8 replies to this topic

[shedang]

Hey everybody, I am a 22 year old male who has been abusing adderall for 3 months. I have been using adderall at high dosages from 60-120mg once a week for 3 months. I have been getting paranoid that I cannot feel normal pleasure as much anymore and that I have looked like I've aged a lot faster than I normally have. I went through a depressed state about 9 months ago after a breakup and I didn't feel happiness for the 6 months before I started the adderall either, so I'm not sure if it is still the depression causing emotional numbness or the adderall. Ever since I started my once a week binge, I have also been supplementing to try and counter any neurotoxic or detrimental effects. i take; magnesium, zinc, ALA/ALCAR, piracetam, cdp choline, fish oil, l-theanine, and have been prescribed wellbutrin. I still have been running about 30-40 miles a month to stay aerobically active and keep my natural anti-oxidant system healthy. I'm worried that I have made myself look years older in a matter of months. But my biggest fear is that I have PERMANENTLY caused myself to feel numb to real pleasure due to down regulating my dopamine receptors. How valid are my concerns? Is it just fear and anxiety causing me to worry? I'm really going crazy just sitting here with guilt and anxiety about myself. I am still a college student and have been as sharp as ever, but my social life has been shit and I am worried I will never be able to feel clear and happy again. But then again, for months before I started the adderall after my breakup, I was worse than I am now. More depressed and more numb. Can anyone help me out?

[chemicalambrosia]

Many people have abused drugs 100 fold over what you have done and recovered, or continued to use and remain fairly functional. Look at this blue light thread, there are people there abusing in a day what you did in a week: http://www.bluelight...l-Neurotoxicity Cut out the drug abuse, get healthy, deal with your depression, and realize that it might be especially tough for a while, but it will get much better. You almost certainly haven't done any noticeable permanent damage, so stop worrying about it and start doing things to deal with your other problems instead of binging on drugs to forget them. Stay positive, don't worry, you'll be fine.

[TheBatman]

No you haven't, you will be fine. I think the best way to recover from adderall abuse is 1. good friends - they will help you through the hard times more than any pill would. 2. NMDA receptor antagonists to stabilize your glutamate levels. 4. counselling, if you can afford it 5. and here's the most important part - you need to start dating other girls and try to move on. FTLOG I know how hard it can be..... but you'll eventually be able to smile again

[OpaqueMind]

To echo these guys above, you will heal and you will be back to normal with time. And given the short duration and sparsity of your use, it won't take long. For comparison, I went through the same thing, except I used a wide variety of drugs every single day for 4 years, and had been using drugs for 3 years before that. Drugs just compound emotional problems, while numbing you enough so that you don't care enough to actually fix your life. Losing a lover sucks balls, I know this feeling too. A key thing, for both moving on with your life and healing what little damage you've done, is to throw yourself into doing something you love. Love a sport? Give it your all. Love studying? Study everyday. Something you're passionate about - find it and do it. I disagree with Batman (never thought I'd say that haha) about dating other girls straight away. You can't both depend on others for emotional support and live a fulfilled existence - the shadow of loss will loom large over any relationship, since you use it to fulfil a key piece of your ego, and ultimately destroy it. True happiness comes from within. I recommend learning how to meditate to allow you greater control over your mind and emotions. It also helps greatly with stopping drug use, if you feel you are even slightly addicted. For a brief summary of how to meditate check out this thread I made (shameless plug:)).

[Tom_]

No, you will be fine - provided you take control of the depressive disorder and stop abusing the amphetamines (although it isn't serious abuse it can easily escalate).

[nowayout]

The Wellbutrin can cause numbed affect. Perhaps also the piracetam.

[nupi]

Treat the depression - the adderal is unlikely to have had any sustained impact.

[mrd1]

Your probably depressed and depressed people self medicate I agree get treated and not only will your depression go away but so will the abusing adderall. I did drugs till I got on the proper medication. And, id relax it takes like 2-3 grams at one time to really mess things up. If you caused any damage from that once a week than I think me and the many people here are all F*** I took what you take for years ontop of like endless other stuff. Your brain is a amazing thing. Just let it do its thing.

[3AlarmLampscooter]

You should really check out the amphetamine neurotoxicity reduction threads on a certain famous recreational drug forum, they provide the largest wealth of info on harm reduction for amphetamines I've seen in one place.