A Nootropic Experience
The Beginning
"Genius is 99% perspiration, and 1% inspiration"- Edison
I was obsessed. The obsession came from life's experiences that would amount to a book of itself if i allowed it. I remember in my youth watching movies like 'A Beautiful Mind', the Awakenings', 'Flowers of Algernon', 'Good Will Hunting', 'Oxford Murders', to name of a few. This was aside of the documentaries, podcasts, and interviews i would research and listen. I suppose family members calling you "smart", and Academia saying other-wise would start this journey for me. Before the start of Nootropics, Smart Drugs, nutritional health, healthy diet, and a "positive" lifestyle, i would say i was a smart kid, however, who doesn't think that their child is "intelligent"? I had grown into a person who intuitively grew an ego that couldn't be sustained for a long period of time. I had to prove it. My peers who called me smart wasn't good enough anymore, and potentially due to the 'Dunning-Kruger' affect, my peers calling me "smart", led to my angst.
School
School wasn't the greatest to me, nor was I to it. I wont go insofar as to say that "...the school system has failed me and i'm a statistic, so woe is me." I will admit that I did not try hard enough. The ad nauseum of counselors, parents, teachers, telling you that you don't try hard enough would make anyone get sick of even trying to bother. The problem is that certain subjects were difficult for me, such as Mathematics. I loved it, but had a hard time with abstract concepts and how to apply such abstraction to my life. Other subjects in school were either a hit or miss. Many things in school just did not click in my brain. It was stringent growing up with average grades, and whose brothers were college grads and successful. A spark went off years later when i would be bored sitting in front of my computer. I would think of something interesting e.g., Mysql Injections, Daniel Dennet's Philosophy of Biological structures and Darwinism, etc. I realized that i attained better retention than i did in school. I had taken an Wechsler Adult IQ test at the age of 18 around this time, and received a score of 98. The spatial reasoning scored to around 138, and the Logical Mathematical section scored below average. I was infuriated. In short, This led me to research and conclude that the "IQ" test is merely nothing more than a mid-century farce of a concept that holds little to no weight in our modern day culture. A couple issues that may have direct correlation to causation was lacking motivation and Paralysis of Analysis (still an issue today).
Social
Short and sweet. I was outgoing with those who i knew, and for those who i didn't, i was a bit reserved. I noticed i would be more inside of my mind in social places than an extrovert in behavior. This is some-what still the same for me today as opposed to years ago. Only today, i am more comfortable around others naturally.
...
The Fun Part
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."- Romans
The part you have actually been waiting for. My current stack is Whey Protein, MCT oil, Prami, Alcar, Alpha Gpc, Methyl B12, Magnesium, Theanine, Tyrosine, Vitamin D3, with the exclusion of 5-HTP. The highlight of months taking this stack is the following:
- Noticeable patterns in music, enriched environment from music. I first noticed this change when i was at the local drug mart, CVS, and heard a Pop song over head. Usually certain types of music that would depress me, irritate me, etc i would refrain from. Everyone has their quirks when it comes to tastes of music. However, this was a song that i was supposed to not like, and i ended up tapping my foot in sequence to the rhythm as i was looking for a particular vitamin. It was pleasing to listen to. Other art forms of music is the same. This is now a consistency.
-My introspection is deeper. Not sure about this one. In the aforementioned paragraph, i stated that i was a bit of a introvert. Now instead of thinking deeply about a subject and losing focus on a task at hand, it seems to now spill over into action. Case in point- i was at work and at my current machine, i was waiting for the 'stacker' to finish organizing newly made books. I had an instantaneous compulsion to grab a piece of paper, and start writing out Nash Equilibriums. I am not some adept Genius in Mathematics or Economics by a long shot, and yet this urge inspired me to try and fabricate something that i had read a few nights prior pertaining to the subject. This is potentially an inconsistency.
