49 replies to this topic

[PeaceAndProsperity]

Since very little I have been exposed to many violent events that occurred daily. I do not regard these events as traumatic anymore though I am sure that in my childhood I would've said differently. 

After talking to a psychologist (which helped nothing at all), she suggested the obvious thing women suggest in such cases which is that the emotional "trauma" that I've experienced has blunted my emotions. She also suggested that I have a difficulty with trusting other people and women *emoticon of a ninja* hmm.

 

As of now, I experience the following symptoms:

* I can only "experience" a short range of emotions (though they are not experienced like they even should be).

* I have almost no feeling (though I have a perception) of depth. The world feels 2-dimensional.

* My life's events are slightly foggy; though I can remember, I cannot remember with clarity.

* I can rarely feel my tiredness or pain in general.

* I have a feeling of being somewhat energetic and horny even when I shouldn't be (related to not feeling exhaustion).

* I find it difficult to let go of thoughts and feelings that arise. They appear to be "stuck," especially sexual ones.

* So-called "grandiose thoughts" at times.

* So-called "incoherent thinking" (very mild).

* "Feels" like there's a plexiglass surrounding me (symptom of derealization)

 

I have tried the following:

* Every purchasable vitamin and amino acid in high doses, even SAM-e (currently taking it).

* Almost every necessary mineral in high doses.

* Dopamine agonists in high concentrations (phenylpiracetam, caffeine, tyrosine, etc.).

* Risperidone (d2/d3 antagonist; serotonin agonist) in very high (6mg) oral doses for many months.

* "Just letting go of my so-called emotional baggage," showing contempt for those who have wronged me, whining "poor, oh poor me, why me!" to get emotions to return.

Nothing of that cured my condition, some of it did provide a slight relief though.

Sometimes, if I experience something which would induce very horrible feelings in most people, my emotions return for a short period (an hour to a day) which stops all the symptoms I've described above.
When the returning of my emotions goes away, I find myself in the same numbed state as before though this time I am even more numbed than before and find it even more challenging to get out of the state--I am in this state 24/7 and have been so for at least 10 years.

When my emotions return, I feel the things to be expected: loneliness, abandonment, depression, etc., and experience difficulty in doing daily tasks.

 

Risperidone seems to make me psychotic (hallucinate, have fantasy-like feelings, unable to walk, talk, etc.), not provide relief in anyway whatsoever. Clearly there's no issue with overactivity of d2/d3 in me.

 

My main point:

The obvious thought is that I experience "derealization" with some few possibly psychotic symptoms.

Is it likely that I am overproducing endorphins as a "self-defense mechanism"? What drugs are there to take besides prescription ones to antagonize opioid receptors and fix this horrible state of existence? 

 

I find it difficult to organize my post properly. There's too damn much information for me to provide and I don't know how to provide it in a non-random sequence.

(8th attempt to post. Keeps saying "You are not allowed to post links")

[Duchykins]

"she suggested the obvious thing women suggest in such cases which is that the emotional "trauma" that I've experienced has blunted my emotions"

 

Wow.  Just wow.

 

Anyway it is pretty much a given in the whole field that personality disorders are primarily caused by childhood experiences, not a single incident but repeated and systemic issues for significant periods of time up until the teen years.  There is no cure for personality disorders, nor any meds to treat PDs directly.  There are the usual meds to mitigate outlying symptoms like depression, anxiety, anger/aggression.

 

I suggest you find a male doctor.  Then when you start getting similar responses from him, perhaps you can start to learn more about yourself, accept certain things about yourself that you are in denial of now, which would finally enable you to start doing something productive about it.

[PeaceAndProsperity]

"There is no cure for personality disorders, nor any meds to treat PDs directly." (Sorry, forum-quoting doesn't work for some reason).

 

It follows logically and inescapably that if our identity (what personality means) is but the product of chemicals then the changing of those chemicals will result in identity (personality) changes. This is simply a deductive step and in virtue of being a deductive step and the premises true, it is necessarily true.

I personally do not believe this simple-minded, philosophically-naive position but if we take it seriously then we should also take seriously that all personality disorders are treatable if we look past our supposedly limited capacity to change the brain's structure.

