter how bad you were before: https://www.google.c...port.com nardil

 

There is hope, but you may have to keep trying and changing psychiatrists until you find the one that's right for you. They are out there, even if it takes time. Don't make the mistake of getting discouraged like I did, I almost killed myself because of it.

Edited by Bukujutsu, 08 May 2017 - 01:28 AM.

[Valijon]

Suicide victims were found to have an overabundance of Transglutimate 2 in the brain. Besides Pantesin, does anyone know of anything which lowers this?

[Bukujutsu]

Suicide victims were found to have an overabundance of Transglutimate 2 in the brain. Besides Pantesin, does anyone know of anything which lowers this?

 

I had never even seen it mentioned before you brought it up. A quick search brought up some pertinent articles: 

 

Transglutaminase 2 overexpression induces depressive-like behavior and impaired TrkB signaling in mice

https://www.ncbi.nlm...les/PMC5348279/

 

Chronic stress increases level of a protein that decreases availability of mood-regulating chemical

https://www.scienced...60913134017.htm

 

Just from a quick skim and that it seems to be triggered by chronic stress, I think I may know the answer! It's something many people here are already familiar with. Read this paper:

 

The neurobiological properties of Tianeptine (Stablon): from monoamine hypothesis to glutamatergic modulation

http://www.ncbi.nlm....?tool=pmcentrez

 

A simplified summary of what's in it that I posted about a year ago: 

 

• My summary of the second one: Tianeptine=good for brain, then 13 pages of references. Prevents and reverses negative changes caused by stress (anxiety counts) and depression. Describes the following effects: Increases/restores neuroplasticity, anxiolytic, cytoprotective (Cytoprotection is a process by which chemical compounds provide protection to cells against harmful agents), procognitive etc.
• "A modification of glutamatergic mechanisms by tianeptine may therefore be implicated in its ability to oppose the negative influence of chronic stress upon hippocampal neurogenesis, cell proliferation, and dendritic remodeling, processes profoundly disrupted in depressive states (21,44,63). The emerging pharmacological profile of tianeptine suggests that this antidepressant may serve to ‘normalize’ synaptic function, thereby allowing the chemical signal to reinstate the optimal functioning of critical circuits necessary for normal affective functioning."

About half of all people with severe depression chronically hypersecrete cortisol, which is sometimes referred to as the "stress hormone", and over time this can cause permanent (but not necessarily severe) neurological damage along with a wide variety of other effects. Ashwagandha, particularly KSM-66 IIRC, has been shown to have one of the strongest effects on this, reducing it by around 25% or a bit more IIRC. Panax ginseng may also have a strong effect.

 

Well, at least the hypermemory and hyper-systemizing aspects of Asperger's are good for something. Functioning by pure reason and working with information are just about the only things I'm really good at.

[Bukujutsu]

TrkB was also mentioned, but I can't remember the name of the substance that had a strong effect on this. The oral bioavailability is really low, though, so you should either take it intranasally (snort it, then rinse with a neti pot or something similar (I used a water bottle with a protruding snout that fit well in my nostril and that also had a small hole at the top of the cap for air displacement) about 15-20 minutes afterward).

 

Oh, here it is! And it's cheap. Do a search on r/nootropics for more information: https://www.bluebrai...one-supplement/

[Valijon]

Yes, you found it, that is really great! I already use Stablon, mostly to combat chronic pain. I'll have to look into this other supplement right away. Thanks!

[Deaden]

 

Hmmmm... maybe you haven't got your hands on real NSI-189, or maybe it just doesn't work. Honestly, what the f*** is this bulls**t? I'm tired of useless f***ing doctors that don't do the job I pay them to do. I don't feel any pleasure from life whatsoever 24/7 and nobody has a solution?? Shouldn't it be a priority for mental health professionals to find answers for our condition?? Like wtf??? When I go see a psychiatrist they prescribe me SSRIs say I'm just anxious when as a matter of fact I feel way less anxiety than I used to. I also read everywhere that SSRIs make it worse, or can even cause anhedonia for some. Unforgivable, I don't care if you're the doctor, I am not going to take s*** that is only going to make my condition worse, and if you don't want to listen to what I have to say, then you don't even deserve to live. I'm so frustrated, so f***ing frustrated.

