6219 replies to this topic

[Deaden]

I wonder... if any drug works on anhedonia, shouldn't it work on libido too?? How can nsi decrease libido for some

[Giles Westwood]

Are they not one and the same. Not enjoying things you used to is what anhedonia is. Why don't you get some freebase? 10mg worked for me subl.

[Allchemy.eu]

NSI-189

A friend of mine with severe depression has used NSI-189 on a daily basis for around a month or 2. 

What is worth noting, is that even though it has helped him get from day-to-day by combating his severe case of "anhedonia", he eventually decided to stop using it because, as much as it made getting through the day "easier" he felt he was standing in place, and any time he would take a break from taking it, all of his problem would return with even greater force. He decided it is a substance that will not "solve" depression, and some deeper work on a psychological level needs to be done. For him, NSI-189 simply made life "bearable" but did not touch the foundations of his depression in any way. This is his personal account, so I cannot say for sure that what he experienced is universal. 

For me, I tried NSI-189 WITHOUT depression, and it made the day "interesting" to say the least. I felt a bit more "quirky and giggly", to me it felt like a very subtle way of "getting high". I don't suffer from depression so my experience may not be too relevant.

Cheers

Edited by Allchemy.eu, 16 May 2017 - 12:26 PM.

[Andy83]

Hey


Inviato dal mio iPhone utilizzando Tapatalk

[Deaden]

For a thousand times, anhedonia is independent of depression. Sure depressed people have reduced pleasure from life, but that is not anhedonia. Or yes anhedonia often co-occurs with depression because one might cause the other. But not necessarily. In my case, I am just numb, I don't feel bad, I don't feel good. I am numb. My mother could die or I could win at the lottery, I would still not feel anything. I used to get euphoric off of music easily, now no matter what I try, I do not feel anything. I have dated a few girls since this set in a year ago... just trying to feel something. I'm living a socially active life, and I'm doing sports even tho all of this just gives me is a fake temporary feeling of well being. Nobody I know would even think anything is wrong with me psychologically. If I tell someone, (only family or psychiatrists / therapists, I don't want to lose my friends) I have a hard time convincing them because they never heard of this condition and think I'm fine because I can still laugh or act completely normal, but inside I'm suffering. Life is not thrilling at all, it is like I'm 90 years old. I am just a shell of who I was. I keep on living off of the values I had when I wasn't anhedonic, even though it is meaningless. I'm also done with useless doctors that don't know what I have but think they do, and are to STUPID to hear me out or acknowledge that they do not know how to help me. Instead they will say, oh, you are just depressed take this SSRI or go have therapy. Fucking incompetent idiots, SSRIs make it worse so I am never trying that, and my mindset is perfectly fine. I'm just unable to feel. I want somebody to blame for this, there is always somebody to blame and right now I am doing everything I can do to cure this. So who is it??? The people that make the DSM???

I shall not suffer from this with people ignoring my suffering. Hopefully NSI-189 does something.

[Mind_Paralysis]

I wonder... if any drug works on anhedonia, shouldn't it work on libido too?? How can nsi decrease libido for some

 

NO.

 

Just like you yourself have mentioned, depression is not anhedonia, and sorry to say this, but anhedonia sure isn't the same as low libido either.

 

Consider this: there are people whom have low libido but do not have anhedonia in any way, shape or form - it's called asexuality, and is a REAL scientifically observed phenomenon - you've probably even met someone who has it, if you think about it.

 

Drive, the will to do things, has more dimensions to it than sex-drive - some people are also, for instance, naturally much, much more inclined towards WORK than they are relationships or sexuality - you probably know a work-aholic as well - those people are not asexual, in general, but they often have less motivation towards sex than they do for working their company or what-have-you. (this often causes problems with marriage and relationships)
 

And there are other examples, like people with BORDERLINE and HISTRIONIC personality disorders whom show severe anhedonia in many areas of life, but whom NEVER stop having sex! In fact, sex ends up being the LAST and ONLY thing they can get motivated or interested in doing, and hence it ends up taking over their lives - sex-addiction.