Although it is obvious that at least I am not just a bunch of chemicals--I exist--I don't doubt that there is a mechanism in the brain to blunt emotions and the targeting of this mechanism can result in the reverse - at least on the mind-body, dualism-interactionism philosophical position.

Why does Sct. John's Wort sometimes make my feelings return, and also SAM-e, but other times not? Do SJW and SAM-e effect the opioid receptors or GABA receptors? (I have looked this up myself with no reason to believe that they do).

Purely speculatively, what receptors could cause a blunting of emotions? Note in the OP where I clarify my having used dopamine agonists and antagonists, as well as serotonergics with little efficacy in most cases.

Edited by RatherBeUnknown, 10 July 2015 - 04:28 PM.

[Duchykins]

 

I personally do not believe this simple-minded, philosophically-naive position 

 

I will be unfollowing topic after I post this.

 

Once someone has dug their heels in and makes it apparent their position is immovable due to personal belief, personal aversion, or personal bias, I tend to check out.  

 

You're not going to fix yourself going down the path you're taking with this bullheaded nonsense.  Good luck wasting money and effort on various substances and continuing to suffer your illness, if not making it worse.  Good luck wasting your time; the time that is your life.  

 

My time is more valuable to me.

 

Additionally, I am personally averse to enabling a course of action that I believe could easily do more harm than good, especially when there is a more acceptable alternative available.  In this case, that would be sitting here and making a list of substances that affect the relevant systems.  I say and do this kind of thing all the time around boards like these and I'm not about to change now.

 

 

 

"Why does Sct. John's Wort sometimes make my feelings return, and also SAM-e, but other times not?" 

 

You are not taking placebo effect into account.  Almost no one does.  Don't even bother trying to say you know it wasn't placebo since there's no way any of us could know under those test conditions.  You will just look even more irrational than you already do.

 

And speaking of placebo, let's take nocebo into account as well.  You believe therapy for this is bullshit; it's less likely to help you simply because of your beliefs about it.

 

 

 

Then there was this little gem:

 

"...my having used dopamine agonists and antagonists, as well as serotonergics with little efficacy in most cases."

 

These results actually support my position more than yours.  Actually, your whole experiment so far tends to make my position a better explanation than yours.  

 

Think about it.

Edited by Duchykins, 10 July 2015 - 05:15 PM.

[PeaceAndProsperity]

First I claim that I do not subscribe to the philosophical position of materialism on the grounds of it lacking explanatory power, and I assume that you do subscribe to the position and because of that I explain that necessarily then it is possible to change people's personalities and to remain rational you have to accept this.
You then claim afterwards that my belief that personal identity (personality) transcends the brain - that materialism is false - is a barrier to your recommending me anything.

Of course it is not a placebo effect! I know how placebos are and I can say with absolute certainty that they are not placebos.
Furthermore, placebos exist on the basis of a person's belief in advance in the efficacy of a drug. I had no such belief prior to taking SJW and I wasn't even taking it for that reason either.

Lastly, I tried therapy believing it would work, however I knew in advance that men are not designed to be easily startled. It's in the mind of women to be emotionally fragile and this is a sexual function which allows women to adapt easily to changing cultures since women need to sexually arouse men and changing cultures may mean that new ways of dressing are required to do that; and emotional fragility is also necessary to detect the small changes that can occur which babies use to communicate their health status, and so on and so forth.

It is simply too simple-minded to assume that the reason a person buys a Hummer (car) is because of having a small penis; and likewise is it too simple-minded to assume that the reason a person is aggressive all the times, apathetic and so on, is due to childhood problems--yet this is what pop.-psychologists like to conclude.

Sure, there are men who cannot look past the little, insignificant things in their lives but at the very least I have this capacity; yet, in spite of this--inspite that it seems silly to me--I still try to awake emotions in me by imagining things like, "poor me," (the typical thoughts many people have about themselves), how I have supposedly been hurt and so on.
Does this work? Sometimes it does, though rarely, and other times it doesn't.

Edited by RatherBeUnknown, 10 July 2015 - 06:49 PM.

[PeaceAndProsperity]

What boggles my mind is: is the blunted emotions seen in schizophrenics induced the same way receptor-wise as the emotional blunting seen with people who have experienced so-called severe trauma?

