140 replies to this topic

[Dichotohmy]

Ok then I have some more things to say, 
a) All stimulants and stress relief agents are stretchers of homeostatic boundaries. Maximal bio-capacity comes from good blood circulation , macronutrition balance (glycogen depot) and indigenous antioxidants and morphine systems.
b) Both physical condition and behavioral (includes whole package of emotion - thought - wisdom - knowledge -habits - limiting beliefs etc ...) aptitude improves by accumulation over time. 

thus try to improve your "condition" without any stimulants and not hitting walls of stress and relaxation for example having ankle pains or hypo manic - euphoric reactions.
Non-impact exercises are best biological improvement rituals ie swimming and fitness.  %60 Repetition of max circuit calisthenics is my favorite 5 days a week 10 minutes each day. Running is bad cycling is good etc ...
All stimulants are bad because they are limiting the formation of self-stimulating thoughts and acquisition of its re-enforcing environment.

Ketogenic diet gives %35 less peak performance but it is stable and improves all unstable conditions like epileptic - bipolar - schizophrenic disorders. 
In my case my mental control and performance is very much related to my glycogen depot and blood glucose ...
If your glycogen depot is not full, (probably it is not because of concerta's stimulant effect) then vegetable starch will make wonders since its beta-glucan content populates bacteria which breaks fats into mono-fats in gut. 

If I were you I would immediately switch to ketogenic diet taking help from a professional by going in debt. Because if you risk shit to get candy and lose you things get shittier and it wont make any difference. Shit and shittier  are almost same . This will reduce the symptoms amplitude if any mental biological disorder exists.  Note that you should take a lot of supplements to take care of manganese like earth - alkaline metals. 

And build everything slowly (biology - behaviour - environment) slowly from a stable point then maybe you switch to heavy carb meals.  *** THE WORS THING is fluctuating glycogen depot from 0% to 25% this would make you a zombie for sure ... Vegetable + olive + bread combination would help a lot. My favorite vegetable is tomato and green pepper.

 

 

To be quite honest, although sugar and other low-GI carbs don't sit well with me, I don't believe I have a problem digesting or metabolizing any grains or complex-carb foods. I've gone the prolonged VLC route, though not a full ketogenic diet, and I don't really like it very much. Sure it's good for weight management, but I don't notice the purported worthwhile benefits like energy or deeper sleep. I like to cook, and so eat nearly 100% of everything I do from whole ingredients I prepare myself - sounds hipsterish, I know, but I decided a few years ago to make a commitment to cleaner eating to see if it helps me. So far, I can't say any dietary intervention I've tried has done much of anything, although I did learn how to cook pretty damn well from scratch and without recipes (which I don't have the attention span or short term memory to follow anyway), which is a valuable skill.

 

Curiously, non-impact swimming and biking can wipe my muscles out just as bad as running or weightlifting, even if it spares my joints. This tells me that yes, metabolism is a big part of the puzzle. My exercise intolerance involves intense burning, especially in large muscles like the quadriceps, deltoids, and back muscles, along with weakness, lightheadedness, and nausea. Yet inexplicably, on overall "good days," I can exercise in such a way that is more in league with my physical conditioning with a lessened load of those things I mentioned.

 

I'll admit I don't have a good attitude about finding a new doctor, and agree that one is worth the money, because what else is money worth if you can't enjoy it's potential due to ill health.

 

 

[Juangalt]

I only mention Bipolar in passing, not because I believe I have BP2, and certainly not BP1, but because I have some days that are that much better than others for no apparent reason. I agree that an integrative, multi-faceted approach is needed and anything else will fail. At the same time, supplements are nearly always a waste of money for me. Exercise is a really precarious thing as I mentioned, because it's so easy for me to overdo it and I've always recovered slowly, despite good physical conditioning from doing exercising actively for years, and since this latest crash/relapse into full-blown zombie hell, pronounced exercise intolerance is now a thing for me. I'm pretty asocial, but 100% not autistic, schizoid, or socially axious (zero anxiety really, like I mentioned). I think I avoid other people because they genuinely bore me more often than not. I also have extremely blunted emotions, so I have to fake social interaction as a rule, which I don't mind doing if it will benefit me, so give-take, altruistic relationships with other people are pretty alien to me. As I mentioned, I didn't use to be that way.

 

Somatization seems like a strange phenomena to me, in that it seems to be very based on anxiety and emotions. As an aside, I'd also say somatoform disorder is probably way over-diagnosed and over-emphasized in the medical community. I no longer have any anxiety, and my inner monologue is so emotionally neutral it's almost funny. It's like, I mentally consider my worst problems with the same emotional gravity that I would consider in choosing a brand of product at the supermarket.

 

The thing is that I do notice psychological benefits, and physical benefits from a rare night of refreshing sleep, and from some anti-inflammatory drugs. Specifically, ibuprofen can have powerful psychological and cognitive effects and really helps me be more active without that body load of zombie-like listlessness. C60 OO didn't do much for me either, and fish oil, avoiding "unhealthy" omega-6 vegetable fats don't help at all for me. I suspect REM sleep is a problem for me, in that I don't get enough of it and frequently awaken during REM. My dreams are pretty vivid and include color, the perception of time, thinking and planning, and emotion. I never have nightmares or almost never have troubling dreams - as a whole, my dreams are mundane and boring, even if they are real and life-like.   

 

Whether you have anything that could be diagnosed as BP is, in my opinion, not hugely important (though having a textbook case makes treatment easier I suppose). Sharing any symptoms with a BP disorder (and you mentioned a few) could mean that you have a sub-clinical version or a related disorder. There is so much biological, developmental and environmental variation that symptoms can present in a myriad of ways, which is what makes diagnoses in general so difficult. 

 

Your admission that you are asocial makes my hunch that your "zombie-hell" is psycho-socially driven even more interesting. If you don't mind my asking, what is it about people that bores you? On the surface, it appears that you are in the top 1% in IQ (or at least the part of IQ that I can approximate by reading your self-analysis). Are people boring to you because they don't have anything interesting to say? What is your view of the opposite sex? Do you have significant childhood trauma? Clearly you do have some interests (I'm assuming that's what's driven the desire to acquire so much knowledge). Have you considered trying to find people with similar interests and comparable intellect so that you will not be bored?

 

When my father had his last manic phase, I noticed that some of his behaviors that I had never witnessed in him before seemed to be amplified versions of behaviors I had witnessed in myself (delusions of grandeur and insomnia, for instance). I was always conscious of my tendency toward grandiosity, and my insomnia was cyclical and not as predictable, whereas his grandiosity and insomnia were completely severe and out of his control. Considering we share much of the same DNA, the connection of my symptoms to BP was obvious. 