-Interest in life. I am no manic-depressive, psycho-stimulant deprived character by any means, however, sometimes we take for granted the most minute detail in our seemingly busy lives. However, i've noticed that i will seek out in depth how certain functions in life works. This can be attributed to attention of detail. I catch myself being interested in -normally mundane things such as the life of plants, and the intrinsic order of events that takes place in order for this entity to survive and grow. This is not the end of that. The other night i decided to teach myself Trigonometry because i was bored. Learning the concept in Trig was oddly easy. In conjunction, i was watching a video pertaining to a professor speaking about Mathematical concepts in Music. When my girlfriend had asked what i was watching, she rolled her eyes and laughed saying, "never-mind" when i told her. This brought a smile to my face. I failed to mention that over a year ago when i tried to tackle Trigonometry, it was initially too intimidating to keep up with. I'm currently looking into studying Modal logic; see-Modal Ontological Theory. What's this fascination if i'm not a typical mathematical oriented person? This is a consistency.
-A new outlook. Years ago, and currently, i have a Mesomorphic body type that allows me to eat anything and not have to worry about losing my naturally athletic body. Good for me. Prior to my nootropic intake, i would binge eat, drink compulsively from time to time, and generally not care to think of my body. Some time after being on nootropics, the fascination of being healthy had crept into my life. My drinking of alcohol had naturally began to limit itself in my lifestyle without conscious effort. I normally enjoy drinking, and still do, but anymore it is as if it doesn't interest me as it used to. Habit changing much? Another idiosyncrasy that has occurred is that i am becoming more self aware of finding ways to regulate my spending better. I would normally want to compulsively spend money and feel better because of it, whereas now i am looking into budget spending and ways of doing something cheaper to save myself money, time, and effort. This is a consistency.
-Emotional blunder. It is known that Pramiracetam may cause emotional blunting. This is now true for me. It isn't so much of an issue as i can mediate between normal reaction vs opposite reaction. Usually i may be glad to give someone a hug, where as now it is becoming nothing more than a standing affair between two people who have nothing better to do than to waste time. I noticed this about a week ago when my girlfriend gave me a hug and it was purely mechanical for me. Now mind you that this emotional shallowness is creeping into other areas as well. I was standing there giving a hug thinking, "this is a stupid concept of affection". I laughed thinking about this. Other areas that i have noticed this in as well is through typical conversation with other people. I will laugh- i am no robot, but the depth of feeling isn't as 'saturated' in technicolor so to speak anymore. I am not even depressed. So, chalk one up for Pramiracetam. This is a double-edged sword, so i personally have to be mindful to not let the logic way of thinking interfere in my personal relationships. This is a consistency.
Playing around with numbers. I noticed something startling at work. Usually i will have to look at the clock to gauge the time of day like a normal person, or pull out my calculator for multiplying. What do i do now? think to myself wondering what time it is, and have instant feedback in my mind. I will then check the time, and it's literally within two minutes of marginal error almost every time i.e., 7:48. It's very bizarre for me to experience this. I have also a better time doing arithmetic in my mind. Many times i will have a hard time seeing the numbers line up in my mind long enough to solve the answer, but now it seems to be less fuzzy, and more clear. Although it is not as clear as i would like. IQ tests are becoming easier. Allow me to explain. On IQ-test dot DK, many months ago i kept scoring around 85-101. The logic i seen in the puzzles did not change. I did not wish to cheat by looking up how these puzzles are solved either. I do not believe in IQ tests, nor do i believe in online testing except for only one that is affiliated through Mensa. However, i needed a benchmark of some sort. So, i took it twice and noticed something interesting. The way i seen the logic behind certain puzzles had changed. My score topped off at 117. I was floored. I thought it must be in error, so i took it again half-assing it, and it scored 76. So, trying on this test yielded an above average grade. This is truly a first, and exciting. I began to play Dual-n-back, Peak, and listen to monaural beats at 40~hz to stimulate my Alpha brain waves that is correlated to higher thinking according to new studies. This is an inconsistency.
So, there you have it. I have covered the gist of the changes in my life and have taken note of these things. I thought i would share for those who are in enjoyment of reading others experiences in the world of Noots.