It is said that childhood neglect and other things can lead to schizophrenia later in life, perhaps this answers my question.

Does anyone have any suggestion - even if it is "just an idea" - as to what receptors might be involved besides dopamine and serotonin in relation to the typical antipsychotic-medication route?

[jaiho]

5ht1a downregulation, and hippocampus atrophy connected to the limbic system. Severe cortisol spike shrinks the hippocampus, which have downstream effects to reward circuitry. A combination of 5HT & Dopamine transmission being reduced.

 

This is why NSI-189 brings back emotions for me. 

 

thats my theory anyway.

[PeaceAndProsperity]

5ht1a downregulation, and hippocampus atrophy connected to the limbic system. Severe cortisol spike shrinks the hippocampus, which have downstream effects to reward circuitry. A combination of 5HT & Dopamine transmission being reduced.

 

This is why NSI-189 brings back emotions for me. 

 

thats my theory anyway.

 

Finally an on-topic comment that contributes to my question!

 

I read your posts in the NSI-189 thread earlier. How long do you experience the continous effect of your emotions returning to last? And have you experienced any tolerance after continous use or any days where no matter how much of the drug you take, it doesn't bring back your emotions?

[VICREP]

jaiho is on the money here.

I was blunted emotionally as well. I also gradually entered a depersonalised state, like being disconnected from reality just the slightest bit.

NSI really helped. NSI and psychedelics. Amazing the progress I have made on these compounds

[PeaceAndProsperity]

jaiho is on the money here.

I was blunted emotionally as well. I also gradually entered a depersonalised state, like being disconnected from reality just the slightest bit.

NSI really helped. NSI and psychedelics. Amazing the progress I have made on these compounds

 

Which psychadelics? Usually, psychadelics (dissociatives) don't help dissociation but worsen it.

Do you believe that the therapeutic effect of the psychadelics you took was due to serotonin receptors?

[jaiho]

Same experience for me. I tried 1 gram of psilocybin mushrooms, and had an incredible experience i hadn't felt for as long as I've had Anhedonia.
The afterglow is equally incredible, depression completely gone for the rest of the day.
I think if we took mushrooms once a week, with nsi 189, it could be a cure.

Another one i use occasionally is LSD, which also obliterates my Anhedonia, but usually not much beyond the day of dosing.

But using these regularly, as well as nsi 189 has increased my quality of life 10 fold.

For consistent effects of NSI 189, it takes time. 22 days before emotions return, but i always run out before i can see how long it lasts. This time i have a supply of 20 grams so I'll see how it goes this time around.

[PeaceAndProsperity]

Same experience for me. I tried 1 gram of psilocybin mushrooms, and had an incredible experience i hadn't felt for as long as I've had Anhedonia.
The afterglow is equally incredible, depression completely gone for the rest of the day.
I think if we took mushrooms once a week, with nsi 189, it could be a cure.

Another one i use occasionally is LSD, which also obliterates my Anhedonia, but usually not much beyond the day of dosing.

But using these regularly, as well as nsi 189 has increased my quality of life 10 fold.

For consistent effects of NSI 189, it takes time. 22 days before emotions return, but i always run out before i can see how long it lasts. This time i have a supply of 20 grams so I'll see how it goes this time around.

I know you're not supposed to ask but could you hint me at where to buy NSI-189, perhaps over a private conversation? Psychadelics I am too scared to try yet.

[PeaceAndProsperity]

Great, so I was suspended for 30 days. This is the reason for the reply being made so long after.

I tried NSI-189 and it SOMETIMES produces SOME effect, but it's certainly not major. The effect is at best minor, and it's not long-lasting for me.

On some days, as some describe too, I get strong feelings, but then they fade away and it's back to the old.

On the first day of taking it I had a headache in the one left side of the head, so I don't think the quality is that bad.

 

I have now taken NSI-189 for 2-3 weeks. I have not experienced any increase in my cognitive abilities to my knowledge.

When my emotions return properly, the very awareness of my emotional states--even if I am fine with being depressed and so on--forces me into the blunted emotions stage again and so the wheel keeps turning round and round.

Edited by RatherBeUnknown, 01 September 2015 - 09:10 AM.