 

One additional similarity between my father's BP and my symptoms is the length to which we go to protect our ego. He's had 3-4 severe manic/depressive cycles in his life, each precipitated by a major event in which his social status or ego was damaged. 1) Loss of high paying job 2) Divorce #1 with my mom 3) Divorce # 2. The initial reaction is the absolute inability to see anything but alpha-male perfection in himself... well pretty typical BP. Though this has never happened to me, what does happen to me when I am slighted socially, say by a woman or a clique, is that I become obsessive about self-improvement in order to "prove them wrong" or prove something to myself. But this is always accompanied by a greater than normal frequency of sleepless nights. When I'm in a happy relationship I SLEEP LIKE A BABY most of the time. Have you noticed any patterns in activity for the days in which you do have the rare restful sleep? I also noticed that I got restful sleep every time I went back home to my mother's house and slept in my childhood bed (seeing family/familiarity is comforting perhaps). In addition, I normally sleep well on vacation (fulfilling day maybe?). There are definite events/triggers that affect my variety of insomnia though it's not always predictable (I'm probably boring you by now).

 

I only mean psycho-somatic to the degree that BP causing insomnia is psycho-somatic. Insomnia, though, completely explains your lack of ability to recover from exercise and it causes so many other problems that it may be clouding your entire diagnosis.

 

But to be honest, I don't even like to look at most illness as something to be fixed by taking supplement A) or medication B). With a few exceptions, most traits have a biological purpose and are environmentally dependent. Also with few exceptions, there are no "defective" people, only people with traits best suited for certain environments. Based on this logic and barring the possibility that you have a brain tumor or a rare genetic mutation, I believe to fix this issue you need to figure out what conditions your body and mind are "asking" for. And since you seem to have eliminated so many variables but haven't found normal social interaction interesting, my advice would be (FWIW) to try various ways to create real or fake social interactions and see where that gets you. Some ideas: 1) join a club related to a topic that interest you or a club dedicated to some exercise  2) get a regular massage (physical touch absolutely makes a difference, even in the absence of emotional connection) 3)Go to a prostitute (this is assuming you're okay with it morally and dating isn't a good option for you in the short term and the pocketbook allows) 4) get regular therapy (if you aren't already and your pocketbook allows).

[Dichotohmy]

Your admission that you are asocial makes my hunch that your "zombie-hell" is psycho-socially driven even more interesting. If you don't mind my asking, what is it about people that bores you? On the surface, it appears that you are in the top 1% in IQ (or at least the part of IQ that I can approximate by reading your self-analysis). Are people boring to you because they don't have anything interesting to say? What is your view of the opposite sex? Do you have significant childhood trauma? Clearly you do have some interests (I'm assuming that's what's driven the desire to acquire so much knowledge). Have you considered trying to find people with similar interests and comparable intellect so that you will not be bored?

 

I won't deny that a lack of social support does worsen my problems, but I don't believe that lack of interpersonal relationships is a majority, or even essential contributer to those problems. I guarantee I'm not near the 1% of IQ. This is going far into the realms of psychobabble, but I don't think I have significant trauma from any stage in life. You can email or PM me if you are genuinely curious about those other questions. I appreciate psychological perspectives like this to keep me grounded, even though, as you can probably tell, I am very much of the thought that biological processes are what drives human life and consciousness and those biological processes aren't easily swayed by non-biological interventions.

 

Have you noticed any patterns in activity for the days in which you do have the rare restful sleep? I also noticed that I got restful sleep every time I went back home to my mother's house and slept in my childhood bed (seeing family/familiarity is comforting perhaps). In addition, I normally sleep well on vacation (fulfilling day maybe?). There are definite events/triggers that affect my variety of insomnia though it's not always predictable (I'm probably boring you by now).

 

I'm confident really are no patterns, rhyme, or reason for why my sleep is more restful some days than others. On the other hand, alcohol, in moderation, seems to be a causative factor sometimes. That is to say not always. Other drugs of similar mechanism aren't so encouraging. Although my sleep is quite fragmented (~5-7 awakenings each 8 hours) I very rarely have sleep onset or maintanence insomnia. Oddly enough, Its also possible for me to awaken refreshed after one of those nights of fragmented sleep. That suggests to me there's something wrong with my fundamental sleep architecture, and that a cumulative effect from transitioning between sleep stages in an uninterupted manner maybe isn't the reason?

 

Insomnia, though, completely explains your lack of ability to recover from exercise and it causes so many other problems that it may be clouding your entire diagnosis.

 

I wouldn't call insomnia an issue for me, rather, deep, refreshing sleep is what's elusive. It seems that's what drives a lot of my physical woes. I completely agree that fatigue and excessive daytime sleepiness clouds my treatment path.

 

But to be honest, I don't even like to look at most illness as something to be fixed by taking supplement A) or medication B). With a few exceptions, most traits have a biological purpose and are environmentally dependent. Also with few exceptions, there are no "defective" people, only people with traits best suited for certain environments. Based on this logic and barring the possibility that you have a brain tumor or a rare genetic mutation, I believe to fix this issue you need to figure out what conditions your body and mind are "asking" for.

 

My body and mind are asking for rejuvenation, so that I might actually acheive a level playing field and toolbox with which to fix those other issues that require intimate effort. I have clearly defined wants, goals, and that includes personal and interpersonal goals, and I want to rise above being too far gone in altered consciousness and flu-like malaise most days to work on bettering myself.

 

 

[Juangalt]

 

 

 

I won't deny that a lack of social support does worsen my problems, but I don't believe that lack of interpersonal relationships is a majority, or even essential contributer to those problems. I guarantee I'm not near the 1% of IQ. This is going far into the realms of psychobabble, but I don't think I have significant trauma from any stage in life. You can email or PM me if you are genuinely curious about those other questions. I appreciate psychological perspectives like this to keep me grounded, even though, as you can probably tell, I am very much of the thought that biological processes are what drives human life and consciousness and those biological processes aren't easily swayed by non-biological interventions.

 

I'm confident really are no patterns, rhyme, or reason for why my sleep is more restful some days than others. On the other hand, alcohol, in moderation, seems to be a causative factor sometimes. That is to say not always. Other drugs of similar mechanism aren't so encouraging. Although my sleep is quite fragmented (~5-7 awakenings each 8 hours) I very rarely have sleep onset or maintanence insomnia. Oddly enough, Its also possible for me to awaken refreshed after one of those nights of fragmented sleep. That suggests to me there's something wrong with my fundamental sleep architecture, and that a cumulative effect from transitioning between sleep stages in an uninterupted manner maybe isn't the reason?

 

I wouldn't call insomnia an issue for me, rather, deep, refreshing sleep is what's elusive. It seems that's what drives a lot of my physical woes. I completely agree that fatigue and excessive daytime sleepiness clouds my treatment path.

