47 replies to this topic

[Qowpel]

Another important thing to consider. Since your personal perceptions of your appearance are already substantially at odds with the majority perception, if you did have cosmetic procedures to alter your appearance to suit your own personal perceptions, the majority of people may then also perceive the cosmetic changes differently to how you do too. Thus, I think you might be at increased risk of changing your appearance to something that whilst it may suit your own personal perceptions, the majority would view as odd or "freakish."

After having decided to try to move on from this all I still cannot. In fact I am going to be contacting board certified plastic surgeons  for consultations.... The nasolabial folds weren't the real problem the whole time, they were nd are shallow. . . It is the amount of Volume loss my face has I am going to be posting photos that are very revealing so please DO not make fun of or say I have body dysmorphic disorder. I get constantly asked if I am tired, and people misguess my age by usually 8-10 years older than I really am (especially if I am wearing no glasses...

 

 

I do not know what happened to my face. . . But it seems that I have had a considerable amount of volume loss even when I as 18.... let me show you.........I BEG that all of you take a look at these photos and be thankful every day that this did not happen to you in your early twenties...... It is a series of unprovoked comments and the reflections I see of myself. If you somehow cannot see the VERY apparent volume loss under my eyes, in the mid face, and the malar edema/cheekbone ridges ( which make it look like my cheek is sagging, then I do not know what to tell you) http://s1013.photobu...51.jpg.html?o=5  the saddest part is, that this first photo as taken over a year ago... It is even worse now............

 

By the way I Purposely take most of my photos in very flattering lighting to hide most of these imperfections and grossly early signs of aging.......

 

 http://s1013.photobu...tml?sort=6&o=35  

me at high school prom 6 years ago.

 

You can already see the hollowing under my eyes, slight malar creases emerging, and the mid face volume loss/hollows.........

 

http://s1013.photobu...tml?sort=6&o=51   (me almost a year ago... has gotten even worse)

 

http://s1013.photobu...tml?sort=6&o=53   (me over a year ago..... has gotten worse)

 

http://s1013.photobu...tml?sort=6&o=58   (me over a year ago... has gotten worse)

 

 

 

 

So there you have it. I do not have body dysmorphic disorder. I clearly show signs of aging I should honestly only BEGIN seeing at about 35 or so.... But I got the short end of the stick. I have quite deep under eye hollows, malar creses (which are not treatable), and major mid facial volume loss..............

 

I cannot tell you how often I am mistaken as not a peer to my peers, but as a strange adult who is trying to fit in by attempting to go back in time............ It is very disheartening................... I am a great social talker, I get rejected by the opposite sex so fast that I KNOW at least some of it is based on my appearance...............    

 

And WHAT am I supposed to do? Fillers? The amount of fillers I would need would equate to about $2000+ every 6-12 months..... I could NEVER afford that......... And then there is fat transfer, which is unpredictable in that it can grow and shrink at odd rates and because it is not inherently facial fat, but rather fat transfered from a place such as the abdomen or buttox, it behaves very differently... Not to mention it is not attached to the ligaments or anything............ Basically I have ery little options that I could ever afford or rely..... I already exhibit signs of aging about ten years AT least past my current age of 23 (almost 24)    keep in mind those photos are from just last year, so it is even worse now........... Guys, In all honesty, I do not know what to do. I just wanted to share with you that I did NOT have body dysmoprhic disorder...... I AND others saw these age related changes and noticed them, and even commented about them. . . It gets me VERY depressed. My twenties were over right when they started

[Heyman]

So there you have it. I do not have body dysmorphic disorder. I clearly show signs of aging I should honestly only BEGIN seeing at about 35 or so.... But I got the short end of the stick. I have quite deep under eye hollows, malar creses (which are not treatable), and major mid facial volume loss..............

 

You are blowing this WAY out of proportion. This does not look like aging, it just seems like the way you look. Some people have that kind of look as a 16 year old or even earlier, this is just the way you look. What makes you look older or less flattering to the opposite sex is mostly the following:
 

- Your style is unflattering (shirts don't fit), you got no apparent sense of fashion

- Your glasses are kind of ugly

- Those ear rings?

- Your hair style (!!!!)

- The kind of unhappy/insecure look in your eyes

- Looks like you don't lift weights / aren't fit

 

You could be an attractive dude. But the way you write here it seriously seems like you got some issues and you're having cognitive distortions. Just believe me when I say this, even if what you said about your looks were true, the intensity that you seem to care about it speaks for itself.