[jaiho]

keep going with NSI beyond 4 weeks. It took a month for me.

Also, augment with an empathogen like psilocybin.

[PeaceAndProsperity]

keep going with NSI beyond 4 weeks. It took a month for me.

Also, augment with an empathogen like psilocybin.

 

I will but I will have to order more of it then, because the batch is almost used up fully.

Sadly the scale I bought only messures in 0.0 grams and up, and not 0.00 grams, so it's not useable in measuing dosages, but the fact that I have used up almost 1 gram after 2-3 weeks says that I must've been doing around the 40mg mark per dosage.

Yes, I know that this is not ideal, but buying a scale isn't easy (the good ones on Amazon don't ship to my place). If you have a suggestion for what scale to buy that can measure very low dosages, then please tel me (I'm not rich but certainly not poor).

 

For how long can I consume it before it's been too long and I need to cycle off it?

 

I am considering trying things like naxolone and/or naltraxone since they have been helpful in people with "derealization"/"depersonalization" to some degree.

I do believe I have an opioid/endorphin overproduction issue because I know that in some cases where my emotions are not blunted but I am in an emotionally vulnerable situation, I can get extremely tired all of a sudden and almost fall asleep, drooling, etc., the same thing people can experience when they are finished talking about emotional things with a psychologist. This is at least superficially the symptom one can expect from endorphin overproduction, right? Or maybe not, because a lack of endorphins causes fatigue. The opioid receptors sure are confusing since both antagonizing and agonizing seem to be able to cause some of the same symptoms.

When I for example finish riding my training bike after a 20 minute ride at a 100-120 beats per minute rate, and I feel a desire to relax or most often sleep, if I do not relax and if I continue to do mentally or physically exhausting tasks then all of my blunted emotions/reduced emotional range/etc symptoms are worsened by a great deal, and I've read that overtiredness/excessive exhaustion increases endorphin production - thus further reinforcing this idea of over-agonized opioid receptors.

 

I also notice that if I masturbate when I wake up or if I masturbate too many times prior to going to bed, that day is completely ruined since all my symptoms are worsened by a great deal, and sexual abstinence for at least 3 days strongly relieves my symptoms. Abstinence for a whole week makes depressed emotions return (which is good).

I believe that masturbating too often may desensitize the opioid receptors/upregulate them too much, and thus this reinforces my point likewise.

 

Have you tried Naltraxone/naxolone? And do you likewise experience that overtiredness/masturbation/too much physical training worsens the blunted emotions by a significant deal? Oh, and could NSI-189 be freezed so long as it's in a dry container. Is it best to freeze it or refrigerate it for storage?

Edited by RatherBeUnknown, 01 September 2015 - 02:33 PM.

[gamesguru]

keep going with NSI beyond 4 weeks. It took a month for me.

Also, augment with an empathogen like psilocybin.

 

oh, dear. glhf!

I would personally approach it like regular anxiety and depression: with tea polyphenols, bacopa, saffron or st. john's, ginkgo or ginseng, kava or ash, magnesium/chromium/lithium, ALA/EPA.  See which symptoms that relieves over 1-2 months, and which symptoms persist.

 

Childhood interpersonal trauma and, in particular, emotional abuse may play a role in the pathogenesis of depersonalization disorder ...

 

In line with the stress-related model of depersonalization, those neurotransmitter systems of relevance to depersonalization are known to play important inhibitory roles in the regulation of the stress response.

[PeaceAndProsperity]

 

keep going with NSI beyond 4 weeks. It took a month for me.

Also, augment with an empathogen like psilocybin.

 

oh, dear. glhf!

 

What do you mean by this, that it's exaggerated, dangerous or a waste of time/money? Please go into detail.

[gamesguru]

He's not specified how often to "augment", so I hope it's rather infrequently.  Chronic desensitization of the serotonin and glutamate^[1] systems (as chronic psilocin induces) will interfere with memory and learning processes, induce emotional lability and disorganized thinking, and could cancel out many behavioral effects of NSI's hippocampal growth. 

Above it was mentioned reduced 5-HT_1A activity contributes to the etiology of depersonalized symptoms, and chronic psilocin further reduces this activity, although its affinity at the 2A receptor is 150% greater^[2] (and so it induces more downregulation here).