 

My body and mind are asking for rejuvenation, so that I might actually acheive a level playing field and toolbox with which to fix those other issues that require intimate effort. I have clearly defined wants, goals, and that includes personal and interpersonal goals, and I want to rise above being too far gone in altered consciousness and flu-like malaise most days to work on bettering myself.

 

 

I don't think it's just psychobabble to say that our experiences can shape our psychology. I'm not sure what evidence you require as proof that social inputs affect biology but it is plentiful. Look at Harry Harlow's experiments with Rhesus monkeys, particularly the surrogate mother study. Bipolar mania is often precipitated by a job loss or divorce and that causes marked biological changes. How else do you explain the correlation if not also causal? Why does the social act of sex cause oxytocin and vasopressin production? 100% biological processes? Just grieving after the death of a loved one is a social process informing a biological one. How is it that you can turn some pitbulls from the same litter into killers and puppies sharing most of the genes can later be adopted out? Studies have shown that forcing a smile can actually make us happier. Men's testosterone levels were increased while driving sports cars vs. a family sedan. What about attraction in general? Why are women attracted to male power status and not simply some biological marker of health or pheromone? What about the chemical changes in the brain related to jealousy when someone steals a mate? 

 

Though I'm not sure whether you would agree that all of the above are true or meet your definition, I think you are vastly underestimating the connection between psychology and biology. In fact, if we strip away the nomenclature, psychology is just a a part of biology, which is a part of chemistry, which is a part of physics (not that it means anything, but I was just illustrating how connected they all are). They've just titled the subjects differently for organizational purposes.

 

It is interesting that you mention alcohol as causative because it's the exact same thing with me. Even in moderation, I won't sleep correctly for at least the next week, with varying degrees of severity. At it's worst, I will feel very tired and start to fall asleep, only to wake up immediately and completely with the brief feeling that my heart is pounding, usually accompanied by the need to urinate (which quickly passes or doesn't result in much) sometimes it also causes me to think very negatively while subsequently trying to get to sleep and even to have somewhat bizarre thoughts. I don't really drink anymore so I haven't fallen into this pattern recently, but alcohol did exacerbate the problem for me.

 

Have you tried a sleep tracker that tries to approximate what level of sleep you are in, such as the Basis? I found it interesting if nothing else.

 

Stating that you need to solve the sleep problem before you can meet your other goals doesn't do any good if you need to meet your other goals in order to solve your sleep problem. I mean there might be some magic bullet out there and there may not be. But please consider my hunch as it is informed by many years of self-observation, an Anthropology degree and a lot of thought on related subjects. 

Edited by Juangalt, 15 February 2015 - 07:50 AM.

[Dichotohmy]

Perhaps psychology is a bigger factor than I'm willing to lend credence to, but still, even if it is a question of psychology driving my issues, there has to be some sort of biological mechanism through which somatization occurs. In my case, I suspect that would be inflammation. Low-grade and chronic encephalitis is endemic to a significant demographic in all kinds of mental illness. The question is, whether the immune system activates harmful microglia, inhibits benefitial astroglia, or otherwise causes feedback loops that boost pro-inflammatory cytokines, does that make such mental illness in reality an auto-immune disease? If internalized pain or other ill psychological health causes somatization, and inflammation also exists, wouldn't that be a case of the psyche attacking the body, much like auto-immunity?

 

This excellent and elucidating paper details the link between inflammatory mechanisms and mental illness

 

There might have been a recent miracle find, but as far as I understand, there is no cure for auto-immunity, and all one can do is treat it. Note, I have no idea if I have any objective markers of auto-immunity and am just describing some thoughts I've been thinking about the brain-body link. All I really have to go on is that treating inflammation, whether by better quality sleep or by anti-inflammatory drugs, does help my physical issues - and curiously, it gives me windows of feeling emotions and a connection to the world that I really want to build upon and sustain.

[FunkOdyssey]

There might have been a recent miracle find, but as far as I understand, there is no cure for auto-immunity, and all one can do is treat it.

 

Many people are successfully managing autoimmune/inflammatory disease with various lifestyle modifications as described in Sarah Ballantyne's book: http://www.amazon.co.../dp/1936608391/

[Galaxyshock]

There might have been a recent miracle find, but as far as I understand, there is no cure for auto-immunity, and all one can do is treat it. Note, I have no idea if I have any objective markers of auto-immunity and am just describing some thoughts I've been thinking about the brain-body link. All I really have to go on is that treating inflammation, whether by better quality sleep or by anti-inflammatory drugs, does help my physical issues - and curiously, it gives me windows of feeling emotions and a connection to the world that I really want to build upon and sustain.

 

Dual-extracted Reishi may be great help here as it's immunocorrecting, anti-inflammatory and in long-term significantly increases slow-wave deep sleep. Downside is that it lowers DHT, but to me it's a fair trade-off. I have chronic inflammatory autoimmune condition, in blood tests my white blood cells have always been a bit over the normal range. Also lack of quality sleep ever since I withdrew from Phenibut over two years ago, and anhedonia in varying degrees. Reishi is reversing these significantly.

[Dichotohmy]

 

There might have been a recent miracle find, but as far as I understand, there is no cure for auto-immunity, and all one can do is treat it. Note, I have no idea if I have any objective markers of auto-immunity and am just describing some thoughts I've been thinking about the brain-body link. All I really have to go on is that treating inflammation, whether by better quality sleep or by anti-inflammatory drugs, does help my physical issues - and curiously, it gives me windows of feeling emotions and a connection to the world that I really want to build upon and sustain.

 

Dual-extracted Reishi may be great help here as it's immunocorrecting, anti-inflammatory and in long-term significantly increases slow-wave deep sleep. Downside is that it lowers DHT, but to me it's a fair trade-off. I have chronic inflammatory autoimmune condition, in blood tests my white blood cells have always been a bit over the normal range. Also lack of quality sleep ever since I withdrew from Phenibut over two years ago, and anhedonia in varying degrees. Reishi is reversing these significantly.

 

 

I think I'll follow up on this recommendation as my research supports the possible efficacy of dual-extract Reishi for these sort of problems. Do you have a particular brand that works for you, or have you gotten good results from multiple brands? I have definitely read your posts throughout this forum, as well as read your anhedonia support offshoot forum, so appreciate the reply.

[Dichotohmy]

In other news,

 

I had a real rough worsening of symptoms over the last two days with no apparent trigger, besides the likely unrelated correlation of finally trying sulbutamine four days ago, and woke up this morning with cold-virus like symptoms.

 

I mean, I went through today feeling like I had a mild fever of 101 degrees, with all the sensations of being out of it with an altered fever consciousness, and that cold-virus sore throat and gravely voice, but no, my body temperature is a resolute 96.7. This is kind of interesting because I've had maybe two of these sort of episodes over the last 4 years that turned into nothing but 24-hour pains, but like I said much earlier, I haven't been legitimately "sick" with a real fever, cold, or respiratory infection for nearly 4 years.