 

 

And finally... and this should be the linch-pin which you seem to have objectively completely missed, or willingly blinded yourself too... there ARE people online, and described in the litterature, whom showed clear anhedonic traits, which actually found relief, partial or almost completely, from SSRI's - even though it blunted their sex-drive, it did NOT blunt their other drives.

 

 

I understand your suffering to some extent, but I implore you - you won't find relief if you don't consider your issues from more than one angle, and learn more about models of psychology and generally more about neuroscience.

 

And lastly - don't do anything rash - I understand you're desperate, but you need to take one last moment, no matter how short, to consider what measures you're going to take.

 

 

Finally, ARIPIPRAZOLE is known to cause HYPERsexuality, as a result of partial D3-agonism - so I suggest you try that, as it also impairs anxiety, while doing so -  perhaps combine it Bupropion, which many patients help with sexual dysfunction from SSRI's, and some also generally find very activating.

 

You could also go for a potential mono-therapy option with BREXpiprazole for your issues - it has the same partial agonism as Aripiprazole, since they're closely related, but it also has OTHER effects - namely on cognition and DEPRESSION - first atypical antipsychotic approved for the treatment of anhedonia!

 

I wish you luck, and that you consider these substances before you try NSI-189, or at least in tandem with NSI.

[Deaden]

 

I wonder... if any drug works on anhedonia, shouldn't it work on libido too?? How can nsi decrease libido for some

 

NO.

 

Just like you yourself have mentioned, depression is not anhedonia, and sorry to say this, but anhedonia sure isn't the same as low libido either.

 

Consider this: there are people whom have low libido but do not have anhedonia in any way, shape or form - it's called asexuality, and is a REAL scientifically observed phenomenon - you've probably even met someone who has it, if you think about it.

 

Drive, the will to do things, has more dimensions to it than sex-drive - some people are also, for instance, naturally much, much more inclined towards WORK than they are relationships or sexuality - you probably know a work-aholic as well - those people are not asexual, in general, but they often have less motivation towards sex than they do for working their company or what-have-you. (this often causes problems with marriage and relationships)
 

And there are other examples, like people with BORDERLINE and HISTRIONIC personality disorders whom show severe anhedonia in many areas of life, but whom NEVER stop having sex! In fact, sex ends up being the LAST and ONLY thing they can get motivated or interested in doing, and hence it ends up taking over their lives - sex-addiction.

 

 

And finally... and this should be the linch-pin which you seem to have objectively completely missed, or willingly blinded yourself too... there ARE people online, and described in the litterature, whom showed clear anhedonic traits, which actually found relief, partial or almost completely, from SSRI's - even though it blunted their sex-drive, it did NOT blunt their other drives.

 

 

I understand your suffering to some extent, but I implore you - you won't find relief if you don't consider your issues from more than one angle, and learn more about models of psychology and generally more about neuroscience.

 

And lastly - don't do anything rash - I understand you're desperate, but you need to take one last moment, no matter how short, to consider what measures you're going to take.

 

 

Finally, ARIPIPRAZOLE is known to cause HYPERsexuality, as a result of partial D3-agonism - so I suggest you try that, as it also impairs anxiety, while doing so -  perhaps combine it Bupropion, which many patients help with sexual dysfunction from SSRI's, and some also generally find very activating.

 

You could also go for a potential mono-therapy option with BREXpiprazole for your issues - it has the same partial agonism as Aripiprazole, since they're closely related, but it also has OTHER effects - namely on cognition and DEPRESSION - first atypical antipsychotic approved for the treatment of anhedonia!

 

I wish you luck, and that you consider these substances before you try NSI-189, or at least in tandem with NSI.