 

I'm in a similar condition. I have Asperger's, it's a very complex neurological disorder that few people properly understand, an autism spectrum disorder that doesn't affect intelligence (Tested as gifted in first grade with a 130+IQ range despite really poor life circumstances), and severe anxiety and depression tend to come along with it. The life outcomes are incredibly poor, among the worst for developmental disorders. To take the worst example, the rate of suicidal thoughts is 10x the normal population, even higher than psychosis (think about what that implies), the comorbidity with depression and anxiety is about 65%, few marry and among those that do up to 80% may end in divorce (It's a terrible disorder for relationships), and marriage/a life partner has been found to account for about 19% of happiness in life, the strongest factor, along with a multitude of other benefits, the unemployment rate may be around 80%,  about half of adults with it report having zero friends (This has one of the worst effects on humans, there's a good book and paper I found related to this. Controlling for confounding variables the effect on mortality is worse than smoking and obesity combined, amazingly), and the worst one is, the life expectancy is 12 years shorter than the general population and it's because the rate of suicide is so high. Even among children and teens the rate of suicide has been found to be 10-20x the normal rate. And there's also a high risk of epilepsy, and it may be possible the risk of neurodegenerative disorders may be considerably higher later in life (post mortem studies have found considerably more damage to certain parts of the brain.)

 

I've probably been dysthymic ever since I was a child, depressed since I was a teenager, 5 years ago I qualified for severe depression, 3 years ago I had a mental breakdown due to countless issues that overwhelmed me and being worn down over the years, particularly since I was completely isolated at that point. I've been in a cycle of suicidal depression since then.

 

I also have severe anhedonia and blunted affect, a limited range and intensity of emotions. I've barely felt happy these past 5 years, and even when i do it's fleeting and shallow. I'm probably in the bottom percentile in terms of the cumulative amount of happiness and pleasure I've felt. It's like an inability to find any meaning and fulfillment in life, to feel any connection to the world around you and people, and in my entire life it feels there's been a complete lack of meaningful human experiences and an inability to find anyone I can relate to.

 

It's my burden to bear and I'm going to have to deal with it for the rest of my life. Unfortunately i didn't have a good home life, schools, was a late diagnosis, and never received any therapy for it just due to sheer incompetence. Some people fall through the cracks. My level of intelligence probably masked it, even though my behaviors were completely outside the range of normal human behavior and it should have been obvious.

 

I've done an enormous amount of research and the one drug I would recommend is Nardil/Phenelzine: www.psychotropical.com/anti-depressants/maois

 

It can be difficult to get prescribed, and I had a lot of bad experiences too, which is why I tried to go it alone and wanted to get it synthesized, but unfortunately the process seems to have some really problematic aspects. I'm going to meet a psychiatrist soon and try to get a prescription as soon as possible. I managed to get it once before, but was taken off it without any tapering about a year ago for an incredibly stupid reason, which ended up in my symptoms reaching their worst point, giving up hope on psychiatrists, and eventually ending in me voluntarily checking myself into the ER about a week ago.

 

There's a lot of information about it on https://www.socialanxietysupport.com , a google boolean search works best for finding info on it, and there are a lot of tips on how to best use it and maximize your chances of gaining a prescription. I recall someone linking me to or finding a site where patients rate their satisfaction with antidepressants and Nardil was #1, with Parnate being #2, another MAOI that's better for people without anxiety, but who need more stimulation and have responded well to stimulants, if they've tried them, in the past.

 

I really wish more people knew about this and the perception of the risks wasn't so inaccurate. They should be used far more often than they currently are. It could have saved countless lives. I don't feel well enough to do so at this point and it will take a long time to recover, there are a lot of appointments I need to set, along with a neurologist, but someone should really start planning a group buy for this and try to find a lab to synthesize it.

 

Check out some of the user experiences here, there are countless people who describe it as a miracle drug, life saving, like it turned them into a new person, who they always wanted to be, and for many there seems to be this interesting threshold effect like flicking a switch, where once you reach the optimal dosage one day you just wake up and feel completely different, no matter how bad you were before: https://www.google.c...port.com nardil

 

There is hope, but you may have to keep trying and changing psychiatrists until you find the one that's right for you. They are out there, even if it takes time. Don't make the mistake of getting discouraged like I did, I almost killed myself because of it.

