Hi there, I'm new here, I'm not very big on introductions so I did make a thread, I apologize for that.
I come to your forum because after a lot of lurking about nootropics and general brain health I realized that you're definitly a smart bunch.
Let me proceed..
As a kid, well, a dumb teenager. I began abusing sleep medicine. Diphenhydramine or by its more common name, Benadryl. We will refer to it as DPH from here on out.
Benadryl had definitly ruined my life the very first time I ever took it to get high, I just didn't know it yet.
I don't know how it started, it just did. I won't get into alot of the drug abusing details, because that's definitly not why I'm here.
It made me cut off ties with my family pretty much completely, it pretty much made me antisocial to the core, i lacked motivation I didn't want to do anything, I was and still am a piece of shit around people (this is years later) My brother thinks it's this as well. because when I began heavily abusing it I changed. I remember him coming into my room and crying and telling me that i need to stop doing it because it's ruining the brotherly relationship between us.
I became a hermit and I never talked to my mom for more than maybe a few minutes a day.I just stayed in my room all the time.
I have read about DPH and it's antichollinergic effects on people. It blocks your acetylcholine receptors, basically shutting your brain off. You can't think. ( Which I really couldn't on DPH, i couldn't do anything. I could only sit there.)
I was taking an excess of >400mg every day or atleast a few times a week for nearly a YEAR on and off. It ruined me.. Fastfoward to present times.
I have terrible terrible memory problems, I can't interact with people very well when I want to. Sometimes I can be listening to every word you say and every instruction you give, I can walk away and forget about it. This pisses me off to no end, I constantly lose stuff.I forget how to do things that I recently learned and need to go back and learn it again, especially at work..
I'm sorry for rambling on, I'm just depressed.
I would like to add that I have dosed 2g of phenylpiracetam, but not all at once of course. I was taking it in the 300-400mg range.
I had absolutley no effects from the P-Piracetam. This makes me further believe that my acetylcholine receptors are low. I contacted liftmode and they said that I try choline.
I did not try it, however i just learned recently that I have Soy Lecithin which has a good amount of choline in it. I have decided to start taking this. I only wish that I had more piracetam to prove if my theory is correct that my acetylcholine receptors are low and perhaps choline would fix this for me and I can be a normal person who can focus on tasks and get them quickly and efficiently, set goals and complete them instead of being such a douchebag to everyone around me and be a complete ingrate. I just always feel socially withdrawed.