A year ago, I wasn't anhedonic. A year ago I would listen to music and feel like I could do ANYTHING as long as I put the drive and work into it. I was motivated in studying, in working out. Not only motivated, I would DO. I would enjoy sex, I was horny. Now, everything is gone you see? My love for my parents, my motivation, my sex drive, my ability to enjoy music. Anything that could give me a pleasurable response is GONE. Including crying. Not because of my mindset, there must be a big wall in the reward center in my brain or something because my ability to feel things is not NEARLY as it was just a year ago. So excuse me, but I hope you're not thinking this is a problem of my personality or I was born that way because it is straight up ignorant and I'm tired of having to deal with people that tell me that. Also don't even start thinking that because you're not the only one thinking that, that there must be a part of truth to it. Because I guarantee you not. Why do people argue about a subject they know nothing about? Go do a little bit of research, you will quickly find many anhedonics just like me that have had it for years and tried at least ten medications and 0% of them saying they got relief from anhedonia with an SSRI. Or maybe 1%. They might get relief from other type of medical drugs though, most often very temporarily. Some people actually GOT anhedonia from SSRIs, which is awful for them because then it is almost impossible to get out of this condition. In the contrary of depression, I read very few success stories. So when I read ten saying that SSRIs made their anhedonia worse in just a 30min search, I have every reason to believe that SSRIs are a lot of things but the first option for me to consider in the treatment my anhedonia. I'll read up on the drugs that you mentioned, but if it works for people with regular depression and not specifically for the people with anhedonia then forget it. It's really not the same, and maybe people aren't educated about this fact yet but they will be.

Edited by Deaden, 16 May 2017 - 09:37 PM.

[Perek]

I second to what Stinkorninjor wrote.
Low dose atypical antipsychotic is well known to be the only thing that lift up some people with anhedonia ever since Sulpride/Amisulpride came out some in France in the 80's.

Brexpiprazole/Rexulti could be the whole difference for you. Hang in there.

I wonder... if any drug works on anhedonia, shouldn't it work on libido too?? How can nsi decrease libido for some

NO.

Just like you yourself have mentioned, depression is not anhedonia, and sorry to say this, but anhedonia sure isn't the same as low libido either.

Consider this: there are people whom have low libido but do not have anhedonia in any way, shape or form - it's called asexuality, and is a REAL scientifically observed phenomenon - you've probably even met someone who has it, if you think about it.

Drive, the will to do things, has more dimensions to it than sex-drive - some people are also, for instance, naturally much, much more inclined towards WORK than they are relationships or sexuality - you probably know a work-aholic as well - those people are not asexual, in general, but they often have less motivation towards sex than they do for working their company or what-have-you. (this often causes problems with marriage and relationships)

And there are other examples, like people with BORDERLINE and HISTRIONIC personality disorders whom show severe anhedonia in many areas of life, but whom NEVER stop having sex! In fact, sex ends up being the LAST and ONLY thing they can get motivated or interested in doing, and hence it ends up taking over their lives - sex-addiction.


And finally... and this should be the linch-pin which you seem to have objectively completely missed, or willingly blinded yourself too... there ARE people online, and described in the litterature, whom showed clear anhedonic traits, which actually found relief, partial or almost completely, from SSRI's - even though it blunted their sex-drive, it did NOT blunt their other drives.


I understand your suffering to some extent, but I implore you - you won't find relief if you don't consider your issues from more than one angle, and learn more about models of psychology and generally more about neuroscience.

And lastly - don't do anything rash - I understand you're desperate, but you need to take one last moment, no matter how short, to consider what measures you're going to take.


Finally, ARIPIPRAZOLE is known to cause HYPERsexuality, as a result of partial D3-agonism - so I suggest you try that, as it also impairs anxiety, while doing so - perhaps combine it Bupropion, which many patients help with sexual dysfunction from SSRI's, and some also generally find very activating.

You could also go for a potential mono-therapy option with BREXpiprazole for your issues - it has the same partial agonism as Aripiprazole, since they're closely related, but it also has OTHER effects - namely on cognition and DEPRESSION - first atypical antipsychotic approved for the treatment of anhedonia!