 

Yeah, I know what Aspergher's is. I learned about it in my psychology class and from reading articles about this disorder. Reason being is that I have absolutely no sense of time, all memories feel the same, and some people with AS report having dyschronometria as well. Although I never understood how miserable it could be to live with it... All I've been taught is that it is very hard to socialize with AS.

 

Thank you very much for informing me about Nardil and Phenelzine. I do remember someone mentioning MAOI's so I already had taken a look at psychotropical.com a while ago, but just shortly and only got to read about his critic of SSRIs. Just reading about it for 15mins, It does seem as it is very effective for some people, and I know of very few drugs working for anhedonia. So that's great, I will give it a test after NSI-189 in case it isn't potent. NSI-189 is the first medicine I'm going to try with actual hope of it working.

 

I would do anything to feel emotions or pleasure from life again, to feel euphoric on music... I've had this for a year and I feel like I've always been like that (even though not at all), I'm sure my lack of sense of time is contributing in that. I forgot how much different life can be like. I've been with four different girlfriends since this started, with low libido and without actually feeling love for them just to socialize in the hope of it helping my condition. It didn't cure me but it did help in lessen the obsession on my mental health. I found obsessing less about it improves my mood. I became so good at faking my relations, I always end up breaking up because of the lack of emotional connection I feel. I will get some affection when I am in a good numbed mood, but it is really insignificant. On a scale from 0 to 10 in order of increasing intensity, my ability to feel joy/sadness is at a 0, and my pleasure from socializing or activities is at like a 2. I am not depressed, I am just numb. I will never kill myself because I believe death is the worst faith of all, but I understand why someone would with this. There has been so many days where I feel life shit and can't do anything about it, but I never give up, even I am just a shell of who I was. I believe depression and anhedonia are too separate conditions that often co-occur because one can cause the other, but to not confound with "less pleasure or emotions" that some with depression describe, anhedonia is 24/7 inability to feel whatsoever. I've had true depression 3years ago but with dyschronometria I feel completely disconnected from any of my memories even though I remember them. So I just know it sucked, and is very different to what I have now. I'm sure it must be worse to live with depression and anhedonia at the same time but I wonder if the emotional bluntness is helping for the sadness depression if you know what I mean... 

 

If NSI-189 doesn't work, I will print some papers and show my research to the psychiatrist in the hope of getting Nardil. I suggest you do the same. I gave up on the hope of finding a mental health professional that knows better about my condition than I do. I did succeed in convincing one in prescribing me Wellbutrin in the past though. He was smart enough to not let his ego get in the way of my treatment, his wife worked as a neurologist at UCSD and attended Harvard University so I probably got lucky with that. He is full now...

 

Good luck with your personality disorder, you have higher intelligence than 98% of the population and that is something you can love yourself for. You are intellectually superior and nothing can take that away from you. You know what is the worst of society? Mean people? No, it is the stupid ones #doctors that give bullshit explanations after a 10min interview like: "Oh you just need to exercise and be happier", or "you're just anxious/depressed, take this SSRI". Mediocrity is boring, meaningless. I've heard people with Asperghers can be very passionate in what they like, and be the best at what they do. That's a good thing, anhedonia might be taking that aspect away from you, or maybe not. If so, just a random suggestion... find a productive passion like day trading and become good at it? You could make a lot of money if you aren't too bad at math and don't go head in just after a few months of learning on the internet. Anyway, thanks and hang in there. 

[Deaden]

 

Suicide victims were found to have an overabundance of Transglutimate 2 in the brain. Besides Pantesin, does anyone know of anything which lowers this?