And, to be frank, to recommend the combination in the long-term is a bit far-fetched and risky/ridiculous.  I would be very curious of the different interactions and the net result.

GABA is inhibitory; Glutamate is excitatory., Possible MOR, σ-receptor, antihistamine, melatonin etc.

[PeaceAndProsperity]

He's not specified how often to "augment", so I hope it's rather infrequently.  Chronic desensitization of the serotonin and glutamate^[1] systems (as chronic psilocin induces) will interfere with memory and learning processes, induce emotional lability and disorganized thinking, and could cancel out

 

I am not defending him and I've never personally tried the substance myself but I just found this on Wikipedia: "There is virtually no withdrawal syndrome when chronic use of this drug is ceased."

https://en.wikipedia...avioral_effects

 

There is virtually no meaningful definition of "virtual" in the context of "virtually no," so I am not sure if the Wikipedia article says that there are very few withdrawal symptoms or none actual but some potential, or none potential and none actual, bla bla bla, you get the point.

[Hammurabi White]

Great question. What induces the inability to experience emotions after trauma would be lack of stimulation. I say that because let's look at the controlling component- our nervous system. Our nerves are central to physically perceiving everything through our sense organ right? However, emotion seems to be more of an internal dynamic as mentioned in a previous post on Facebook by myself stating: "Consciousness create states of mind, and state of mind create emotional content. How you emotionally feel is what is consciously perceived. To change your emotional position in a sense is to change thoughts as they occur". That brings me to Axon's with it's neuro-transmitting interaction that are the only components that have the ability to connect/forward chemical messages to fire off an action of experience... but stimulation should be present or should I say excitatory (rather than inhibitory) messages to begin achieving the result. But for the traumatic, the inability may stem from being chemically off, or the lack of information subconsciously/consciously perceived via internal stimulus to be produced in the axon.

 

 

 

Reference

 

Self Experience 

[gamesguru]

 no withdrawal syndrome

This is just like saying it has a high LD50/low toxicity, it doesn't mean the drug is harmless to every organ in the long-term: there could be permanent alteration to the synapse structure or neuronal metabolism.  Take psilocin once a month or so, back off if your body at all responds or reacts badly, especially cause you'd be stacking this with other potent stuff, NSI.

 

decreases in cerebral blood flow and blood-oxygen level-dependent fMRI signal were seen, and these were maximal in hub regions, such as the thalamus and anterior and posterior cingulate cortex (ACC and PCC). Decreased activity in the ACC/medial prefrontal cortex (mPFC) was a consistent finding

significant decrease in the positive coupling between the mPFC and PCC. These results strongly imply that the subjective effects of psychedelic drugs are caused by decreased activity and connectivity in the brain's key connector hubs, enabling a state of unconstrained cognition.^[1]

signal decreases were seen in other regions including somatosensory and motor cortices^[2]

 

hard to find long-term psilocin studies, but EOD for 90 days induces long-term (undesirable/catastrophic) changes

 

Chronic administration of lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD) every other day to rats results in a variety of abnormal behaviors. These build over the 90 day course of treatment and can persist at full strength for at least several months after cessation of treatment. The behaviors are consistent with those observed in animal models of schizophrenia and include hyperactivity, reduced sucrose-preference, and decreased social interaction

Functional clustering analysis indicates differentially expressed genes are enriched in pathways involving neurotransmission (Drd2, Gabrb1), synaptic plasticity (Nr2a, Krox20), energy metabolism (Atp5d, Ndufa1) and neuropeptide signaling (Npy, Bdnf), among others. Many processes identified as altered by chronic LSD are also implicated in the pathogenesis of schizophrenia, and genes affected by LSD are enriched with putative schizophrenia genes. Our results provide a relatively comprehensive analysis of mPFC transcriptional regulation in response to chronic LSD, and indicate that the long-term effects of LSD may bear relevance to psychiatric illnesses, including schizophrenia.^[3]

 

decrease in 5-HT_2A signalling^[4]

 

[jaiho]

Psilocybin once every few months or microdose, with nsi, worked best to give me back some emotions.
Ssris are good for eliminating depersonalisation but horrible for feeling emotions

[PeaceAndProsperity]

I have now taken NSI-189 for perhaps little over a full month, every day. So far it doesn't seem to have provided a lasting effect besides perhaps a tiny, tiny effect. On some days it temporarily brings back emotions but this is always a fragile state of the mind to be in (in the sense that it can easily revert from little stress) and it rarely lasts long in of itself.

