6 replies to this topic

[pjt311]

I'm not sure if this is the correct forum. But I currently live at home due to battling from major depression / and bipolar II (or so the doc says).

 

I'm 32 and trying to overcome this illness so I can get back to living a normal life.

 

I found out today for certain that my dad receives my texts forwarded to him via iMessage on his iPad. Who knows how long this has been

going on and I feel betrayed. I keep a journal and write my personal thoughts and true feelings in them which is on my computer. I have always suspected of being monitored which mostly is just in my head---but today he left his iPad charging while he and mom went to dinner and whenever I would receive a text. It beeped within seconds of my iPhone. I received another text. Same thing. I emailed myself. Same thing. You know the "message received tone" which leaves me to believe my email is forwarded to him as well. The text is confirmed although it could be our apple ids are somehow linked by accident---but I doubt that. I am very tech savvy and have (I think) maybe stopped it but he never leaves his ipad alone---and it's usually password protected but today it was not. I sent several texts to my own number and even those showed up on his notifications. I don't know what to do.

 

My parents are not that supportive and my dad always is worried I will post something on facebook that will hurt his career which I would never do intentionally. I am on meds and currently unable to support myself financially so I am stuck here. And now I do not even trust that

my computer is being monitored due to a trojan or remote monitoring software like his work monitors their employees (he is in a very high position of power there).

 

I feel like I have to go to coffee shops and use public wifi now. I don't know how to confront him about this and my mother knows nothing about computers/technology that she wouldn't believe me if I did. They would just probably put me on a higher dose of meds. I feel lost and trapped.

 

pjt311

[Akasirus]

It's probably a bit of a grey area. I'm guessing he pays for your phone? Otherwise how would he have access to receive a copy of your texts? If so he is well within his rights to monitor its uses. And if not, well does it really matter? What are you going to do, report him to the police while you are living in his house?

I think the only reasonable thing to do here is confront him about to make sure it wasn't just a coincidence, you aren't going to get anywhere otherwise. Were you actually able to read your texts on his iPad? Otherwise it's possible he was just getting unrelated alerts at the same time. Just tell him exactly what you found: every time you get a text his phone gets a notification too. Maybe do it with him there so he can't try to play it off if it's true. I would also change your iCloud account and e-mail password if you are concerned about it, that's really the only way for him to see your texts on his iPad as well, if you are logged into the same Messages account (other than forwarding through the carrier if he is the account holder).

[username]

The question is whether you should confront him about it or not. I think I would. Just try to explain to him why you think that way (the notifications).

 

"They would just probably put me on a higher dose of meds."

 

Nobody can just force you to take meds (only a judge and this is a rare occurrence and only used when you're totally insane - at least in my country). You are the one swallowing the pills. Never forget that

 

http://goo.gl/NFpHI8 (A great pdf on non-drug treatments)

 

 

 

Edited by longschi, 18 August 2014 - 07:15 AM.

[blood]

Easiest way to deal with the situation would be to register a new email address or new Apple ID. Choose/use a new password.

You should then turn on 2-factor authentication for you email accounts.

[PWAIN]

Do you think your dad has your best interests at heart?

[Ultravioletbllc]

That's what really matters here is your feelings on his reasoning , why would he monitor you?
If you have ever had a history of self medication or drug seeking behaviours then it all makes sense however if not and his concern is strictly for your welfare then consider this as a possible "silver lining" type explanation .........

[Steve Zissou]

You need to post more information. Do you have a history of violence? What is your diagnosis?