Yeah, I've known that for quite a while that urge, desire, drive are all related to the reward system in the brain, if you've never experienced the best then you will want it more than others who have already had sex.
However there is the flipside to that that its better to have lost than to have never to have loved at all. You get the mostly inacessible memories if you do have sex which isnt a great payoff for losing a huge chunk of your reward system. and feeling lethargic and not wanting to do anything big in your life anymore.
But there is a massive amount of depression which comes from being lonely for your entire life, which is why Nikola Tesla said:
"Sometimes I feel that by not marrying, I made too great a sacrifice to my work ..."
https://en.wikipedia...a#RelationshipsThere is a definite gamble there between choosing a life of chastity vs declaring to the world that you will never attain orgasm in a pussy and that you will instead devote your life towards work.
However I have already surpassed that point, I'm still a virgin but I've used a pocket pussy. So I've never laid with a woman but I have already lost a significant portion of my dopamine receptors which made me very productive in the past.
The only problem however with being chastised, is it almost sent me completely insane with stress and depression. Sure I was typically manically productive, but I was also in a world of pain.
I'm kinda glad I got it over with and made love with an inanimate object, it gave me a taste of what its like to fuck but it didnt give me the potential massive headfuck that women put you through after having sex with them.
But I may never attain the same high levels of desire for productivity as I once had, which is exactly what I want to attain by getting those sex drive hormones up as high as possible.
This is exactly why I hate fragile biological organisms, because they dont have a user manual, they crap out at you at the worst moments when you need them the most, you cannot reprogram or repair your brain, there is 7 billion others of them all wanting a piece of you and to make your life miserable.
And they have emotions.
But I am human, and for the period of time that I am a human being I might aswell enjoy it while I still can. Right now I'm stuck between worlds, between being chastised and being fully experienced. And that is exactly where I want to remain for the time being.
I am polyamorous, and pansexual, I am fully aware that I would not be happy with just one girl and I let women know that (to my own detriment) before anything serious happens. I sure as hell wouldnt want to live a lie and tell a girl a lie just so I can be temporarily happy right now, that would be selfish.
However due to brain damage caused by anti-psychotics I am also no longer as horny as I used to be, so I am able to control myself considerably more than the average male, and far more than what I would have been able to just 5 years ago.
~ Sensationalism:
As I said, biological systems are highly complex, we have no idea what the hell is going on, they are extremely fragile and the older you get the more damage you incurr. I will be GLAD when I can discard this body and plug my brain into a computer.
"Blowing your brains out" while having sex is a cruel and horrible fact of evolution, we are stuck in the dark ages of biology while our brains are advancing at a tremendous rate, they are being forced to live a short academic career that only lasts until you are 30 in most cases, with computers and transhumanism that period of time can be advanced significantly.
This is my goal, to ultimatley extend my academic career beyond the age of 30, and hopefully until my old age.
The ultimate goal would be to have had sex AND have had a massive academic career, disrupting the reward system is brain damage, its reinforcing the stereotype that we must accept our old age as something thats natural, yet we have made a community based around trying to live as young as possible, for as long as possible.
To me my life was perfect at the age of 16-21, I want to go back there more than anything, and I will do anything to attain infinite happyness short of cause my body and mind significant damage from drug use.
I'm not going to sugarcoat anything, we're all adults here and I havent got the time to be polite. fact of the matter is our bodies and our biological brains are failing us, isnt it about time that we started fighting back?
A massive reduction in sex drive is a marker of old age, so why are we letting it win? I was a much happier and hornier individual when I was only 25, I'm now 29 and I feel like utter crap without the sex drive from noopept, so whats changed?
4 years has passed and a massive reduction in motivation, intelligence, imagination has occured and it can all mostly be attributed to libido and a massive disruption in the reward system.
The biggest enemy to perpetually living forever is that of boredom, the fact that our biological brains are hardwired to experience something as the greatest thing on earth only once is going to end up doing us in if we cannot find a way to override it. I would consider taking a drug which forced my brain to forget every pleasurable experience in my life if one existed, because I know that would mean that I then get to experience everything over again for the first time.
Its this cyclical nature of existence which is a new thing in our society, if we are going to live forever then we will need to find a way around the linear way that we perceive time and remember experiences and replace it with either a cyclical existence where we are born, grow older, forget everything that we've learnt and get younger then start again from the beginning, or we will have to perpetually find new ways to enjoy ourselves.
The latter method however is the common reason why emperors and rulers get bored eventually, because they cannot forget all of their past experiences and start again, that is the biggest curse to longevity that I can possibly fathom.
I also hope that by becoming part computer I can expand my brain's pleasure centres to something even more pleasurable than what a human being can experience, and even possibly remove my long term memory from my skull and replace it with something that is digital, so I can then selectivley edit my past and re-attain my youthful exuberance about life, and live an infinite life of perpetual happyness and excitement.
So by waving a carrot infront of my brain I am hoping that I will attain what I've lost.
Edited by Layberinthius, 14 November 2013 - 01:00 PM.