 

Getting fillers maybe makes your looks increase by half a point on a 10 point scale if even that. Fixing what I mentioned above will do so much more. You are not stupid. You are aware of things other people are not, but you are also unaware about many things other people are aware about.

 

You can improve your stituation tremendously without fillers. You fixate on one issue that is marginal compared to other issues. And whatever you do, buy a book on cognitive behavior therapy and do it, even if just to feel better. It is impossible to know how much it will help you before you tried it, so just trust me on this. Buy something like David Burns - Feeling Good and do the exercises for at least two months. Work on your style, your mood, lift weights, talk to girls and if you still have a problem in half a year you can go for fillers. It won't be out of desperation anymore and will be a more reasonable decision by then.

Edited by Heyman, 20 September 2015 - 02:57 AM.

[Qowpel]

 

So there you have it. I do not have body dysmorphic disorder. I clearly show signs of aging I should honestly only BEGIN seeing at about 35 or so.... But I got the short end of the stick. I have quite deep under eye hollows, malar creses (which are not treatable), and major mid facial volume loss..............

 

You are blowing this WAY out of proportion. This does not look like aging, it just seems like the way you look. Some people have that kind of look as a 16 year old or even earlier, this is just the way you look. What makes you look older or less flattering to the opposite sex is mostly the following:
 

- Your style is unflattering (shirts don't fit), you got no apparent sense of fashion

- Your glasses are kind of ugly

- Those ear rings?

- Your hair style (!!!!)

- The kind of unhappy/insecure look in your eyes

- Looks like you don't lift weights / aren't fit

 

You could be an attractive dude. But the way you write here it seriously seems like you got some issues and you're having cognitive distortions. Just believe me when I say this, even if what you said about your looks were true, the intensity that you seem to care about it speaks for itself.

 

Getting fillers maybe makes your looks increase by half a point on a 10 point scale if even that. Fixing what I mentioned above will do so much more. You are not stupid. You are aware of things other people are not, but you are also unaware about many things other people are aware about.

 

You can improve your stituation tremendously without fillers. You fixate on one issue that is marginal compared to other issues. And whatever you do, buy a book on cognitive behavior therapy and do it, even if just to feel better. It is impossible to know how much it will help you before you tried it, so just trust me on this. Buy something like David Burns - Feeling Good and do the exercises for at least two months. Work on your style, your mood, lift weights, talk to girls and if you still have a problem in half a year you can go for fillers. It won't be out of desperation anymore and will be a more reasonable decision by then.

 

I think I will do that and just follow the cognitive-based-regimen/plan you outline here. In the last few months I HAVE started lifting coincidentally which was certainly a good change. I think a big part of it though was how even my parents became concerned about it in the last year and change. Asking if I am feeling ok. Yes I still remain active in my social life as far as close friends/acquaintances go but it is and has been discouraging hearing I look tired or sick when I feel Completely energized. I also remain doing my stand up sets every week and haven't missed a day, even at times I host the local shows. It is just in the other areas of my life this has crept up and yes, it just bothered me is all man. 

 

I do appreciate your input, I know you are looking out for as with other members, I really do appreciate that. And damn.... I always liked those glasses. Oh yea and I regrew my hair out completely so my hairstyle has changed yes. (mostly because I noticed buzzing it so often was annoying and bothersome, so I decided just let it grow again). Thanks Heyman, I appreciate your input man...... Just want the #%$^ing comments to stop is all. THAT is what catches me off guard often and hurts as it is a subtle insult

[Boopy!]

I didn't even notice that the glasses were bad or anything,  I guess I don't know much about that kind of thing,  nor did I notice that the hair was bad (and I really must be dumb bc I thought you looked like a work out type!)  Not sure how tall you are.   BUT one thing for sure,  fillers won't make you look better.   You actually are a good looking guy and one extraordinarily important piece of advice that will help you if you can use it  (it is more difficult to do than just getting surgery,  believe me)  is to deal with this dysmorphic issue.   You do have it,  and I know because I have been that way my whole life and I know just how painful it is.   It's okay,  btw -- I have noticed OCD people are kinder and more empathetic a lot of the time,   since they know pain,  as well as pretty damn talented artists and high in the intelligence in certain areas.   Think about it:  to be a good artist you have to be a kind of obsessive person,  seeking for the perfect word,  stroke of the brush,  way to do things.  Because I always drew faces I got overly obsessed with my own.   No one can understand this except those who have it is how I feel,  although perhaps I am wrong.   It's frustrating to explain to many people.

