So I feel so silly writing this being that it's only day one of my taking 189, but I'm in such a different place mentally than I was yesterday, that I figured I post this.
I will say that I'm nearing the end of week 3 of taking 40mgs of strattera (I highly suspect I have SCT/CDD), so my mood today could be a result of the medication finally kicking in, but up until today I've been severely depressed. I've been ruminating on events and reliving horribly stupid, embarrassing and pathetic moments of my life more so than ever in the past. On top of that, I've been really down on myself for where I am in my life currently. This is an exercise in depression that compounds my usual self-deprecation about day-to-day life. It's not uncommon that I talk down to myself for long periods of time for doing something as simple as forgetting my coffee in the other room. I tend to ruminate on how faulty I am for being so forgetful... so that type of stuff. Needless to say, I'm good at at least one thing, and that's being depressed, lol.
Well, today I woke up at 3am and immediately the depressing ruminations started, and I laid in bed for about an hour before I said "F*ck it". I was waiting to see how strattera alone would help, but I was so low this morning, I didn't care about being scientific about taking the two at once. So, being in my reckless state, I took a 10mg scoop for sunifiram (that I never used) and used it to take 2 scoops of 189 orally. I should say the decision to use this scoop was after doing some research after the compounds structure and noting their similarity and visually inspecting the volume of the 5mg amounts I had of both. ***I don't recommend using this approach yourself! I do have a scale on order, currently*** After falling back to sleep and waking up around 11am, I tried to take another two scoops sublingually, but really just ended up taking it orally again. So at this point, maybe ~40gs.
At around 3pm my mood elevated significantly. A mother's day party I was going to avoid, due to my depression, I went to with a smile on my face. I was talking, joking and having a great time with family and friends. I was outside of my head, and I actually tried to depress myself on the drive over, but I really couldn't. During the party someone made a verbal jab at me, and where normally I would be hurt by it and get down, I made a joke and rolled with it and everyone responded well to my response. Nothing bothers me right now. It feels like I'm on ritalin and some sort of antidepressant.
I almost hate that I feel this way after taking this for one day, because it just screams placebo effect. I'm usually one to roll my eyes at some user reports here that are similar to the one I just wrote, because it's not quantifiable, but I'm not one to usually get excited about trying new drugs. I've done a cycle of cerebrolysin, and not once did I feel a difference. There have been other nootropics that I've tried and not once felt anything. I'm almost afraid I'm going to regret writing this all after tomorrow, lol. I guess I'll see.
So that's my report out, now I need some tips on sublingually taking 189. Is there some trick that people here use? I tried to take a piece of paper with 189 on it and applied it under my tongue. I left the paper there for ~5mins but when I took it out, there was still some 189 on the paper. Is there another, better, method I should be using that someone could help me out with? Thanks!