I wish you luck, and that you consider these substances before you try NSI-189, or at least in tandem with NSI.

[Ark]

One thing people seem to forget about these drugs are they work in tandom with stimulation. For NSI-189 to work optimally one should be attempting to offer stimulation, reading, nature walk, socialising etc. I think this aspect, gets lost on many.

Cheers,
Ark

[Mind_Paralysis]

 

 

I wonder... if any drug works on anhedonia, shouldn't it work on libido too?? How can nsi decrease libido for some

 

NO.

 

Just like you yourself have mentioned, depression is not anhedonia, and sorry to say this, but anhedonia sure isn't the same as low libido either.

 

Consider this: there are people whom have low libido but do not have anhedonia in any way, shape or form - it's called asexuality, and is a REAL scientifically observed phenomenon - you've probably even met someone who has it, if you think about it.

 

Drive, the will to do things, has more dimensions to it than sex-drive - some people are also, for instance, naturally much, much more inclined towards WORK than they are relationships or sexuality - you probably know a work-aholic as well - those people are not asexual, in general, but they often have less motivation towards sex than they do for working their company or what-have-you. (this often causes problems with marriage and relationships)
 

And there are other examples, like people with BORDERLINE and HISTRIONIC personality disorders whom show severe anhedonia in many areas of life, but whom NEVER stop having sex! In fact, sex ends up being the LAST and ONLY thing they can get motivated or interested in doing, and hence it ends up taking over their lives - sex-addiction.

 

 

And finally... and this should be the linch-pin which you seem to have objectively completely missed, or willingly blinded yourself too... there ARE people online, and described in the litterature, whom showed clear anhedonic traits, which actually found relief, partial or almost completely, from SSRI's - even though it blunted their sex-drive, it did NOT blunt their other drives.

 

 

I understand your suffering to some extent, but I implore you - you won't find relief if you don't consider your issues from more than one angle, and learn more about models of psychology and generally more about neuroscience.

 

And lastly - don't do anything rash - I understand you're desperate, but you need to take one last moment, no matter how short, to consider what measures you're going to take.

 

 

Finally, ARIPIPRAZOLE is known to cause HYPERsexuality, as a result of partial D3-agonism - so I suggest you try that, as it also impairs anxiety, while doing so -  perhaps combine it Bupropion, which many patients help with sexual dysfunction from SSRI's, and some also generally find very activating.

 

You could also go for a potential mono-therapy option with BREXpiprazole for your issues - it has the same partial agonism as Aripiprazole, since they're closely related, but it also has OTHER effects - namely on cognition and DEPRESSION - first atypical antipsychotic approved for the treatment of anhedonia!

 

I wish you luck, and that you consider these substances before you try NSI-189, or at least in tandem with NSI.

A year ago, I wasn't anhedonic. A year ago I would listen to music and feel like I could do ANYTHING as long as I put the drive and work into it. I was motivated in studying, in working out. Not only motivated, I would DO. I would enjoy sex, I was horny. Now, everything is gone you see? My love for my parents, my motivation, my sex drive, my ability to enjoy music. Anything that could give me a pleasurable response is GONE. Including crying. Not because of my mindset, there must be a big wall in the reward center in my brain or something because my ability to feel things is not NEARLY as it was just a year ago. So excuse me, but I hope you're not thinking this is a problem of my personality or I was born that way because it is straight up ignorant and I'm tired of having to deal with people that tell me that. Also don't even start thinking that because you're not the only one thinking that, that there must be a part of truth to it. Because I guarantee you not. Why do people argue about a subject they know nothing about? Go do a little bit of research, you will quickly find many anhedonics just like me that have had it for years and tried at least ten medications and 0% of them saying they got relief from anhedonia with an SSRI. Or maybe 1%. They might get relief from other type of medical drugs though, most often very temporarily. Some people actually GOT anhedonia from SSRIs, which is awful for them because then it is almost impossible to get out of this condition. In the contrary of depression, I read very few success stories. So when I read ten saying that SSRIs made their anhedonia worse in just a 30min search, I have every reason to believe that SSRIs are a lot of things but the first option for me to consider in the treatment my anhedonia. I'll read up on the drugs that you mentioned, but if it works for people with regular depression and not specifically for the people with anhedonia then forget it. It's really not the same, and maybe people aren't educated about this fact yet but they will be.