 

  Men are attractive to women,  quite simply,  if they are confident.  We are so turned on by that  (and unfortunately I think height is a thing too,  not to take away from shorter guys since some go for that.)  It's that power thing  (ok yes this is just my opinion,  I know.)    Confidence is communicated through eyes and body language and voice and so many other ways.   You are good looking so I am pretty sure people are picking up on something  (and please don't turn into one of those asshole fake cocky guys,  some of us can see right through that although dumber people might not.)   If you are smart you will use it to relate to people -- and make them comfortable and happy around you.   This is a power in the world for not only attraction  but for everything.  And the best way to do that is to be comfortable with yourself  -  I know this but it's hard to DO a lot of the time.  I'm telling you now it is about that far more than any kind of NL folds,  no no no.   And I am VERY picky,  unfortunately,  and I am being honest.   I thought long and hard,  if you should do anything.   I simply don't think you should,  and I am not against plastic surgery.  But you just have to be very careful what you do and you shouldn't do anything I can think of,  in fact,  I think once you get older and your face slims down and you lose the baby fat you will be even better,  but that again might be just my opinion.   So NO to more fill!   The work out thing,  yes.   Amp up healthy stuff (healthy fats,  protein,  water,  you know -- all that stuff is on here so I won't go into detail unless you need some.)  You could totally go from somewhat unhappy (it shows a bit in your eyes) to smoking hot,  seriously.  You're lucky,  some people are ugly and HAVE to get surgery to be hot and you don't even have to -- and worst of all you don't even know it!   Isn't that always the way,  though.   If you do anything I will hunt you down and lipo out ALL your filler -- no just kidding.  Tip -- it's all in the broad shoulders.  Again,  my opinion - but apparently studies have shown that.   No woman I know ever said,  I want a guy with washboard abs.  Broad shoulders are important.   Apparently I am boringly typical in my likes.

[Boopy!]

The structure of your face itself and the short hair gives you a mature look. Don't worry about it. Almost everyone has nasolabial folds, even when they are 12 years old. They all look like that when light comes from the side. Stop freaking out, they are perfectly normal and you likely had them since you were a kid or teenager. What AGE inhibitor do you take?

Yes to the comment re NL folds.   I suppose I should care more about mine,  but I care more about cheekbone and temple area in general.  Why?   Well,  because my friend is a nurse who specializes in fillers.   She said that even five year olds have these folds (maybe she said a different age but the point is young kids have them.)   You cannot fill those and have it look right until you actually have an area to fill!   She does not think a lot of people who focus on the NL folds are seeing the whole picture of the face,  which many of us tend to do,  focus on that ONE thing without realizing that's not even the thing to focus on.   I honestly cannot stand that overfilled look Hollywood has nowadays  it is so ugly and also ages like people with too fat faces,  just google Lara Flynn Boyle.   Think about it -- the fat's  gonna fall due to gravity.   I cannot believe people ignore this fact.  I can give other examples too.  So many people who overfilled have lived to regret it.

[Brett Black]

 

Another important thing to consider. Since your personal perceptions of your appearance are already substantially at odds with the majority perception, if you did have cosmetic procedures to alter your appearance to suit your own personal perceptions, the majority of people may then also perceive the cosmetic changes differently to how you do too. Thus, I think you might be at increased risk of changing your appearance to something that whilst it may suit your own personal perceptions, the majority would view as odd or "freakish."

After having decided to try to move on from this all I still cannot. In fact I am going to be contacting board certified plastic surgeons for consultations.... The nasolabial folds weren't the real problem the whole time, they were nd are shallow. . . It is the amount of Volume loss my face has I am going to be posting photos that are very revealing so please DO not make fun of or say I have body dysmorphic disorder. I get constantly asked if I am tired, and people misguess my age by usually 8-10 years older than I really am (especially if I am wearing no glasses...

 

That sounds suspicious to me, like you may not be accurately recalling events. Honestly, how often do people (who don't know your chronological age) spontaneously tell you how old they think you are? At least with males, based on my experience, I think it would be unusual to receive (or give) such age assessments. Can you actually remember and list specific times and occurrences of people giving their guess at your age? I'm asking this because I think perhaps you may have latched onto inaccurate obsessive thoughts and recollections.
 
