7 replies to this topic

[JellyRev]

I have lurked here for a while taking in and modifying stacks. I have tried plenty of supps/nootropics

 

Background: I had cancer rhabdomyosarcoma as a child 18 months-4 years old. radiation, surgery, and 2 years of chemotherapy. This in turn made me the smallest kid in school till late high school where I am now close to average height(5'9). I was estimated to be 6'3 pre-cancer and my brother is 6'3. The cancer was located on the upper inside right thigh.

 In school I was not bullied, had good friends, etc. My grades started to slip in 8th grade due to the fact I felt it was more important to be apathetic then perfectionist, I would tear up when I forgot to do hw and things like that. I did not like that. 

Just finished university, Went through university binge drinking like many others. It was the only way I could meet people, to have quite a few beers or my anxiety would usually take over. I attempted to overcome it and some say is possible by just going out there. So I went out there and pushed myself. I went and met new people, I learned how to pick up girls extremely fast, acted confident, etc. I did all this for a while but the anxiety was still there, it did not solve the problem. 

 

Symptoms: Symptoms(things that deviate from the normal population/odd quirks/disabilities that I have

 

-anxiety

  --around people

  --while focusing on driving

  -- while focusing on being watched

  --while thinking about an important /lifechanging event in the future that involves people

-lack of pleasure

-lack of emotion

-lack of motivation

-hypnagogic hallucinations, usually audio, someitmes visual. combines with sound magnification which instantly cues worst explanation

-sleep paralysis, once every 6 months or so

-lethargy/fatigue, wired but tired. 

-caffeine used as a crutch

-speed reading

-semantic memory sponge

-losing words, usually a noun. I can describe the noun in detail but the block still exist

-Highly senstive to people's non-verbal cues, likely mentally overexaggerate their meaning

-very acute at understanding how people will interact and how to set-up an area that maximizes such interactions 

-Muscle Tension

-mental blocks,converting symbols into ideas(ex. C=consumption)

-stomach/chest pains. moves from place to place

-instant REM sleep, likely not entering stage 4 sleep. 

-a nap in the afternoon or later=groggy for rest of day. 

-on rare hangovers which occur a couple times a year, experience a special hangover where all symptoms dissapear, not intoxicated, usually dissapears around the time after I eat food after 12pm, without eating have been able to extend to 7pm, till I had dinner with people, I instantly went from being the life of the party to quiet in minutes after the first bite of food.   Once I eat I can feel the muscle tension creep back into my muscles with my typical high muscle tension taking over in about 15min. 

-can easily identify personalities with narcissistic/psychopathic/sociopathic tendencies. They give off a feeling, and yet they usually try to befriend me along with manipulate of course. 

-although anxious, can stand up to authority/ask for something much easier than other people. perhaps because I am so used to anxiety.  

-generally live life by what I should be doing, as lack of motivation or pleasure I have little wants of my own. 

-use stims as a wall between others to reduce anxiety: video game, beer in hand, smoke in hand, also reduces anxiety/pain while driving

-massive one month weight gains of excess of 15+ lbs

usually in month in winter. lowest weight in nov highest in febuary

-high fluid intake, possibly a stim behavior

 

Supplements: I have taken a lot, I will note the noticeable ones though, most others no effect or improper dosage. 

 

positive effects: General all around better: Alpha-GPC(600-900mg), Taurine(1-3 grams) B-right complex, ALCAR(500mgs).      Sleep: Glycine(1-2g).     Awake: adrafinil(300-600mg)

 

Negative effects: Uneasy, uncomfortable: L-tryrosine/NALT(300-600mgs).  General effects: 1.5g+ Fish oil, Sam-e

 

Any thoughts on what direction to go? 

 

[Introspecta]

Sounds like you have excessive glutamate or dopamine. This is a shitty internet educated guess based on how Tyrosine effects you and the audio hallucinations.

 

Have you ever talked to a professional?

 

Have you ever tried 5htp? If say hypothetically there was an imbalance with dopamine 5htp could produce good effects.This is really just a guess and unless someone is highly qualified I would take their suggestions lightly.

 

The best thing to do usually is to take no supplements other than herbs and food supplements and work on yourself through behavior and meditation. Watching thoughts taking control of mind. It always seems like we want to fix ourselves. I have social anxiety and am an addict/alcoholic. Some supplements benefit me but in the end getting and being super healthy with diet and exercise seems like the only True cure. All supplements will most likely lose effect. Occasionally you'll see people with life changing supplements but its rare.

 

Is your anxiety that unmangeable where you have to try something? Sometimes just dealing with it and accepting it causes it to go away. I realize many cases are more complicated than simply using your mind but I think many times we are constantly trying to find something and come up short. So in the end we just deal with it.

