Hi, thank you to everyone who has replied so far – it means a lot to me.
I am extremely confused because my knowledge of neurochemistry is not as high as some of the people I have seen posting on this thread. I think I should first get clear in my mind what the actual problem is.
As I see it the 3 possible scenarios are:
1) Receptor downregulation – ie I still have the same number of receptor, they are just not as sensitive. (In this case why have they not upregulated themselves seeing as it has been 5 years. I thought the whole upregulation/downregulation system was there to attain homeostasis. Is it possible for receptors to be downregulated and stay ‘stuck there’? )
2) Serotonin receptors have been destroyed – leaving me with less. No regrowth has occurred.
3) Serotonin receptors have been destroyed and in 5 years my body would have regrown them but now the axons/dendrites are skewed (beaten up and bent) and don’t work properly.
Which of these 3 scenarios do you think is most likely?
Well, to start with, I would certainly stop using MDMA or any heavy stimulants for a long time. This could take nearly a decade to fix if at all.
What were you thinking, nine months of heavy use? I tried MDMA once and told myself afterward that I would not try it again any sooner than three months after my previous dosage (I still have yet to). Shit's neurotoxic, be careful.
As for the Serotonin Receptor Upregulation, I would advise instead to attempt an increase your receptor volume rather than upregulate them in their current state.
Do you take any other drugs that interact with the serotonin system, SSRIs, SNRIs, etc?
Do you smoke cigarettes? I hear that increases serotonin receptor density.
Have you taken Noopept, Piracetam, Oxiracetam, Pramiracetam, or Coluracetam?
Noopept upregulates BDNF, Coluracetam is a High Affinity Choline Uptake enhancer and Oxi/Pramiracetam have personally helped with my mood and motivation.
Try a combination of Rhodiola Rosea and Bacopa Monnieri for a few months, (they will take this long to have any effect) and do some personal experimentation with the drugs listed above. NSI-189 regrows your hippocampus, which may help as depression atrophies that part of your brain, but you will have to participate in a group buy, as it is not easily or widely synthesized.
I was only 18, young and stupid. I was also using it to 'run away' from something very distressing that was going on in my life at the time. If I could change it I would. I have been completely clean of all drugs for 5 years.
"As for the Serotonin Receptor Upregulation, I would advise instead to attempt an increase your receptor volume rather than upregulate them in their current state." - That's interesting, so you think that the problem is not enough receptors as opposed to I have enough receptors they are just down regulated? What leads you to say that? (I am very interested).
I have been on Sertraline (an SSRI) for 4 years (I was told it may upregulate my receptors). I recently stopped because I had been on it for 4 years and it has not significantly helped. Now I am off it I am free to try other things. (which I would not have been able to before.)
I used to smoke but quit recently, so yes for 5 years I would have been having nicotine and it hasn't helped.
For about 6 weeks I tried Piracetam with choline. It didn't help my depression at all (But it gave me amazingly vivid dreams - so I know it built up in my system to a decent level).
Of the 3 scenarios I listed at the start of my post - which one would be helped by increasing BDNF? Ie is there any scenario where I could increase BDNF and it would not help? What if they have already grown back 'skewed', so there's nothing for the BDNF to regrow?
I second bacopa! It is very serotonergic for me. And it seems to repair serotonin receptor levels only in those with damage ot dysregulation to said system.
Do you have any other prevalent symptoms? Ataxia, brain fog, akathisia, OCD-like symptoms, or anything?
Thank you - I have heard good things about Bacopa before. When you say it repairs receptor levels, I assume this means the amount of receptors (rather then the sensitivity of them)? Do you have any links to any studies I could read?
I have brain fog and now have a really short attention span. My main symptom is not being able to feel happy and have any motivation to do anything. I think that the depression in a way causes the brain fog/concentration issue, because it is so much effort to do anything feeling like this, even concentrate.
Also, ubiquinol or CoQ10 and melatonin are MUST HAVES for MDMA induced damage... IIRC several studies have implicated them in restoring normal neuronal and mitochondrial function specifically in MDMA/meth damage.
I am reading through the list of studies you posted (it might take me a few days to understand them because of the state I am in at the moment).
Thank you for taking the time to source them for me. While I am still trying to get my head around the studies may I ask which of the 3 scenarios I posted at the start of this post would be helped by Melatonin and Ubuquinol/CoQ10?