In any case, I have examined your latest photos, and giving my absolutely honest opinion I again see someone who appears to be in their early 20's. The lighting/angles or whatever you think are making these photos less flattering haven't changed my opinion about your apparent age.

 

For all I know, maybe there is something about you that gives others the impression of being older in person....but what I can say is that nothing in your photos or videos gives me (or apparently others on this forum) the impression that you are older than you are. So, if there was something giving an older impression it seems unlikely to be related to your visual appearance.

 

 

I cannot tell you how often I am mistaken as not a peer to my peers, but as a strange adult who is trying to fit in by attempting to go back in time............ It is very disheartening................... I am a great social talker, I get rejected by the opposite sex so fast that I KNOW at least some of it is based on my appearance...............

 

Again, I think it might be good to tell us how often you recall being mistaken for someone not in your peer group, giving specific times and dates, because I think maybe you're misrecalling.

 

I do think there is (currently) a disconnect between your perception of your visual appearance and the general consensus. You apparently changed your mind, and maybe came to the consensus view on your nasolabial folds, so maybe it's possible your view of your more general "aesthetic age" could come toward the consensus too?

 

As I noted in a previous post, I think it is very difficult (for most people) to elucidate which/why/how specific elements of facial morphology give the impression of aging. Most people probably can't even accurately and with any detail explain exactly how they can differentiate between male and female faces. They can't elucidate what makes a face average or beautiful etc. Humans have very fine-tuned facial recognition and discriminatory abilities, but for most it is very much based in intuitive abilities that do not easily reveal themselves to more analytical/descriptive modes of mind.

 

My point is that picking out particular features, like nasolabial folds or facial fat deposits and morphology is prone to be useless and even counterproductive. Overthinking such things can lead to impaired judgement. I can find people with substantial nasolabial folds who look like they are in their teens, and I can find people with chubby cheeks who look like they are in their forties or fifties. Why is this so? I don't know. At the end of the day I can just tell you that my intuition is that you look in your early twenties - I really don't know why exactly, that is just my overall picture of you.

 

Part of your issue seems to be the belief that women don't find you physically attractive. Unlike with judging male age, I'm notoriously bad at judging male attractiveness (I'm actually usually oblivious to it), and have been surprised by what women find visually attractive in men (I didn't even realize for years that Leonardo Dicaprio, George Clooney or Matt Damon were considered highly attractive by many women.) So, I won't give my opinion on your attractiveness. But Boopy seems to think you're an attractive male. Have you had a girlfriend? If not, getting a girlfriend might be helpful.

 

If you had a girlfriend you might find yourself surprised at her physical attraction to you (I still find it difficult to wrap my head around the fact that women have apparently found me physically attractive.) This could potentially boost your confidence a lot and alter your perception of yourself in a positive way and lay a good foundation.

 

As far as women are concerned, ultimately it is up to them to decide if you are attractive or not. It doesn't matter what you think of your looks anyway, it's what she thinks. And different women obviously like different looks. It's all subjective. My suggestion - try going in with the mindset of "she might find me attractive." Just leave it open, leave it as a possibility. That's accurate, it's the reality of the matter, and it can help you to stop any self-sabotaging.

 

 

Edited by Brett Black, 20 September 2015 - 07:30 AM.

[Boopy!]

You see,  when I read intelligent responses like this,  it makes me glad I found this site   rather than some silly lame site about the Real Housewives or something.   The level of care and thought that goes into responses,  compared to some other crap online.....well it is simply worlds apart.  And yes I admit I have watched and even enjoyed some Real Housewives episodes....means my IQ levels have plummeted I suppose,  oh well.

 

 It is interesting how we have come so far in the world,  in so many areas -- science,  medicine,  whatever --  yet we are truly incapable of getting beyond animal instincts that tell us what is attractive,  what is masculine vs what is feminine,  etc.   That's a good thing or not,  I don't know.   I'm glad for it in a way.  You can try to use science to determine what is officially masculine or feminine,  what is attractive or not -- and scientists do this ALL the time  (why they get funding for this is beyond me although I like looking at the studies anyway)  and so do plastic surgeons (although NOT often enough!),   but when it comes down to it,  it IS so hard to pinpoint.   Even if you dissect the "perfect"  golden rule features,  it still doesn't and cannot possibly take into account how someone moves,  walks,  VOICE  (something people forget a lot),   all those other tiny particulars that add up.   I don't think I am by any standards attractive,  yet somehow men always were attracted to me -- and trust me,  I could use a plastic surgeon's chisel imo.   