[JellyRev]

5-htp has little effect. 

Yes, I worked my way through meditation, being conscious and catching all thoughts. I also would put myself on purpose into high anxiety situations as some say to do, sometimes it would get so extreme that that my legs would start shaking, but I would just try to rough it out. 

I have been considering going to a professional. 

 

The problem is worse now because the thrill of going out and doing something is very diminished compared to before. Now its not as worthwhile to suffer through the anxiety as compared to before.   

I usually only get social anxiety or driving anxiety when focusing on the task, I can drive on autopilot all day, but when I try to focus on driving I become anxious. 

 

I go back and forth looking for ways to modulate glutamate, dopamine, and norepinephrine. I am still searching for the mechanism that occurs when I get those special hangovers, and the mechanism where eating reverts my neurochemistry back in minutes to my baseline. I have had this feeling go to 7pm the next day bc I skipped breakfast and lunch. talkative, tension free, anxiety free. I got to watch myself fade away at a birthday party as I went from the talkative, life of the party to the high muscle tension, anxious person within minutes after eating the first piece of bread.  

Also concerning hangovers I can eliminate them with Alpha GPC, Taurine, and excedrin. 

 

I have also been pondering the idea if chemotherapy has had permanent effects on the brain. The literature is starting to come out on long term effects of chemotherapy on mental health. 

 

 

Edited by JellyRev, 22 September 2014 - 01:40 AM.

[Goodenough]

Sarcosine for hallucinations and lack of drive. Perhaps CILTEP to potentiate your stims as you probably need them right now to function. Try using stimulants as a way to drag yourself into gym as setting fitness goals is an excellent way to reduce drinking, address weight gain and improve sense of well-being.

[JellyRev]

I work construction and usually make into the gym if I have extended time off. It just so happens that if I do not hit the gym in the winter I get massive 1 month weight gains. I've done consistent months of 4-5 days a week at the gym, I have done P90x, Insanity etc. I have done juice fasting. I do have an occasional problem with sugar crashing after the gym especially if I did not eat an hour or two before, usually after leg workouts. get real tired, look tired and sometimes go to bed during those rare days. I tried a lot of other things before I started going into vitamins which then lead me to other supps and nootropics. 

I will look into sarcosine and CILTEP. thanks for the suggestions.  

[JellyRev]

I have taken sacrosine. at doses 1-2g not a real effect. alpha GPC and taurine do all the work. at doses around 4g+ sarcosine is amazing. It feels like it puts me back into my body. as if I was in observer mode the whole time. The problem is the half life on sacrosine is short 1-2 hours for effect
my sacrosine intake seems not to have side effects and now with d-phenylalanine which has diminished psychogenic pain due to anxiety/racing future thoughts. 

 

What other supplements would be suggested for this effect?

Edited by JellyRev, 10 October 2014 - 10:59 PM.

[Flex]

I recently looked into Glucocorticoids and Mineralocorticoids for my self and this could be related to those ones.

Ok honestly.. everytime when I have a thesis, I tend to assume this for others..

But nevertheless You can prove this relative easily via looking for a certain compound which blocks GR, MR or both.

Then you could at least then probably odd it out.

 

I got this assumption because some of my Symptoms seem to be similair to Yours:

- Blank mind + flucuating attention and sometimes bad memory

- Sometimes decreased Emotions

- Sometimes increased and decreased anxiety

 

So its just a suggestion to look into.

One problem is, given that my assumption is right, I dont know exactly which symptom reffers to which receptor i.e. GR or MR

and actually blocking the one could increase e.g. the loss of emotions.

So its tricky.

 

An inhibitor of both is Dan Shen aka Salvia miltiorrhiza (But not sure about the potency) 

And "seemingly" an activator of both would be Liquorice through degradation inhibition.

Seemingly, because the negative feedback could in turn decrease the release !?

- Phosphatidylserine inhibits cortisol.

- Gotu Kola inhibits at least corticosterone

 

Gotu Kola and Dan Shen are weak and average dopamine releasers respectively, so they could flaw the result.

And PS and especially DS are bloodthinners !

so be careful and dont mix them with e.g. Aspirine or anything else without a break of a few days

 

Anyway here are some links with informations:

http://www.longecity...e-2#entry692366

http://www.longecity...227#entry690227

 

Best Wishes

Edited by Flex, 11 October 2014 - 02:06 AM.

[JellyRev]

Just got Gotu Kola last night. 

have phosphatidylserine. 

 

will give them a look. 

 

I am also looking at modulation of the nmda receptor