 

 

I never did say that I believed that you were born with anhedonia, nor do I believe you're "faking it" or something - I really believe you when you say that you got it suddenly, as if stricken with a disease (anhedonia is indeed classified as a disease).

 

Read up on Bupropion, Aripiprazole and Brexpiprazole - they could be of help, at the very least with your sexual issues - they've all been known to cause such side-effects of hypersexuality in non-anhedonic patients that the persons taking them, started drifting in their orientation, becoming cross-dressers and bisexuals - they've also been known to cause intense pleasure-seeking behaviour in general - such as patients taking up compulsive gambling and gambling away every single penny they have.

 

These effects are no joke - that's why I suggested them.

 

 

And lastly, please try to remember that all brains are different - there are people who become very tired and fatigued from certain dosages of stimulants - you will find reports of ADHD-patients everywhere online, who can't take their Methylphenidate(ritalin) because it turns them into a safety-hazard - falling asleep at the wheel. There's also plenty of reports of people whom find gabaergics highly energizing and MOTIVATING - the exact opposite reaction of the mainline population.

 

With this in mind, would it at all be impossible to imagine some people finding SSRI's relieve their anhedonia? No, it would not. That doesn't mean that I disagree that some people can become anhedonic as a side-effect from them - there's a reason there are so MANY antidepressants in use, not every drug works for everyone.

[beefnewton]

FYI, I am starting to feel... something... at 80mg of oral freebase daily.

[Giles Westwood]

@beefnewton why are you not using sublingual?

[Mind_Paralysis]

FYI, I am starting to feel... something... at 80mg of oral freebase daily.

 

 

@beefnewton why are you not using sublingual?

 

Agreed. Freebase is far, far more effective when taken sublingual.

 

Consider shifting to 60 mg sublingual instead - that way, you will save money and make your supply of NSI-189 last longer.

[beefnewton]

I started out on oral phosphate and didn't want to change the route of administration.  A month of 40mg phosphate orally had no positive, side, or noticeable effect.  Since switching to 80mg of freebase orally, I have begun feeling a bit emotional.

[beefnewton]

I gotta go with what I know in this case.  I'm getting a response with 80mg of freebase orally, and I don't necessarily mind wasting it.  With another 5g, I can take it to two months, at which point I plan on taking a break.

[bbminded]

I know this is an NSI thread, but if anyone here has had experience using Cerebrolysin, I would like to hear their experience. Users of the stuff seem impossible to get a hold of. (Not such a promising sign). Hehe.

PM me if you have any Cerebrolysin experience.

Cerebrolysin experiences here a while back(atleast 2 years since last cycle).
I ran the 5on 2off for a month at 5mg a day.
Biggest thing I noticed was an immediate enhancement to my rx of adderral...to the point I had to take less then usual as the stimulation was to strong.
I felt to different degrees a heightened mood lift. Just depended on situations and also doing things to help feel the cere. working.
I would definitely not hesitate to run another experiment with it. Also look into Actovegin because if my memory serves me right it contains cere and many other benefits (I think it's what tiger woods took when he was having back problems or broken leg/ankle.i think his trainer snuck it into the country).

Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk

[Deaden]

I want to feel love again :( Please......

[Deaden]

I have anhedonia and aphantasia for a year :( Both make me feel like I am not even present, not even living...

[Mind_Paralysis]

I have anhedonia and aphantasia for a year :( Both make me feel like I am not even present, not even living...

 

What you're describing is still more similar to DP/DR - if you want to try something experimental out, then I suggest you check out the CERC-501 group buy.