 

[Boopy!]

wh

Edited by Boopy!, 20 September 2015 - 07:02 PM.

[Qowpel]

 

 

Another important thing to consider. Since your personal perceptions of your appearance are already substantially at odds with the majority perception, if you did have cosmetic procedures to alter your appearance to suit your own personal perceptions, the majority of people may then also perceive the cosmetic changes differently to how you do too. Thus, I think you might be at increased risk of changing your appearance to something that whilst it may suit your own personal perceptions, the majority would view as odd or "freakish."

After having decided to try to move on from this all I still cannot. In fact I am going to be contacting board certified plastic surgeons for consultations.... The nasolabial folds weren't the real problem the whole time, they were nd are shallow. . . It is the amount of Volume loss my face has I am going to be posting photos that are very revealing so please DO not make fun of or say I have body dysmorphic disorder. I get constantly asked if I am tired, and people misguess my age by usually 8-10 years older than I really am (especially if I am wearing no glasses...

 

That sounds suspicious to me, like you may not be accurately recalling events. Honestly, how often do people (who don't know your chronological age) spontaneously tell you how old they think you are? At least with males, based on my experience, I think it would be unusual to receive (or give) such age assessments. Can you actually remember and list specific times and occurrences of people giving their guess at your age? I'm asking this because I think perhaps you may have latched onto inaccurate obsessive thoughts and recollections.
 
In any case, I have examined your latest photos, and giving my absolutely honest opinion I again see someone who appears to be in their early 20's. The lighting/angles or whatever you think are making these photos less flattering haven't changed my opinion about your apparent age.

 

For all I know, maybe there is something about you that gives others the impression of being older in person....but what I can say is that nothing in your photos or videos gives me (or apparently others on this forum) the impression that you are older than you are. So, if there was something giving an older impression it seems unlikely to be related to your visual appearance.

 

 

I cannot tell you how often I am mistaken as not a peer to my peers, but as a strange adult who is trying to fit in by attempting to go back in time............ It is very disheartening................... I am a great social talker, I get rejected by the opposite sex so fast that I KNOW at least some of it is based on my appearance...............

 

Again, I think it might be good to tell us how often you recall being mistaken for someone not in your peer group, giving specific times and dates, because I think maybe you're misrecalling.

 

I do think there is (currently) a disconnect between your perception of your visual appearance and the general consensus. You apparently changed your mind, and maybe came to the consensus view on your nasolabial folds, so maybe it's possible your view of your more general "aesthetic age" could come toward the consensus too?

 

As I noted in a previous post, I think it is very difficult (for most people) to elucidate which/why/how specific elements of facial morphology give the impression of aging. Most people probably can't even accurately and with any detail explain exactly how they can differentiate between male and female faces. They can't elucidate what makes a face average or beautiful etc. Humans have very fine-tuned facial recognition and discriminatory abilities, but for most it is very much based in intuitive abilities that do not easily reveal themselves to more analytical/descriptive modes of mind.

 

My point is that picking out particular features, like nasolabial folds or facial fat deposits and morphology is prone to be useless and even counterproductive. Overthinking such things can lead to impaired judgement. I can find people with substantial nasolabial folds who look like they are in their teens, and I can find people with chubby cheeks who look like they are in their forties or fifties. Why is this so? I don't know. At the end of the day I can just tell you that my intuition is that you look in your early twenties - I really don't know why exactly, that is just my overall picture of you.

 

Part of your issue seems to be the belief that women don't find you physically attractive. Unlike with judging male age, I'm notoriously bad at judging male attractiveness (I'm actually usually oblivious to it), and have been surprised by what women find visually attractive in men (I didn't even realize for years that Leonardo Dicaprio, George Clooney or Matt Damon were considered highly attractive by many women.) So, I won't give my opinion on your attractiveness. But Boopy seems to think you're an attractive male. Have you had a girlfriend? If not, getting a girlfriend might be helpful.

 

If you had a girlfriend you might find yourself surprised at her physical attraction to you (I still find it difficult to wrap my head around the fact that women have apparently found me physically attractive.) This could potentially boost your confidence a lot and alter your perception of yourself in a positive way and lay a good foundation.