 

Of course, I'm not making some sort of mental-gymnastic stretch to implicate trying sulbutamine as being responsible for this wierd occurence. On the contrary, I had slept pretty well on the night four days ago before I decided to try sulbutamine, and I had a good experience with this supplement on the first day. Of course, probably due to nebulous factors far beyond my control, my sleep quality has been utter shit the last 3 days and I've been returning down hill. Also, probably due to this poor sleep, sulbutamine has not prooved well for me beyond that very first day.

[Galaxyshock]

 

I think I'll follow up on this recommendation as my research supports the possible efficacy of dual-extract Reishi for these sort of problems. Do you have a particular brand that works for you, or have you gotten good results from multiple brands? I have definitely read your posts throughout this forum, as well as read your anhedonia support offshoot forum, so appreciate the reply.

 

I use bulk extract sold only locally here. But if I'd choose from products sold at iHerb, the LEF brand Reishi Extract Mushroom Complex seems good as it's dual-extracted. Or if you want the high-grade products then consider Dragon Herbs.

 

For fatigue you may want to try another medicinal mushroom - Cordyceps. It's cheaper than Reishi, I've found Doctor's Best Ultra Cordyceps very effective.

[Dichotohmy]

I am still laid up with a cold virus or flu-type thing. Maybe it's because I hadn't had so much as a cold for over 3.5 years before this, but I'm suddenly reminded how well the concept of "sickness behavior," or "sickness response," seems to summarize the problems I've described.

 

It was subsequently shown that physiological concentrations of proinflammatory cytokines that occur after infection act in the brain to induce common symptoms of sickness, such as loss of appetite, sleepiness, withdrawal from normal social activities, fever, aching joints and fatigue. This syndrome was defined as sickness behavior and is now recognized to be part of a motivational system that reorganizes the organism’s priorities to facilitate recovery from the infection.

 

It's given me a valuable perspective I think. It's like, I can tell I'm sick, and below baseline, yet at the same time, feel remarkably normal and unchanged at the same time. I understand how a healthy person might think I'm exagerating or whining when I describe zombie hell. But maybe if I simply described it as "imagine how you are when you have a cold, now imagine being like that almost all the time," maybe I'd be using terminology everyone can understand and thus doing myself a better service. 

 

 

I have some Dragon Herbs Reishi on order and after some consideration, will add that with my remaining cat's claw, along with some low-dose DXM into my regimen. It's abundantly clear to me that chronic and unregulated inflammation is the causal factor for what's wrong with me, and if anti-inflammatory drugs seems to be one of the few effective treatments I've found, modulating or suppressing the microglia and other immune mechanisms that make me sick might be even better.

 

 

 

Edited by Dichotohmy, 25 February 2015 - 04:46 PM.

[teacult]

I thought my explanation was pretty damn well. But its going over my head. It is certain that stress and some self-regulative strategies not enough for your situation. I still think you are overloaded but prove me wrong with some numbers ... 

Record your vitals every morning in same conditions right after you wake up (sys-dia-hr-Body-ph from urine). Get a full blood test. Record your diet and effort (both work and sports) and sleep duration and perceived quality. And record any stimulants you use in form of caffeine equivalency. (For example I use red hot pepper and caffeine and cold shower when I fast and I use them 900 mg caffeine eq. daily. 5 min 10 C shower 4 full cup of black tea 5 red hot chili peppers )

List recorded shit here and I assure you, someone in this forum will figure what the heck is wrong with you. 

Lets see the data... 

edit : Include weight - height - %fat - BMI  and your medical and ancestry record if available (from 23andMe like website etc ... I got mine from there) and any other relevant information with numbers. 

 

 

Edited by teacult, 25 February 2015 - 08:36 PM.

[AlexCanada]

for your yeast infection issue do you mean you avoid probiotics?  I been bit worse lately and I don't know if it's correlated with some probiotics I took a week ago.  If that is the case what else is good to avoid? 

 

I may be starting Sporanox in a few days if I can afford it. I have obvious fungal issues externally and who knows what's inside of me.

 

My symptoms are very similar to yours and very much resembling poor adrenal function.  Have you checked your testosterone levels? My cortisol was low but my testosterone super low as well. This can directly lead to having little zest for life. 

Edited by AlexCanada, 04 June 2015 - 05:51 AM.

[Dichotohmy]

Still around in zombie-ville, folks, just not much of anything new or exciting to say. At least the weather is finally warming up, which gives me a reptilian sort of inner warmth.

 

I thought my explanation was pretty damn well. But its going over my head. It is certain that stress and some self-regulative strategies not enough for your situation. I still think you are overloaded but prove me wrong with some numbers ... 

Record your vitals every morning in same conditions right after you wake up (sys-dia-hr-Body-ph from urine). Get a full blood test. Record your diet and effort (both work and sports) and sleep duration and perceived quality. And record any stimulants you use in form of caffeine equivalency. (For example I use red hot pepper and caffeine and cold shower when I fast and I use them 900 mg caffeine eq. daily. 5 min 10 C shower 4 full cup of black tea 5 red hot chili peppers )

List recorded shit here and I assure you, someone in this forum will figure what the heck is wrong with you. 

Lets see the data... 

edit : Include weight - height - %fat - BMI  and your medical and ancestry record if available (from 23andMe like website etc ... I got mine from there) and any other relevant information with numbers. 

 

Definitely overloaded with the stimulants (but no caffeine) last summer to try to force productivity, didn't really work and made me crash relatively bad. I think I'm kind of around the baseline of one year ago - maybe around a 3-4 on the functional scale instead of the solid 2 when I first made this thread. 

 

Basal (awakening) vitals are consistent:105/60, heart rate of 45, body temp of 96.5/~36 degrees, 7.5 urine pH.

 

My weight is a consistent 125-130lbs for the last few years, height is 69", my DIY caliper test suggests body fat in the low teens.

 

Got a full blood test, the remarkable things on it are a low platelete mean volume and borderline low iron (50 mcg/dl) with a highish total binding capacity (356 mcg/dl). Ferritin was 59 ng/ml. 

 

I suspected iron-deficiency anemia, but haven't improved on supplemental iron. Can't decide if it might be anemia of inflammation. I seem to feel worse on supplemental iron and iron-rich dietary foods, suggesting the latter (iron perhaps being an energy source for an infection, thus perpetuating the inflammation).

 

I'm pretty confident diet isn't a factor for me, as symptoms just don't correlate to eating healthy or eating garbage food. Chili peppers and tomatoes might induce a little bit of IBS when eaten in quantity, but that is a very minor thing and not discomforting.

