Lion's mane is really effective for depression, but made me hypomanic. That I found out after trying uridine. Lion's mane is also good for imagination, fantasy, creativity, humor, empathy, perception of beauty, emotional emptiness, and just making your brain function better. But it did NOT ground me. I was wrong. I was feeling like the world was at my feet, but I was not on my feet. I wrote three novels in four months of which I didn't send anything to a publisher, but I want perfection. I could also go to the club and feel awesome and get and give lots of attention to woman, so that was cool, but it wasn't really healthy.
Then I tried uridine.
I really recommend people with depersonalization, derealization, schizophrenia, hppd, bipolar, to try uridine. It did a lot for me. I was so messed up that I didn't even know what problems I got. Here's what Uriidne did to me :
- It grounded me. (I know that I said the same for lion's mane. That put me in the moment, but that's something different.) 'm back on earth and no longer have the univseral sence of being but also more the feeling that i'm on earth.
- It made my vision better and my world more 3dimensional. When I watch things, I now can look at two places instead of one. Like one eye (probably brain half ) is working again.
Example : I watched porn the other day and could see the 'making love (it was very romantic)' as a whole thing and not just focus on some body parts.
- Social pressing: gonne. I don't even know if I had 'social anxiety', but ever since I dissociated in my 20's, when a person would come near to me, my body would stress. I could handle it and don't care about it, but it was annoying. Now I can be around people without their presence stressing me, or feeling overly alert.
- Extreme craving for love: gone. I feel less lonely.
- I feel like my inner mathematician is back. I used to be good at mathematics, but that resided in a couple of years. It's hard to explain, but it's this side of me that really wants to get into the depts of stuff, the rational, long term, prospective,
- This might sound vague, but ever since I dissociated I felt like I lost my own energy. This is gone now.
Summary : This stuff did a lot to me. Since I probably have a lot of disorders (ADD, obsessions, some tics, (bipolar, I experienced significant mood changes throughout my life but this one i'm not sure), mild schizo/hppd , dp-dr ( and former social and general anxiety (from 14-15.5 i suffered from social anxiety ) I recommend this to people with mental disorder and with HPA dysfunction and dopamine deregulation. I think my problem have to to do something with HPA dysfunction, since my birth was troublesome, my puberty I got anxiety and in my adulthood I dissociated. Which all are important parts of live where the HPA axis plays a huge role in. I hope now I had all the three troublesome moment left behind me, I can start to recover :D.
Only disorder I've ever been dx'ed with is schizotypal. I never went to see a psychiatrist until I was in the depts of my depression, with psychotic symptoms, and terrible CFS without being able to breath without stressing me, or stand on my feet. Before my 20's from 16-20 I 'only' suffered from general anxiety disorder, tics, ADD, obsessions, but with very strong 'emotions' and ability to connect to other people. I was just different, but my main interest where people, girls and friends in particular, and emotions. I traveld to asia for 5 months, and just make lots of friends, just very into people ya know. a peoples person, that's what I used to be, a crazy one, but still. From 17-20 were the best times in my life, living la vida peoples person.
The docter who diagnosed me was very unproffesional, and I was very, very sick with CFS, and in a deep depression with psychotic symptoms. I was also badshit crazy, but I really was pissed on how things worked out for me. I would yell to a psychiatrist that I wanted medicines, and say Fuck you bitch (I'm a story teller, I thicken stories) If she didn't want to give it to me. Hehe well, they get paid right.
Now the GAD is gone, but that's mainly because I stopped giving a fuck about anything. Which is good in a way, but somethimes I wish I could back to my old anxious side with the wisdom I have now.
I really want all of my emotions back now. I'm gonna give sarcosine a try for that. I'm writing a novel on how I used to be, semi- autobiographic, and I used to be a person with a very strong connection with people around me, and it sucks that side of me has left me. I could live with dissociation, but I couldn't be happy with it, so I'm gonna strive to get out of this mess again. I mainly want my emotions and the feeling completely connected back again. I want my CFS fixed, i want the dissociation gone, fall in love with a girl, and go live somewhere nice and quiet on a tropicle isle.
peace.
Edited by tylerdurden, 23 June 2014 - 04:52 PM.