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COCKROACH INVASION!

roaches cockroaches insecticides vegan organic essential oils healthy alternative funny serious

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#1 sthira

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Posted 07 July 2015 - 07:57 PM


Help, yall. I live in a pod in the sky, and I'm surrounded by other pods occupied by more and more people. Many of the other pod people participate in a monthly insecticide spray-fest here in the sky above the darkening streets. I've opted out because I just really don't want more of that chemical shit to my life than totally necessary.

And so now I'm suffering an invasion. I've got a whole lotta roaches up in here, and they're mostly small roaches, and appear to be of several species. Dirty motherfuckers, even the Dalai Lama hates them. I want them out, but how would you suggest doing that without adding more toxic load to my potentially 1,000-year old body?

I've searched, of course, and landed upon essential oils. Haha... Like cedar and peppermint, and I've no idea what's up. Smells nice, though. The guy at the hippie coop (stoned) suggested Diatomaceous earth. Yall familiar with that? I'm not but I bought a small baggie anyway, and I started sprinkling it around on the floors here in the infested sky pod. And I do admit that I'm not the world's cleanest person -- but I'm mostly raw vegan -- so my messes are like pieces of broccoli and spinach and kale... Which I don't think cockroaches are much into? My weird little cat's food and water may be the point source, though, and I read that roaches can go a month without cat food, but only a short time without cat water?

Ideas?

#2 sthira

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Posted 07 July 2015 - 09:41 PM

Here's what I'm doing, for all ye who give a flying shit about my cockroach invasion. I mixed up some raw cocoa powder with diatomaceous earth, and sprinkled that down into the cracks and holes of my sky dwelling. The roaches (which can live for up to a week without their goddamned heads; which can hold their breath for up to 40 minutes; which can run up to 3 miles an hour; and female cockroaches only mate once yet stay PREGNANT FOR LIFE... ) shall now DIE by attraction to the chocolate. Then the diatomaceous earth particles, which are like glass shards, will get stuck between their amazing exoskeleton joints. As they move -- gaining no respect from me, despite their miraculous qualities -- shall be physically cut up.

Die, little fuckers.
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#3 Antonio2014

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Posted 08 July 2015 - 12:02 AM

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Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: roaches, cockroaches, insecticides, vegan, organic, essential oils, healthy, alternative, funny, serious

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