Although DP/DR-sufferers have reported benefits from NSI-189, it doesn't appear to be anything dramatic - this makes sense, if DP/DR is as a matter of fact not just depression, but some form of protective state connected to the opioid networks.

 

On another note, you probably haven't tried Lamotrigine - I'd look into that - it's a mood-stabiliser, however it also has atypical antidepressant properties, related to its modulation of glutamate.
 

Edited by Stinkorninjor, 22 May 2017 - 07:52 AM.

[Deaden]

How can I have DP/DR if I have almost no anxiety..? 

[Mind_Paralysis]

How can I have DP/DR if I have almost no anxiety..? 

 

Flat affect, numbed emotions, is often a part of DP/DR - just like the non-real feelings, it's a way for your brain to overly zealously protect you from the environment.

 

You could of course also have some secondary diagnosis as well, perhaps a schizoid-spectrum disease.

 

 

Tell me, have you been evaluated by a proper, professional EXPERT in psychiatry? Someone who doesn't just practise but whom also does research, or have done research in the past?

 

If so, what is your official diagnosis(es)?
 

[Deaden]

Yeah I know.... but anhedonia isn't specific to DP/DR. And it happens that I don't have anxiety and do not feel disconnected from my body. So I don't know how I could have dissociation...or if I do have DP/DR, then how do I get out of it if I am suppose too lessen anxiety that doesn't exist...? I am not schizoid either, I have friends and a girlfriend :/ Socializing with people I like is almost the only thing that can make me feel a bit of pleasure... A year ago everything was perfectly fine, I was just like any random guy you see smiling innocently on the streets. Psychiatrists say I have depression or anxiety but I know 100% I don't. This guy summarizes how ignorant it is when doctors say anhedonia is depression:  . I can function perfectly fine and nobody can tell something is wrong with me (very different to when I had regular depression three years ago and couldn't even get out of my bed or pretend). I just became more and more numb a year ago and I don't know why.. 

[Lunast]

Yeah I know.... but anhedonia isn't specific to DP/DR. And it happens that I don't have anxiety and do not feel disconnected from my body. So I don't know how I could have dissociation...or if I do have DP/DR, then how do I get out of it if I am suppose too lessen anxiety that doesn't exist...? I am not schizoid either, I have friends and a girlfriend :/ Socializing with people I like is almost the only thing that can make me feel a bit of pleasure... A year ago everything was perfectly fine, I was just like any random guy you see smiling innocently on the streets. Psychiatrists say I have depression or anxiety but I know 100% I don't. This guy summarizes how ignorant it is when doctors say anhedonia is depression: https://www.youtube....h?v=xI2IPmr8JhA . I can function perfectly fine and nobody can tell something is wrong with me (very different to when I had regular depression three years ago and couldn't even get out of my bed or pretend). I just became more and more numb a year ago and I don't know why..

[Lunast]

Yeah I know.... but anhedonia isn't specific to DP/DR. And it happens that I don't have anxiety and do not feel disconnected from my body. So I don't know how I could have dissociation...or if I do have DP/DR, then how do I get out of it if I am suppose too lessen anxiety that doesn't exist...? I am not schizoid either, I have friends and a girlfriend :/ Socializing with people I like is almost the only thing that can make me feel a bit of pleasure... A year ago everything was perfectly fine, I was just like any random guy you see smiling innocently on the streets. Psychiatrists say I have depression or anxiety but I know 100% I don't. This guy summarizes how ignorant it is when doctors say anhedonia is depression: https://www.youtube....h?v=xI2IPmr8JhA . I can function perfectly fine and nobody can tell something is wrong with me (very different to when I had regular depression three years ago and couldn't even get out of my bed or pretend). I just became more and more numb a year ago and I don't know why..

