So a bit of background first.
I'm a 22 year old male with the Myers-Briggs type ENTJ. Although I function fairly well socially, I am frequently told that I tend not to pick up on people's emotions very well and typically focus on the meaning of words in social interaction rather than their context (for example, people saying "fine" can be a bit confusing, as people seem to say it when things aren't so "fine" too much of the time...).
I am fairly narcissistic, although not to levels diagnosable with NPD. I'm certainly above average in psychopathy, although not to levels diagnosable with ASPD (and don't get me started on the DSM, and how it doesn't differentiate between ASPD and Psychopathy...). I also some traits associated with Autism/ASD, although again not to a diagnosable degree.
Needless to say, I'm somewhat on the left hand side of the bell curve on empathy. Enough to cause me friction in social situations, despite my ability to function reasonably well.
I'd been reading over the last several months NPD, ASPD and ASD are likely related insofar as to all involving deficiencies in oxytocin production and/or oxytocin receptors. I figured that just because I didn't meet clinical criteria for any of these conditions didn't mean that some deficiency in oxytocin wasn't possibly responsible for my general emotional "coldness".
With that in mind, I decided to order some Syntocin nasal spray from unitedpharmacies.com
It arrived about a week later in a styrofoam box packed with "gel ice" coolers.
Today I tried it for the first time, and the effects were quite interesting.
The nasal spray burns a bit, but within a few seconds I feel my entire body relaxing. Sort of the same physical feeling as instantly being on a high dose of beta blockers. Mentally it instantly relieves anxiety far more powerfully than any other drugs I've tried (clonazepam, propranolol, afobazole, diphenhydramine, nicotinamide, ethanol). It also seems to exhibit entactogenic effects.
The direct effects wear off slowly to zero over about 15 minutes (as it has a half life of about 3-6 minutes in the blood), although it seems to have a much longer lasting impact on social behavior through some other mechanism. Today I found myself able to just "read" body language like I was never was able to before, and was able to "feel for" other people where I was previously more callous.
Certainly seems to fit in with early success in ongoing research for autism: http://sfari.org/new...quality-of-life