 

I still haven't exercised and try to keep the physical activity to the bare minimum to get by. Physical exertion is a big trigger for symptoms, but there are a lot of possible causes for mitochondrial dysfunction so it doesn't tell me much beyond the importance of taking it easy. Sleep quality remains terrible with fragmented durations as I described in the OP. Tried some purported sleep-quality supplements, tried some more gaba-ergics, but they didn't help my sleep. Dysregulated sleep and a fucked up sleep architecture are at least 60% of the puzzle, that much I know intuitively. Oddly enough, REM boosting supplements seems to help the anhedonic symptoms a little bit, and I know I am chronically deficient in REM sleep.

 

I'm going to try Baclofen in the near future, and if that doesn't work, I'm going to put my chemistry background to good use and try GHB.

 

I'm using around 60mg/TID of caffeine, with about 2.5mg/BID of IR Ritalin.

 

for your yeast infection issue do you mean you avoid probiotics?  I been bit worse lately and I don't know if it's correlated with some probiotics I took a week ago.  If that is the case what else is good to avoid? 

 

I may be starting Sporanox in a few days if I can afford it. I have obvious fungal issues externally and who knows what's inside of me.

 

My symptoms are very similar to yours and very much resembling poor adrenal function.  Have you checked your testosterone levels? My cortisol was low but my testosterone super low as well. This can directly lead to having little zest for life. 

 

I notice no efficacy OR nocebo effects from lacobaccilus/fermented probiotics. I have a little organic garden that I eat unwashed vegetables from in the interset of trying old-fashioned soil-based diet. I also tried resistant starch with supplemental and dietary interventions, which actually correlated to a subtle sleep improvement in the short term, but more zombieness and emotional blunting after a few weeks. I consider myself pretty knowledgable on gut health and nutrition, which kind of confounds me why I don't benefit from dietary interventions at all, so I'm forced to the obvious conclusion that gut dysbiosis isn't a part of the puzzle for me right now.

 

Personally, I don't put any credence into chronic candidas if that's a hypothesis you're chasing. I have bad sebborheic dermatitis on my face, ears, and scalp that suddenly onset during antibiotic use over five years ago. Only hyrdocortisone seems to work for that, supporting what I already know: immune dysfunction and low cortisol. My testosterone is pretty high (775 ng/dl), and I have all the traits one would assume from that. I also don't have any reason to assume testosterone swings low for me, or suspect estrogen deficiency. My cortisol is verified low all around and with an inverted curve (in the basement in the mornings, slightly higher in the evening, but not enough to complicate sleep onset).

 

I can confidently say that I have a zest for life, good self esteem, realistic confidence, and I know exactly what I would do and what life goals I would chase if I got better. I don't have full-blown anhedonia like others on these forums, but definitely a reduced ability to feel pleasure and heavy emotional blunting and alexythymia. These psychological things don't even begin to approach the detriment to my life that the physical and cognitive symptoms reap, which is why I'm not enamored with the idea of devoting my limited financial and productive resources to chasing that quacking goose.  

Edited by Dichotohmy, 07 June 2015 - 08:24 PM.

[HoldingTheFaith]

Just letting you know I also suffer from unrefreshing sleep since 5 years making me very very seriously consider suicide every day and NO supplement, therapy or conventional and alternative intervention has ever helped. I have tried A LOT OF STUFF. I have freaking 1000 posts in Phoenix Rising, a CFS forum... and more elsewhere across the alternative health boards, which I abandon like longecity when the fail becomes obvious,

 

Melatonin sublingual douglas labs made me heal my sleep onsent insomnia but did not help with sleep quality at all. I want to get back to it but they fucken made it illegal in my country!! 

 

These damn illuminati poisoning everything and destroying true health-inducing things for the populace.

 

We the unrefreshed folks should stick together and try ANYTHING that one of us says helps.

Edited by HoldingTheFaith, 23 June 2015 - 08:08 PM.

[Dichotohmy]

Just letting you know I also suffer from unrefreshing sleep since 5 years making me very very seriously consider suicide every day and NO supplement, therapy or conventional and alternative intervention has ever helped. I have tried A LOT OF STUFF. I have freaking 1000 posts in Phoenix Rising, a CFS forum... and more elsewhere across the alternative health boards, which I abandon like longecity when the fail becomes obvious,

 

Hi, yeah I've read about your struggles on these forums and other places.

 

Melatonin sublingual douglas labs made me heal my sleep onsent insomnia but did not help with sleep quality at all. I want to get back to it but they fucken made it illegal in my country!!

 

Same. I don't consider sleep onset insomnia a problem for me, though.

 

We the unrefreshed folks should stick together and try ANYTHING that one of us says helps.

 

Absolutely. When you don't have anything conclusive from a polysomnogram (I don't), can't afford another polysomnogram from a more compotent lab (I can't), and otherwise sleep fine (albeit waking up 5-10 times a night and feeling no refreshment), you don't have much more than other people's anecdotes to go on.

 

 

[Dichotohmy]

I've been using Baclofen for the last week with mixed results. Not surprisingly, I'm sensitive to this med like lots of others. Just 8mg is enough to induce some serious drowsiness. The first two nights after taking this little dose, I woke up relatively refreshed, but that could just be a coincidence. I haven't really noticed a real, positive effect in sleep quality since then. Upping the dose doesn't help and in fact results in a slight hangover with apparent glutamate rebound the next day somewhat akin to alcohol withdrawal but without dysphoria. I'm surprised baclofen actually shows a glimmer of hope, unlike phenibut.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[HoldingTheFaith]

Does it mean Phenibut did not help your sleep? It´s supposedly very strong.

[Brett Black]

I've been using Baclofen for the last week with mixed results. Not surprisingly, I'm sensitive to this med like lots of others. Just 8mg is enough to induce some serious drowsiness. The first two nights after taking this little dose, I woke up relatively refreshed, but that could just be a coincidence. I haven't really noticed a real, positive effect in sleep quality since then. Upping the dose doesn't help and in fact results in a slight hangover with apparent glutamate rebound the next day somewhat akin to alcohol withdrawal but without dysphoria. I'm surprised baclofen actually shows a glimmer of hope, unlike phenibut.

 

I've seen a number of anectdotal reports suggesting rapid development of tolerance to the sleep-related effects of baclofen. Phenibut is notorious for the extreme speed and intensity of tolerance to its sleep effects too, and it is similar to baclofen chemically. I believe the FDA monograph for baclofen may advise that the sleepiness associated with baclofen is a transient side-effect (thus not being a significant barrier to chronic daytime use in its anti-spasmodic role.)

 

The general online anecdotal consensus with phenibut is to use it no more than twice per week, with some people claiming they cannot use it more than once every week or two without developing tolerance. I've also seen reports from people saying that they seem to have developed very long term if not indefinite tolerance to phenibut. Similar caveats may apply to baclofen.