I would like to try the psychadelic described but I am not fond of hallucinatory experiences, and there is talk of some psychadelics chronically inducing psychosis, which may not be the case for this chemical itself but still.

 

Clomiphene citrate appears to have had a stronger or as-strong-as-NSI-189 effect on my mood on the first day of taking it, which continued onto the next day, but the heart-related side effects are too terrible for me to bear continously taking it unless under a doctor's supervision and guidance (and that's obv. not going to happen).

Any other suggestions than psychadelics and NSI-189?

It seems everything that does work only works sometimes. Sometimes I am in a mental state that I don't seem to be able to get out of unless I get sleep and wait several days. Maybe I have some spooky PTSD (because the thought to me seems childish) where I switch mental states and something-something-trauma-stress.

It seems that tiredness is one thing that puts me in this mental state where no drug that I take can remove me from it (and its symptoms are of course anhedonia and sense disturbances). You'd think that stimulants would aid anything tiredness related but no stimulant I've tried has worked (phenylpiracetam, caffeine, etc.).

[gamesguru]

Posted this yesterday in the 5-HT_1A/PSSD thread:

Cannabidiol blocks long-lasting behavioral consequences of predator threat stress: possible involvement of 5HT1A receptors

Seven days after predator exposure 5-HT_1A mRNA expression was up regulated in the frontal cortex and hippocampus. CBD and paroxetine failed to prevent this effect. No change in BDNF expression was found. In conclusion, predator exposure promotes long-lasting up-regulation of 5-HT_1A receptor gene expression in the hippocampus and frontal cortex. Repeated CBD administration prevents the long-lasting anxiogenic effects observed after predator exposure probably by facilitating 5-HT_1A receptors neurotransmission. Our results suggest that CBD has beneficial potential for PTSD treatment and that 5-HT_1A receptors could be a therapeutic target in this disorder.

Edited by gamesguru, 11 September 2015 - 08:07 PM.

[Area-1255]

First of all OP, Phenyl Piracetam and Caffeine are not considered dopamine agonists..they are considered stimulants.

 

A dopamine agonist would be like Requip (ropinirole) or Bromocriptine - and these are hit or miss in regards to anhedonia. 

It seems you might have stress-triggered semi-psychosis and it also seems that it might be a form of OCD-induced 'simulated stress response'.

So - it could be that only or possibly a persisting personality trait...either of the borderline nature or even a partial antisocial nature?

 

I would try some anti-stress herbs; one's that do not cause lethargy.

 

I would also try a nootropic stack with emphasis on the dopaminergic-striatal pathway and glutamatergic projections.

 

• Nefiracetam (not phenyl piracetam)
• Pregnenolone / DHEA combinations.
• Shilajit and Ashwagandha; daily.

 

Start with that and if needed add in mucuna pruriens extract. (40% L-DOPA or more)

[PeaceAndProsperity]

First of all OP, Phenyl Piracetam and Caffeine are not considered dopamine agonists..they are considered stimulants.

 

A dopamine agonist would be like Requip (ropinirole) or Bromocriptine - and these are hit or miss in regards to anhedonia. 

It seems you might have stress-triggered semi-psychosis and it also seems that it might be a form of OCD-induced 'simulated stress response'.

So - it could be that only or possibly a persisting personality trait...either of the borderline nature or even a partial antisocial nature?

 

I would try some anti-stress herbs; one's that do not cause lethargy.

 

I would also try a nootropic stack with emphasis on the dopaminergic-striatal pathway and glutamatergic projections.

 

• Nefiracetam (not phenyl piracetam)
• Pregnenolone / DHEA combinations.
• Shilajit and Ashwagandha; daily.

 

Start with that and if needed add in mucuna pruriens extract. (40% L-DOPA or more)

I am as secluded as one can be in a major town, so anti-social in the sense of having no partner or friends and living in a secluded appartment - this does appear to be a personality trait with a clear genetic trait since my father and I share some of these things.