 

As far as women are concerned, ultimately it is up to them to decide if you are attractive or not. It doesn't matter what you think of your looks anyway, it's what she thinks. And different women obviously like different looks. It's all subjective. My suggestion - try going in with the mindset of "she might find me attractive." Just leave it open, leave it as a possibility. That's accurate, it's the reality of the matter, and it can help you to stop any self-sabotaging.

 

 

I had a girlfriend about 5 months ago and was with her two and a half years. Nothing bad happened between us, she just had to move away for a career oportunity. We were quite happy together. She would ask me at times and flat out tell me I look sick or tired (but with a questioning and concerned manner, not to make me feel badly) Also, several social conventions I have gone to over the last few years usually had something to do with the community but for recreational groups and activities within our community. It allowed people from 18-30... Sometimes I would get into conversations with others who participated about life, career choices, college, etc. Time and time again people would ask me if I was married and I said (with a raised eyebrow) "no". I would ask why as I'd reveal

I go to college and they would say along the lines of, that they thought I was about 28 or so. That has happened a total of 3 times. Twice guessed at 28 (when I had just turned 22), and this year (I still attend) that I was 29 back on july 5th this year (I remember this one extremely clearly as it was the day after 4th of july at one of these evening get togethers. That hurts and I am not making it up.

 

Of course that makes me upset. How would it not. Not to mention my parents have asked me unprovoked if I am sick or if I have been getting sleep (my sleeping, diet patterns, glycation control, use of vitamin ce ferulic, and daily high ZnO sunscreen is religious)... So yeah it gets to me a good bit. These aren't made up. These instances in particular have been churning in my head and I absolutely can see what others saw. It is fucked up. It is one thing to obsess over it yourself. But if I am REACTING to the very same thing that Others are apparently seeing, it is another thing. Again, that is why it upsets me

Edited by Qowpel, 20 September 2015 - 08:19 PM.

[Heyman]

I go to college and they would say along the lines of, that they thought I was about 28 or so. That has happened a total of 3 times. Twice guessed at 28 (when I had just turned 22), and this year (I still attend) that I was 29 back on july 5th this year (I remember this one extremely clearly as it was the day after 4th of july at one of these evening get togethers. That hurts and I am not making it up.

 

Srsly man, stop using that ZnO sunscreen which makes you look like a ghost (at least if you go out in the evening, I'm not suggesting not using sunscreen), get a nice hair-style, continue lifting, take some beta-carotene, get some good kind of style (check e.g. lookbook.nu or GQ magazines or whatever for inspiration)  and people will think you are young. There is no real aging that makes you look old, pretty sure it is mostly factors that you can change, like your pasty skin - people will think it looks a bit sickly. But most of the issues you seem to be unaware about, I was the same kind of nerdy guy as you are now but about 10 years ago. It is a long process to change, if you truly want more input you can send me a pm. You do not have wrinkles or a lot of sun damage or any kind of 'true' aging. Some people also just look a bit older by the way their face looks, their bone structure etc.. - but this isn't really a bad thing and it doesn't mean you'll look like 40 in a few years.

Edited by Heyman, 20 September 2015 - 10:01 PM.

[platypus]

Dude, you look like a young man and looking "tired" is different from looking "old". Sleep on your back (reduces puffiness and dark circles around eyes), exfoliate your skin frequently and perhaps change your hairstyle. 

[Qowpel]

Dude, you look like a young man and looking "tired" is different from looking "old". Sleep on your back (reduces puffiness and dark circles around eyes), exfoliate your skin frequently and perhaps change your hairstyle. 

 

The dark circles are hereditary it seems. The photos you see are from a very good diet, already sleeping on my back, and using religious skin care. That is basically me at my very best. If I miss sleep (which I haven't in years as I am on a very good consistent cycle) it gets worse, but never any better than any photo here. . sucks

[platypus]

 

Dude, you look like a young man and looking "tired" is different from looking "old". Sleep on your back (reduces puffiness and dark circles around eyes), exfoliate your skin frequently and perhaps change your hairstyle. 

 

The dark circles are hereditary it seems. The photos you see are from a very good diet, already sleeping on my back, and using religious skin care. That is basically me at my very best. If I miss sleep (which I haven't in years as I am on a very good consistent cycle) it gets worse, but never any better than any photo here. . sucks

 

You look normal, relax, like the others have been saying your mind is blowing the things you're seeing way out of proportion. I can relate to that as from the age of 15 to the age of twenty I was fully convinced that my ears were really ugly - this was 90+% in my head and the anxiety my mind created about the issue was 100 times worse for my social interactions than how my ears really looked like. 