 

Also, both the anecdotal reports and scientific experiments lead me to believe that your 8mg baclofen is a very small dose, with the more common range for sleep being around 20mg to 40mg (and I've seen online reports of 60mg+ for sleep.) As you mentioned though, you may be particularly sensitive to it.

 

Your daily dosing might be rapidly building tolerance, and combined with the small dose this may be seriously impeding the sleep-related effects of baclofen.

 

None of this is advice, just some hopefully helpful observations. There may be risks associated with using baclofen off-label in this manner, so I advise caution. Do keep in mind that *official* guidelines limit to a 20mg maximum single dose, and that even this dose should be gradually ramped up to.

[brainfogboy]

I am living with the exact same symptoms as you, and our height and weight match as well.

 

I have been finally diagnosed with a few things after years of suffering.  I do not believe theses are causes of my problem, but rather the symptoms that present themselves due to my problem, whatever that may be.

 

Diagnoses:

Autonomic Dysfunction with Vagal Neuropathy (Hyperadrenergic POTS subdiagnosis)

Chronic Daily Migraine

Gastroparesis

Chronic Idiopathic Constipation

Irritable Bowel Syndrome

ADHD

Bipolar

Severe Depression

Anxiety

PTSD (from military service)

 

Half of these I don't even believe I have, but the migraines, PTSD, and Autonomic Dysfunction are the ones that I do.  I saw Stanford University for the Migraine and Autonomic Dysfunction diagnosis (also called dysautonomia).  They put me on some medication that didn't work, so I'm back at the drawing board.

 

EDIT:  The following text was added at poster's request:

 

According to my Autonomic Neurologist, my brain fog could be anything from dysregulation of glucose metabolism in the brain, to low NE levels due to NE transporter dysfunction (norepinephrine = NE), to low blood volume to the head due to pooling in the limbs.

Adrenergic drugs have seemed to help me the most (Adderall, Pseudoephedrine (for Sinus), Ritalin, coffee, Tenex). Also, prednisone cured the fog. I am not sure if this is because of its antiinflammatory actions, it raising cortisol, or just giving energy in general.

One thing I do know for sure though, is that when I get chronically burnt out, the brain fog gets much worse. I can't even have sex or masturbate because after ejaculation I end up into even deeper zombie/brain fog land. I feel like it blows a fuse in my head. I can no longer take stimulants because of this, because they no longer increase cognition but just increase burnout where the fog gets much, much worse.

Edited by niner, 12 July 2015 - 06:02 PM.

[brainfogboy]

I've also been toying with the idea (although I hate to admit it) that the brain is protecting itself from previous stress.  Almost like it's shutting itself down and not feeling anything, disconnecting from itself, not letting anything in, etc. Perhaps this is to stop the flashbacks from coming through?  I have doubted this for a long time, but I have noticed that when my emotions inevitably do 'break through' after weeks/months of having nothing, I have crying spells or nervous breakdowns, and I come completely out of the fog.  This usually lasts for 15 minutes or so and then I am back to the fog without any feeling.

 

Is it possible we are shielding ourselves from previous trauma?  It sounds stupid, but there are times when I really have to question everything.  I have been to Stanford, Mayo Clinic, had dozens of tests done and seen even more doctors (Neurologists, Virologists, Toxicologists, Gastroenterologiest... etc. etc.) and nothing has come up, except for the Autonomic Dysfunction.

 

My Autonomic Neurologist, however, also told me that long term, unrelenting PTSD symptoms and chronic stress, can cause and exascerbate Autonomic Dysfunction.  So I guess in other words my Autonomic Dysfunction might be secondary to 5 years of constant, neverending, stress.

 

But then again, I too can take 800mg of Ibuprofen Liquid Gels and feel like there is absolutely nothing wrong with me inside of 20 minutes.  So what or why is causing the inflammation and why is this having such a big impact on our brains?

Edited by brainfogboy, 12 July 2015 - 02:19 AM.

[Dichotohmy]

I am living with the exact same symptoms as you, and our height and weight match as well.

 

...

 

Half of these I don't even believe I have, but the migraines, PTSD, and Autonomic Dysfunction are the ones that I do.  I saw Stanford University for the Migraine and Autonomic Dysfunction diagnosis (also called dysautonomia).  They put me on some medication that didn't work, so I'm back at the drawing board.

 

You mentioned you're a veteran as well. I didn't catch PTSD from Afghanistan, but I think the anti-biotics we took as a malaria prophylaxis messed by gut up badly at the time. I was eating almost nothing but dried fruit, jerky, and MRE food for the entire duration which didn't help. Its probably impossible to say how big of a lead this is, but the seborrheic dermatitis I first developed at the time is something I see in the mirror everyday.

 

Diagnoses aren't worth anything if the treatment for them doesn't help. I have little doubt I could be diagnosed with C-PTSD from my upbringing (pre-military), but have no desire to do so because the treatment (mindfulness, CBT, psychiatric meds) do nothing for me.

 

 

I've also been toying with the idea (although I hate to admit it) that the brain is protecting itself from previous stress.  Almost like it's shutting itself down and not feeling anything, disconnecting from itself, not letting anything in, etc. Perhaps this is to stop the flashbacks from coming through?  I have doubted this for a long time, but I have noticed that when my emotions inevitably do 'break through' after weeks/months of having nothing, I have crying spells or nervous breakdowns, and I come completely out of the fog.  This usually lasts for 15 minutes or so and then I am back to the fog without any feeling.

 

Is it possible we are shielding ourselves from previous trauma?  It sounds stupid, but there are times when I really have to question everything.  I have been to Stanford, Mayo Clinic, had dozens of tests done and seen even more doctors (Neurologists, Virologists, Toxicologists, Gastroenterologiest... etc. etc.) and nothing has come up, except for the Autonomic Dysfunction.

 

I've never had flashbacks and can't relate to painful memories. The memories of bad stuff that happened to me used to trouble me, but once I reached adulthood, register with the same gravity as what Kim K. is up to. My opinion of the psychological notion of subconscious pain result in somatization is incredulous at best, and contemptuous at worst because this idea has stigmatized countless people over the years and prevented proper medical care (the old label of hysterical, the new label of conversion disorder). I've tried the psychological route and as such, have a very low opinion of the discipline - sorry, psychologists.

 

My emotions have only really "broken through" as you describe a few times in the last 15 years, and every one of those times I was extremely intoxicated on alcohol. I'm one of those lucky few people that get alcohol-related psychosis at near blackout drinking, and I blame the experience of the psychotic thoughts and crying spells, which I only get with extreme drinking, on the alcohol. I just can't comprehend the idea of shielding oneself from trauma, when in my case, I just can't identify any trauma that is unreconciled.  

