For as long as I can remember, I've felt that something is wrong with me. I'm 22 now, and what I'm feeling is somewhat difficult to put into words. It's as if I lack an inner drive and desire to be social, combined with an almost complete inability to be spontaneous. It's kind of like a light version of the negative symptoms of schizophrenia. However, I don't have any anxiety, and no major concentration difficulties.
During the last two years I've been thinking a lot and experimenting around with supplements, and I've noticed two things. The first thing is that this feeling goes away whenever I use dopaminergics. The second thing is that this feeling also disappears during hangovers the day after I've drunk a lot of alcohol (7 beers or more). The alcohol in itself makes me feel great, but strangely I feel even better while I'm hungover. I become clear-headed, I get back my desire to be social and I feel like myself in a way that is very rare for me. I often try to make the hangovers last as long a possible, simply because I enjoy it. After a lot of thinking I've come up with three possible explanations for this:
1. NMDA receptor hypoactivity. Low NMDA receptor signaling has been implicated in some forms of ADHD/ADD as well as schizophrenia. Since alcohol is an NMDA receptor antagonist, heavy alcohol consumption should upregulate NMDA signaling. I've tested this possible cause by using sarcosine (an NMDA co-agonist) and glutamine for a few days, but without improvement. If anything, I felt slightly overstimulated in a non-dopaminergic way, as well as somewhat derealized.
2. Increased NADH. Alcohol needs NAD+ for it's breakdown by alcohol dehydrogenase, and thereby produces an excess of NADH. NADH stimulates dopamine production by increasing the recycling of BH4, a cofactor for tyrosine hydroxylase. I've tried a NADH supplement, 10 mg a day for a few days, but without any effect.
3. Excess acetylcholine. Alcohol decreases acetylcholine synthesis and release, and too much acetylcholine seems to interfere with dopamine signaling. I haven't tested this one yet as I'm not sure how to do it. Ideas?
These are the supplements I've tried so far without effect: Zinc, manganese, vitamin D, vitamin C, vitamin A, NADH, fish oil, sarcosine, glutamine, magnesium, ALCAR, CDP-choline (makes me depressed sometimes, but not always), phosphatidylcholine, B complex, inositol, curcumin, MSM, SAMe (gives me a very uncomfortable feeling), caffeine (should give me a boost but it doesn't).
And these are supplements that have a subtle or limited effect: Uridine (worked amazingly well for two weeks, and then it stopped working - during this time I felt like myself for the first time for months), green tea extract (possibly a subtle effect), quercetin (subtle effect), CILTEP, tyrosine (works great, but I build tolerance quickly), dl-phenylalanine (tolerance), n-acetyl tyrosine (tolerance), phosphatidylserine (does nothing in itself, but combined with caffeine it gives me a boost for 30 minutes or so), grape seed extract (had an effect for a while, but then stopped working - not sure why it had an effect in the first place).
The best thing I've tried so far is uridine+fish oil, but the effects only lasted for two weeks. Selegiline in small doses (1.25 mg or less) works ok, but gives me a very flat mood and slight derealization that lasts a few hours to a day. Not worth it.
I'm not sure how to figure this out or what to try next. Any ideas? Is there any safe way to lower acetylcholine that doesn't require a prescription?