 

BTW you might benefit (also facially) from pushing your body fat percentage down a bit. Not using sugar and watching your carbs should do it.

[UniqueNewYork]

Despite what many have said here I can see your complaint. It's the loss of fat just under your cheekbones travelling down the length of the nasolabial folds. In many cases this is brought on through age because these areas tend to burn out the fat cells the quickest. Often due to stress, dehydration and poor nutrition. What you're left with is your particular set of genetics that leave you with a more hollowed, high cheekbone look. Most people would have this appearance from severe starvation but some carry this trait genetically and it comes on easily and more permanently.
Having said all that, it isn't as pronounced as you think it is or as important to attractiveness as you think it is. Put another way, a person with a round fleshy face usually wants a sharper more defined face. The grass is greener mentality. You are desiring the cuter, cuddlier look because you think it's healthier looking than the lean hungry look. You might also see why everyone's busting your chops over this. It's potato ( puttattoh ). If you don't like it well then no one can make you. Keep in mind that when a girl is ovulating, she prefers the lean angular face. When she is not she prefers the softer rounder, cuter face. Women pick the leaner hungrier look for sex is whst I'm saying. Husband material for someone as cute as the babies she'll have with you. Just a bunch of children. Maternal stuff that happens after the nest building.
Now, if you want to change your appearance your best bet is probably sculptra or voluma. This is for filling out or replacing the lost fat cells in the cheeks. On average 2-3 vials at approx $600-1000.00 a vial. You'll be hard pressed to find someone to do this procedure on someone your age but you can try. The body dysmorphic disorder is a factor in this as well. Just watch out for the Michael Jackson factor. It can lead people to see so much wrong that they can't accept and leads them to want to change everything. Good judgement takes a back seat or is done away with completely. Do not deny the psychological component here. It is a definite factor that is always present. What I mean is, you think your judgment is accurate and clear but concerning appearance it is ALWAYS off.

Edited by UniqueNewYork, 22 October 2015 - 07:25 AM.

[UniqueNewYork]

Also, to address your point about it making you appear older, it would make you appear to be someone in their late twenties as this is the age that our facial fat starts to wane. People that know you might say you look tired and such but this only is true to a point. At 30 years of age this wouldn't make you look any older. You've just jumped ahead a possible 6 or 7 years which would be a normal thing for your genetics. It doesn't necessarily age you in each successive decade the same way.

Edited by UniqueNewYork, 22 October 2015 - 07:27 AM.

[nowayout]

Depressing to be told you look 28?  Men don't generally even reach their peak attractiveness until about 35.  I think your are perhaps just mourning your childhood.  You can't look like a child (or college freshman, which is basically a child) forever.

 

Appearance may change in someone's 20s (e.g., loss of baby fat) but it is not "aging", just like going the facial and body changes of going through puberty isn't aging either.  

 

 

[nowayout]

Also, people generally wouldn't tell you that they thought you were 28 if they thought it was a bad thing. 28 is very young.  Do you think they would use that age as an insult? It's like a fourteen-year old being depressed because someone told him he looks 18.  Some 14-year olds do, but it is not a bad thing and it doesn't mean they are aging in the accelerated senility sense. 

 

As for the girlfriend telling you you looked tired when you weren't in a "caring" way, there may have been some passive aggressiveness there - I know people who do that - or maybe she is just a tiny bit pedophile (or wants a teddy bear, not a guy) and didn't like your more adult face. 

Edited by nowayout, 22 October 2015 - 10:08 AM.

[Penny]

I used to be as self critical as you are about my face and what I perceived to be major premature aging. So I can relate to what you're feeling. You are focusing and exaggerating on your flaws to a ridiculous extent. Everybody looks shitty/old in bad lighting.

I want to show you some pictures using Elle Fanning as an example. A beautiful teenage girl who undeniably has a youthful looking face




Now lets see what happens when you stick her under bad lighting or use bad angles:
 

I mean, god, look at those nasolabial lines and saggy cheeks (!) 



She is 12/13 years old in the last photo.

Do you think she needs facial fillers?

Edited by Penny, 02 November 2015 - 11:41 PM.