This may sound like it's coming from left field, but how often do you have sexual intercourse/masturbate? There could possibly be damage to your endocrine system or you could be suffering from dopamine desensitization. If you've tried a slew of other things, I would suggest trying periods of abstinence. Also, I cannot tout the benefits of beginning an aerobic exercise routine enough. I have tried so many things through so many years to break down the walls of separation between my functioning mind and enjoyment of the world, and sustained cardio has been more helpful than any noot or medication. These two things are free and definitely worth trying. The abstinence should be for at least a month for a decent test. And you would have to convince your girlfriend.

Edited by Lunast, 23 May 2017 - 10:21 AM.

[Deaden]

 

Yeah I know.... but anhedonia isn't specific to DP/DR. And it happens that I don't have anxiety and do not feel disconnected from my body. So I don't know how I could have dissociation...or if I do have DP/DR, then how do I get out of it if I am suppose too lessen anxiety that doesn't exist...? I am not schizoid either, I have friends and a girlfriend :/ Socializing with people I like is almost the only thing that can make me feel a bit of pleasure... A year ago everything was perfectly fine, I was just like any random guy you see smiling innocently on the streets. Psychiatrists say I have depression or anxiety but I know 100% I don't. This guy summarizes how ignorant it is when doctors say anhedonia is depression: . I can function perfectly fine and nobody can tell something is wrong with me (very different to when I had regular depression three years ago and couldn't even get out of my bed or pretend). I just became more and more numb a year ago and I don't know why..

This may sound like it's coming from left field, but how often do you have sexual intercourse/masturbate? There could possibly be damage to your endocrine system or you could be suffering from dopamine desensitization. If you've tried a slew of other things, I would suggest trying periods of abstinence. Also, I cannot tout the benefits of beginning an aerobic exercise routine enough. I have tried so many things through so many years to break down the walls of separation between my functioning mind and enjoyment of the world, and sustained cardio has been more helpful than any noot or medication. These two things are free and definitely worth trying. The abstinence should be for at least a month for a decent test. And you would have to convince your girlfriend.

 

Hmmm left field? Could it maybe explain my memory problems too? Honestly have no idea if they set in with my anhedonia at the same time or for a different reason. Anhedonia is definitely want I want to get rid off the most though... And....before my anhedonia set in a year ago I had just realized my addiction to porn.. My first few attempts to quit failed because my libido was so high and also got psychosis from spice overdose for a few hours so don't know if that is related to my anhedonia (I barely ever did drugs). I would also drink insane amounts off energy drinks everyday and would feel euphoric on music and work out. Until I started getting exercise intolerance, still to this day I get dizzy and burning pain in spinal cord of my lower back + neck (I cracked my neck a lot but recently quit and still hurts) when exercising... The cardiologist said my heart was fine... Even when I started getting all those physical symptoms I kept working out with very low motivation for it just because I did not want to lose all my gains.. (stopped two months after physical symptoms came) Needless to say that was stressful. This semester I took a soccer class extra just for fun and do cardio but I run 30seconds and I am super short of breath, a little bit dizzy and burning pain for 2minutes. Although I still play with the pain and score half the goals most of the time I will have to lay down for a while because just standing up is too much. And yes, even with the physical pain exercise makes me feel a little bit better psychologically. Coming back to my porn addiction, when the anhedonia set in my libido went way down as well. I know some people on Nofap/reddit describe 0 libido during the flatline when trying to quit but they all talk about feeling increased pleasure from life when for me I just became numb... So now I don't masturbate anymore because it doesn't feel nearly as good and it makes me feel like shit for a week but I still still have sex with my girlfriends. I don't know... there is all those various explanations, and don't know which caused my anhedonia and so what to do. I'll do anything to feel emotions again. Also I am having all those health problems at the same time but one might not cause the other so... Did cardio really bring you back your emotions? Your ability to cry, to love? Or just a temporary fake feeling of well being?