 

 

 

My Autonomic Neurologist, however, also told me that long term, unrelenting PTSD symptoms and chronic stress, can cause and exascerbate Autonomic Dysfunction.  So I guess in other words my Autonomic Dysfunction might be secondary to 5 years of constant, neverending, stress.

 

It's pretty well known that PTSD can cause epigenetic changes, so much so that the children of PTSD-afflicted parents are born with PTSD themselves. If norepinephrine and cortisol are dumped during a traumatic experience, so much so that it gets into your DNA, and hormonal expression is changed in PTSD (which it is), this will cause important physical effects because cortisol and NE (just to name two) play an important role in physiology. I don't understand why people don't focus on objective, scientific explanations like these to explain so-called mental-illness rather than silly Freudian ideas. 

 

 

 

But then again, I too can take 800mg of Ibuprofen Liquid Gels and feel like there is absolutely nothing wrong with me inside of 20 minutes.  So what or why is causing the inflammation and why is this having such a big impact on our brains?

 

Ibuprofen is far from a cure for me, but it is the most helpful anti-inflammatory I've found. To be honest, I'm not even really interested in the "why" behind my inflammatory issues and other problems anymore, but interested in a treatment that actually works.

Edited by Dichotohmy, 12 July 2015 - 04:58 AM.

[brainfogboy]

Had to edit my post because it was so long I couldn't understand it, and don't even remember writing it.  I agree with everything you said 100%.  Sometimes I doubt myself and my sanity and start looking for psychosomatic answers, which deep-down I do not believe exist.

 

I'm going to begin the long, hard journey of starting from scratch.  My parents have pretty good insurance so I'm covered until 30 because I'm a veteran.  Maybe I can come up with something for the both of us.  If there is something you want tested for, let me know and I'll see if I can get it done.  After re-reading your first several posts, it's clear to me that we are suffering from the same thing (the most accurate post describing my symptoms to the letter, unbelievably accurate).

 

 

Here's what I currently have had done:

 

Normal results:

MRI

MRV

MRA

CT Scan (several)

Lumbar puncture

Basic blood work

Thyroid and Hormone panel

EGD

Colonoscopy

Barium Swallow Studies

Pillcam

 

 

Abnormal results:

Tilt Table Test (blood pressure stable, pule rate increased 40bpm, from 60 to 100, diagnosing Hyperadrenergic POTS)

Autonomic Sweat Test (sweating did not stop, indicating increased sympathetic response)

Elevated Red Cell count (slightly above normal, on multiple occasions)

Slightly elevated Liver Enzymes (slightly above normal, on multiple occasions)

Slightly elevated C02 (slightly above normal)

Gastric Emptying Test (4 tests total - two said I had normal emptying, 2 said I had significantly delayed emptying, indicating variability due to present autonomic state)

Glucose Tolerance Test (to diagnose Reactive Hypoglycemia - I get dangerously low blood sugar several times a week - low 40s)

 

 

 

**I'll add more as I figure out what else I've done.  I'm going to start making a binder of all my medical records.  Maybe it's time to refill my Adderall script and start hammering this out again.

 

Edited by brainfogboy, 12 July 2015 - 08:16 AM.

[brainfogboy]

Why can't I edit my post more than once? wtf

 

I was thinking of one last thing.  There is a place in Colorado called "CereScan" that does a SPECT scan of the brain.  The clinician said that they can test to see blood flow to different areas, as well as if there has been toxic exposure/damage due to mold, virii, etc. (the Doctor that runs it has used brain scans in court to prove cases of toxic exposure).  The downside is that after 8 CT scans I'm afraid of any more radiation, especially to my brain, but at this point I'm pretty much in hell as it is so why the fuck not?

 

Let me know what you think about SPECT and if that is something worth a try.

 

[niner]

Why can't I edit my post more than once? wtf

 

There's a time limit on edits in order to prevent people from "changing history".  Sorry, it's not my doing.  The normal way to get around the edit problem is to just add a second post referencing the first.  I added the text you requested to post # 50, because I want this thread to be readable.  This thread is important because of the high quality diagnostic work that you've had done.  The fact that both of you guys get relief from ibuprofen strikes me as a major clue possibly implicating an inflammatory pathway, although exactly what's happening is beyond me.  I think there are a lot of people here who might find this thread illuminating.

[teacult]

The only common problem of the folks on this forum is that they think they have a problem which is causing them to underperform or underachieve.  Just an observation ?!?

Edited by teacult, 12 July 2015 - 07:26 PM.

[brainfogboy]

Just got back from the GI specialist (I doctor shop for GIs because most suck).  This was the first one that had an interest in a 'brain-gut' connection.  She told me that the enteric nervous system (gut) and central nervous system (brain and spinal cord) are linked.  Things like gut bacteria and infections have influence over the enteric nervous system, which in turn has input into the CNS.  Apparently it's a two-way street.  She said, however, that there doesn't have to be any infection for an imbalance in the enteric nervous system to take place.  Chron's disease, IBS, and other intestinal/gut disorders can affect the enteric nervous system in ways that also affect the CNS.

 

One thing she mentioned is boosting serotonin levels.  I told her I firmly believe I am not depressed, and disgusted by the way these doctors are pushing antidepressants at each interaction I have with them, and would like to stay off of any mind-altering drugs if I can help it.  She said that it is possible to train the enteric nervous system to 'calm down' so to speak with serotonin based drugs, and thereby decreasing CNS burnout (which she believes is causing the fog).  She told me my tired and wired feeling is most likely due to being physically awake, but mentally fatigued, which is burnout due to excessive stress and not enough rest.  I told her my stress in my life is minimal but she said stress can come from things outside your control, like the enteric nervous system, due to whatever factors are causing it to become out of balance.  She continued to talk about motor neurons and voltages, which I was unable to comprehend because I was barely able to stay away during my appointment due to the fog and excessive fatigue.  The only thing I got from it was that it wasn't some far-fetched explanation of what's wrong with me, but rather a researched opinion based on her area of expertise.

 

Anyway, she said she likes to try patients on either Lexapro, Cymbalta, or Effexor.  She said that the extra serotonin helps the gut function normally, which in turn stops rapid and strong signaling to the brain every time I eat something.  The problem is that I've been on multiple serotonin based drugs before and they don't seem to help with the problem.

 

However, I was on Cymbalta in the past.  Cymbalta has an affinity for Serotonin and Norepinephrine in a 1:1 ratio.  3 days on Cymbalta I was feeling much better, and felt like my old self.  Then the headaches became insane, and I had to stop it but I remember the fog being a lot less on this drug.  Given the fact that Adderall, Pseudoephedrine, Tenex, Dexedrine, and Ritalin all affect norepinephrine in the brain, and have all helped me somewhat in the past, perhaps this is a norepinephrine problem.