 

I had never even seen it mentioned before you brought it up. A quick search brought up some pertinent articles: 

 

Transglutaminase 2 overexpression induces depressive-like behavior and impaired TrkB signaling in mice

https://www.ncbi.nlm...les/PMC5348279/

 

Chronic stress increases level of a protein that decreases availability of mood-regulating chemical

https://www.scienced...60913134017.htm

 

Just from a quick skim and that it seems to be triggered by chronic stress, I think I may know the answer! It's something many people here are already familiar with. Read this paper:

 

The neurobiological properties of Tianeptine (Stablon): from monoamine hypothesis to glutamatergic modulation

http://www.ncbi.nlm....?tool=pmcentrez

 

A simplified summary of what's in it that I posted about a year ago: 

 

• My summary of the second one: Tianeptine=good for brain, then 13 pages of references. Prevents and reverses negative changes caused by stress (anxiety counts) and depression. Describes the following effects: Increases/restores neuroplasticity, anxiolytic, cytoprotective (Cytoprotection is a process by which chemical compounds provide protection to cells against harmful agents), procognitive etc.
• "A modification of glutamatergic mechanisms by tianeptine may therefore be implicated in its ability to oppose the negative influence of chronic stress upon hippocampal neurogenesis, cell proliferation, and dendritic remodeling, processes profoundly disrupted in depressive states (21,44,63). The emerging pharmacological profile of tianeptine suggests that this antidepressant may serve to ‘normalize’ synaptic function, thereby allowing the chemical signal to reinstate the optimal functioning of critical circuits necessary for normal affective functioning."

About half of all people with severe depression chronically hypersecrete cortisol, which is sometimes referred to as the "stress hormone", and over time this can cause permanent (but not necessarily severe) neurological damage along with a wide variety of other effects. Ashwagandha, particularly KSM-66 IIRC, has been shown to have one of the strongest effects on this, reducing it by around 25% or a bit more IIRC. Panax ginseng may also have a strong effect.

 

Well, at least the hypermemory and hyper-systemizing aspects of Asperger's are good for something. Functioning by pure reason and working with information are just about the only things I'm really good at.

 

Personally, I've been using Tianeptine and Agmatine for almost three weeks and no noticeable effects. Maybe they were some but really did not restore my ability to feel pleasure from music or feel joy/happiness. Interestingly enough, it just made me anxious. It made me wake up two times in the middle of the night with a panic attack for absolutely no reason. I didn't have that before at all.. Maybe it takes times to work?

[jaiho]

For people who have suffered Anhedonia their whole lives and where all meds have failed, i think DBS is pretty much the answer. (Deep brain stimulation) planted at the nacc shell.

 

NSI-189 is an efficient drug but the relief is not 100%. For those of us with actual chemical imbalances where lifestyle will not allow us to return to a pre anhedonia state.

 

https://www.theguard...ion-urge-listen

 

Man develops powerful love of Johnny Cash following deep brain stimulation.

 

This seems to be the only treatment that works where drugs fail.

 

 

[Deaden]

For people who have suffered Anhedonia their whole lives and where all meds have failed, i think DBS is pretty much the answer. (Deep brain stimulation) planted at the nacc shell.

 

NSI-189 is an efficient drug but the relief is not 100%. For those of us with actual chemical imbalances where lifestyle will not allow us to return to a pre anhedonia state.

 

https://www.theguard...ion-urge-listen

 

Man develops powerful love of Johnny Cash following deep brain stimulation.

 

This seems to be the only treatment that works where drugs fail.

Yeah, I bet it's another one of those things where only one reports it working but then you look on google and other have tried it for their anhedonia with no success (not even checking) I am not paying a neurologist for something that's not going to work. If I was confident it would work then I would for sure, but no...

[jaiho]

Well considering its efficiency in the most treatment resistant patients, i think if you had no where else to turn it would be the one to go for.

It stimulates the reward center directly. There is no tolerance to electrical stimulation. The brain adapts to drugs that stimulate reward (cocaine, stimulants, even MAOIs)

Anhedonia is so hard to treat because it lowers your ability to gain pleasure, which is dopamine release. If you use drugs to attempt to raise the pleasure response, tolerance is inevitable.

 

[beefnewton]

If developing a love of Johnny Cash follows DBS, I think I prefer anhedonia.

[jaiho]

Haha. Who knows what new love you'd find yourself immersed in with DBS.

It just shows what its capable of. People with Anhedonia can't imagine loving something with any intensity.

[FuzzMunky]

Haha. Who knows what new love you'd find yourself immersed in with DBS.
It just shows what its capable of. People with Anhedonia can't imagine loving something with any intensity.

I would disagree with that about anhedonia. I sometimes get a whiff of a memory of what it was like before anhedonia. So I can imagine what it is like, without.