[Lunast]

Deaden,

Cardio didn't necessarily bring back my emotions all at once, but it has certainly helped (and continues to help) repair some hippocampal atrophy that has resulted from chronic stress, anxiety, and severe depression. Being the center of memory and emotion, a healthy hippocampus is paramount for experiencing a full range of emotions. I experienced quite a bit of anhedonia for quite a long time. And man. Not only did I not experience pleasure, but not sadness or anger or anything else. I was sort of wandering around in a dissociated state as if my mind was blocking off anything else getting in, in order to protect itself from further harm.
To be quite honest, I'm still a bit fucked up. But that's why I keep running. And it keeps helping, not just in the short-term because of increased endorphins, but in the long-term because of the increased neurogenesis that sustained, aerobic exercise brings.

Not trying to be patronizing here, but remember that depression isn't necessarily feelings of sadness. But it can be feelings of emptiness and loss of pleasure in things we used to enjoy. You might not FEEL "depressed". But your physical brain could be operating in a depressed state and causing you not to enjoy things. Build that brain, my man. Feed it good things and throw out the shit.

[jaiho]

Deaden, it sounds like you're in a very deep depressed state. And i don't use the word depression as in sadness, it's a poorly termed word to describe this illness.

Personally i dont think NSI-189 is punchy enough on its own for very severe depression. You might want to look at MAOIs.

 

Edited by jaiho, 24 May 2017 - 08:21 AM.

[Deaden]

I don't know how what I have can be labeled as severe depression :/ Nobody can tell anything is wrong with me. I am going to sea world next week with my girlfriend, my best friend and his ex... I can still socialize perfectly naturally except when I laugh I get way less pleasure than I did before but I still do. I remember three years ago I had clinic regular depression for a couple months and going trough my days was a pain, acting like nothing was wrong was a pain and even when I tried hard sometimes it was still noticeable. My symptoms are just extreme numbness.. I can't feel from music, my libido is extremely low, I can't love, can't feel sadness, even food is less attractive than before. My mindset is exactly as it was a year ago when I was on top of my form, motivated for anything... I don't like the term depression at all because it undermines that I can do something about it, like just getting rid of an insecurity, moving to another country, changing mindset, doing sports... I will check your website when my finals are over but right now I will keep on my cycle of NSI-189 phosphate (started 4days ago), and see what happens. Also my psychiatrist prescribed me an MAOI already (Nardil) because I asked him to (someone told me it might help). I have it in my room but have not used it yet, trying NSI first...

[Deaden]

Deaden, it sounds like you're in a very deep depressed state. And i don't use the word depression as in sadness, it's a poorly termed word to describe this illness.

Personally i dont think NSI-189 is punchy enough on its own for very severe depression. You might want to look at MAOIs.

Wait I knew your name told me something... You wrote this comment on depressionforums.org a couple months ago talking about NSI: "There's been 100s of users, with zero reports of permanent side effects. It is entering phase 2 trials currently. Personally i've been using it since 2014 with great success. Reliable sourcing is a problem but doable with some research."

​But then I went on your profile and saw you were talking about taking other medication? It confused me... Why would you try SSRIs or other things if NSI is working for you..? Like what does "great success" imply? Could you feel emotions? Could you fall in love? Could you cry? Could you enjoy music? And now how are you doing? Can you feel? Are you talking about MAOIs without having taking those yourselves before or has it been working for you? How well? Better than NSI? Did you become tolerant to NSI? Please be specific, it matters to me.

Edited by Deaden, 24 May 2017 - 09:15 AM.

[jaiho]

NSI worked fantastic for me in 2014-2015. But i think as my anhedonia worsened it no longer could do the trick on its own.

I made that post on depression forum in 2015 i believe. Ive also been trialling it multiple times recently and it definitely helps, but just nowhere near where i want to be.

 

It's great you have Nardil on hand. If NSI doesn't do the trick, or helps to some degree, adding Nardil would be useful. Im pretty sure Strangelove combines Parnate with NSI.

 

And to your questions, at the time yes, i could feel. I did fall in love, i traveled, i felt normal. 

Now i'm following Gillman's algorithim which works best for severe Anhedonia.

Edited by jaiho, 24 May 2017 - 09:31 AM.