 

But I should also mention that ejaculation causes brain fog most times, and I have to abstain from all sexual activity.  I feel like I blow a fuse in my head and 'burn out'.  So there are multiple ways to cause the fog, rather than just my gut.  This leads me to, yet again, believe there is something wrong with me other than just my gut.  Still wondering if I should try the Cymbalta (lower dose this time) that she prescribed, because I really don't want to go down the SSRI/SNRI hell again.  I'll report back with progress, if any.

 

-Tyler

[Dichotohmy]

If there is something you want tested for, let me know and I'll see if I can get it done.  After re-reading your first several posts, it's clear to me that we are suffering from the same thing (the most accurate post describing my symptoms to the letter, unbelievably accurate)

 

 

Did you ever get growth hormone and/or IGF-1 tested for? If so, what did it reveal?

 

 

The downside is that after 8 CT scans I'm afraid of any more radiation, especially to my brain, but at this point I'm pretty much in hell as it is so why the fuck not?

 

Let me know what you think about SPECT and if that is something worth a try.

 

As a rule, don't be afraid of anything. The off chance of developing cancer in your golden years from one too many medical procedures is a hell of a better scenario (IMO) than the prospect of a lifetime of this particular brand of ill health. It sounds like your health care options squash mine like a damn bug, so I wouldn't be afraid of trying anything, even though you really shouldn't take too much from my opinion of this, because I only have a passing knowledge of SPECT and don't want to jeopardize your course of treatment.

 

The only common problem of the folks on this forum is that they think they have a problem which is causing them to underperform or underachieve.  Just an observation ?!?

 

Excellent point, the pervasiveness of these problems goes way beyond mere life extension or attaining a "limitless" cognition; but at the same time, the user base here is one of the most knowledgable and intelligent around, so I made this thread and keep it around in case some other sufferer should happen upon the thread through searching.

 

 

However, I was on Cymbalta in the past.  Cymbalta has an affinity for Serotonin and Norepinephrine in a 1:1 ratio.  3 days on Cymbalta I was feeling much better, and felt like my old self.  Then the headaches became insane, and I had to stop it but I remember the fog being a lot less on this drug.  Given the fact that Adderall, Pseudoephedrine, Tenex, Dexedrine, and Ritalin all affect norepinephrine in the brain, and have all helped me somewhat in the past, perhaps this is a norepinephrine problem.

 

-Tyler

 

Good luck, you seem to be able to convey your situation to others well enough to get real tests and consideration, so your brain fog situation isn't hopeless. I've had bad-to-horrible luck with serotonergic and noradrenergic drugs I've tried. Dopaminergics are also an absolute dead-end for me because they only produce positive effects in my 15% days of relatively positive health - and those positive effects are pretty fleeting and every stimulant from caffeine to amphetamines seems to have in me a bias for undesirable peripheral stimulation and robotic-hyperfocus, rather than actually helping normalize ADHD symptoms very much. I'm not even bothering with psychostimulants anymore, beyond caffeine, because its an utter waste of perfectly good medication when I take the pill. Even more insidious, the production I get from taking stimulants is invalidated two-fold by making it that much easier to crash into a PEM-like state. 

 

Post exertional malaise, or something really close to it, is probably my worst problem because I refuse to recognize its inevitability when I'm in the zeal of doing the things I want/need to do. It kicks my ass everytime, yet its something I seemingly want to pretend isn't going to happen 24-48 hours later this time.

Edited by Dichotohmy, 14 July 2015 - 05:05 AM.

[brainfogboy]

Never tested for growth hormone or IGF-1.  I'll bring this up to my primary care during the next visit (sometime next week).

 

Do you mind if I ask you what you do for work, what your living situation is, who you live with, etc.?  Trying to get a feel for your lifestyle, maybe we can find some similarities.  Personally I crashed hard around three years ago and currently live with my parents.  I crashed around a time where multiple things were happening: a trip to Brazil for a month, living in a moldy apartment, a strange bumpy rash all over my body (diagnosed with Molluscum Contagiosum, which I nuked with a razor and H202), and a serious sinus infection.  I have had sinus surgery three times which has not helped my sinuses at all.  I was homeless for a while, wandering the streets confused.  Some days I still can't get out of bed, and family is of little help, so I'm still basically at square one doing this on my own.  I'm incredibly alone, but push people away at the same time (because they annoy me). 

 

Also, do you crash after sexual activity (masturbation and/or intercourse)?  My fog either gets worse, or gets better after ejaculation, usually the former.  I have tried researching everything relating to ejaculation, regarding testosterone, neurotransmitters, etc. but nothing seems to make sense.  I was wondering if perhaps it's a sex hormone type of thing, not related to testosterone.  Things like pregnenolone and DHEA.  Have you tried any of these in the past?  Given the fact that I sometimes feel better after ejaculation, it almost feels to me that I'm releasing and then using something up, and when that thing is used up, I am depleted and crash.  Adrenal fatigue seems to be a likely cause, but treatments don't work.

 

Also, I know what you're talking about with stims.  It feels like it either works (when you're already healthy) or it doesn't.  If I take an Adderall while I'm already feeling like shit, it feels like it does absolutely nothing (or makes me feel worse and more burnt-out).  The only reason I mentioned NE drugs is because these were the only type of drug that produced the slightest bit of success.  Then of course, I use too much and crash/burn.  In fact, I can't take any more than 1 pill at a time, because the usual "take this pill every day" bullshit doesn't work.  Who the hell can take amphetamines every day on a schedule?  It's every other day, at best.  Cymbalta felt different, but wasn't a solution due to extreme head pain.

 

Trying my best to keep this concise.  I have read, and re-read, and re-edited this post over 10 times now.  This fog is unreal.

Edited by brainfogboy, 14 July 2015 - 05:56 AM.

[brainfogboy]

Then there's always the option that something happened to us in the service.  Besides your gut problems, is there any possibility this could have been vaccines?  I got the standard treatment:  MMR, Tetanus, etc.  Never had anthrax vaccine, but did have smallpox.

 

I also underwent a period of starvation during a depressive episode I was having.  I was so gung-ho on this paleo-diet bullshit that I nearly starved myself to death because of my delusions on what "healthy" was (extreme low carb and low calorie).  For months I was basically starving myself.  Perhaps we destroyed our guts and we are not absorbing proper nutrients, amino acids, whatever that is needed for brain function?  Motrin and water fucked me as well after extended use in the service.

 

The other thing I want done is a full vitamin/mineral panel.  No doctor wants to do this because they only test for the basics.  Ordering online is too expensive, I'll see what I can do with insurance.  Maybe there's a chronic deficiency we're not aware of.

 

We will get through this, I refuse to live life like this anymore.  I'm so fucking tired of it, and I'm going to find it.  Life is meant to be enjoyed, not suffered through.