Psychosis is an explanation but I've never had problems with understanding the illness of my sense disturbances or the illness of my emotional symptoms. I've had these problems for at least half my life, with worsenings as I've reached into adulthood.

I will try what you suggested.

 

If the problem is just a strong depression, as the most obvious explanation put forward often is, wouldn't a strong euphoriant reverse my symptoms just on the basis of releaving the depression temporarily and also the stress?

[Area-1255]

If the problem is just a strong depression, as the most obvious explanation put forward often is, wouldn't a strong euphoriant reverse my symptoms just on the basis of releaving the depression temporarily and also the stress?

If you are using hardcore stimulants to help get you through; I'm not talking clen or caffeine...but stuff like amphetamine then it may help you short-term, but long term you are just going to worsen the neuronal damage even if previously there is no strict-cellular-integration diminishment. So you are better off rebuilding your brain and body...another idea is 9-methyl-beta-carboline...which has been shown to actually regenerate entire dopamine neuronal networks...not just the receptors but the myelin and synapse constructions in general!

 

 

J Neurochem. 2010 Jun;113(6):1659-75. doi: 10.1111/j.1471-4159.2010.06725.x. Epub 2010 Mar 31.

The exceptional properties of 9-methyl-beta-carboline: stimulation, protection and regeneration of dopaminergic neurons coupled with anti-inflammatory effects.

Polanski W1, Enzensperger C, Reichmann H, Gille G.

Author information

 

Abstract

Beta-carbolines (BCs) are potential endogenous and exogenous neurotoxins that may contribute to the pathogenesis of Parkinson's disease. However, we recently demonstrated protective and stimulatory effects of 9-methyl-BC (9-me-BC) in primary dopaminergic culture. In the present study, treatment with 9-me-BC unmasked a unique tetrad of effects. First, tyrosine hydroxylase (TH) expression was stimulated in pre-existing dopa decarboxylase immunoreactive neurons and several TH-relevant transcription factors (Gata2, Gata3, Creb1, Crebbp) were up-regulated. Neurite outgrowth of TH immunoreactive (THir) neurons was likewise stimulated. The interaction with tyrosine kinases (protein kinase A and C, epidermal growth factor-receptor, fibroblast growth factor-receptor and neural cell adhesion molecule) turned out to be decisive for these observed effects. Second, 9-me-BC protected in acute toxicity models THir neurons against lipopolysaccharide and 2,9-dime-BC(+) toxicity. Third, in a chronic toxicity model when cells were treated with 9-me-BC after chronic rotenone administration, a pronounced regeneration of THir neurons was observed. Fourth, 9-me-BC inhibited the proliferation of microglia induced by toxin treatment and installed an anti-inflammatory environment by decreasing the expression of inflammatory cytokines and receptors. Finally, 9-me-BC lowered the content of alpha-synuclein protein in the cultures. The presented results warrant the exploration of 9-me-BC as a novel potential anti-parkinsonian medication, as 9-me-BC interferes with several known pathogenic factors in Parkinson's disease as outlined above. Further investigations are currently under way.

PMID:   20374418   [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]

[Blackkzeus]

So besides 9-me-BC what else would you suggest to rebuild the brain from this sort of damage?

[PeaceAndProsperity]

I ordered pregnenolone and it arrived and it's the second day of taking it and I can say that it's definitely a nice thing to take because it seems to make me happy and relaxed and clear-headed (only slightly) although my emotions are still blunted (though I bet receptor desensitization will become a problem very quickly).
I also have ordered DHEA today together with lithium as I will try both to see their effects. Hopefully my DHEA order gets through even though it's technically not really legal in the stupid EU (so much for the liberalization and the "opening" of societies!) but my melatonin order from the very same site went through long ago without a problem so I'm guessing it's the same with DHEA.
It's ironic that pregnenolone is illegal in the US while legal in the EU and DHEA illegal in the EU while legal in the US, given that preg. is a precursor to, among others, DHEA.

[Area-1255]

Personality disorders can not be treated with medications - that is true; but mainly because personality is ideology intertwined with unique experiences...therefore unless that person WANTS to change; and truly understands what is within themselves and why they feel the way they do - all will be to no avail.