Anyway, what about mindfulness? I thought I read you saying you were having success with it on another forum. It was encouraging me to start. Though I am very undisciplined. But it is a lot easier and safer than sticking needles into your brain.

[beefnewton]

You know what's weird is that maybe once a year, for just an hour or so, I will experience a moment of pre-anhedonia, where I will just feel good and at peace, able to actually enjoy music.  I will try and correlate that moment to anything I did different on that day, and I've never been able to match it up to anything.  Phenibut can elicit moments like that, but even that is unreliable.  It doesn't always work.

[Mind_Paralysis]

You know what's weird is that maybe once a year, for just an hour or so, I will experience a moment of pre-anhedonia, where I will just feel good and at peace, able to actually enjoy music.  I will try and correlate that moment to anything I did different on that day, and I've never been able to match it up to anything.  Phenibut can elicit moments like that, but even that is unreliable.  It doesn't always work.

 

If Phenibut works, even for a moment, then you should probably look into what Phenibut actually does - and then from that, extrapolate and theorize on what could be wrong with your brain.

 

Now, let's see... Phenibut is like a combination of a Benzo and a Gabapentinoid, right? So, it actually affects GABA-activity in TWO different ways! Perhaps there is something wrong with your GABA-network then? Do you have anything resembling seizures as well? Could be a lead.

 

Otherwise, perhaps it's not that your GABA-activity is low, perhaps it's that your GLUTAMATE is way, waaay to high, like a roaring bull in a china-shop high! Some sort of glutamate-process which then suppresses GABA in some way - GABA and Glutamate are intimately connected, ya' see.

 

So... glutamate modulation then, perhaps? Memantine might be an idea to look into - and if you find that too weak, well, then there actually IS a step up from that - NITROmemantine is the most powerful, selective NON-competitive NMDA-antagonist ever discovered, and actually showed a lot of promise for the treatment of both Alzheimers and AUTISM - before research was scrapped.

 

Apparently it was the nitrate-part which got it scrapped, because Nitrate-drugs are known to cause mutagenic effects, and therefore notoriously hard to get approved - however, those effects are STILL rare, and not universal - not everyone that takes nitroglycerin actually gets anything even resembling cancer - far, far from it.

 

As I understand it, there is no proof in any of the animal test-results which prove any mutagenic effects - as such, it's probably not much more dangerous than regular Memantine. As such, if you end up researching glutamate-storming or identify some sort of glutamatergic irregularity in your brain, then Nitromemantine could be within a group buys arms-reach of you. = )

 

 

It should of course be noted that Nitromemantine was never researched as a treatment of anhedonia and hence there is no evidence of it being effective at treating it... : |

 

 

You could also give Ketamine a try - if you're in the U.S, it's not unreasonable to actually get it prescribed and trialled - if it ends up being too costly, then there are ways around that as well.

(ketamine affects glutamate in several ways, as both a competitive NMDA-antagonist and as a AMPA-agonist - the AMPA-agonism has been identified as the antidepressive effect, but that may not be the only relevant mechanism for a complex case such as yourself)

[beefnewton]

Wow, thank you for that.  I've not had an issue with seizures, at least as I understand them.  I'm thinking full-on, physical "locking up" or spasm type of thing... or at the very least, something I would definitely notice.  I've actually had Memantine on my list of "things to try" for a while, but I'm going to bump it to the top now.  I've also read a great number of positive anecdotes regarding Ketamine.  Typically, it wouldn't be something I would try, like micro-dosing LSD.  However, nothing else has ever worked to effect anything of permanence.

[FuzzMunky]

I had similar lapses in anhedonia when I started Lamotrigine. Which is also GABA, Glutamate related. As I ramped out the dosage though it went away. I think my brain recalibrated. I have not tried Phenibut yet.

 

The NMDA antagonism thing is why I have been trying to get a group buy for AV-101 off the ground.

 

[Deaden]

This thread is depressing... I don't want to have this for my entire life. One year was already way too much

[FuzzMunky]

This thread is depressing... I don't want to have this for my entire life. One year was already way too much

 

I think its a good time for us. There is loads of innovation in this space. Loads of new avenues of understanding.