135 replies to this topic

[Quaker32]

hmm http://www.mdedge.co...e-and-glutamate

[Mind_Paralysis]

hmm http://www.mdedge.co...e-and-glutamate

 

Now that's a great link there!

 

Hmm... metabotropic glutamate agonists have potential for the treatment of the negative symptoms of Schizo... but do they then hold potential for DEPERSONALIZATION as well?

 

If that's the case... then you might want to check out Fasoracetam, which upregulates GABA-receptors, while increasing activity at mGlur 2-3 receptors.

 

I would try Lamotrigine first though - because Faso has never been trialled for this, and I'm not quite certain if mGlur 2-3 agonism is really positive here...

 

 

...Can someone else chime in on this? I seem to be getting burnout-brain and can't connect the dots, it would seem.

[Quaker32]

I started taking 150mg sertraline today, and will go up to 200mg quite soon, based on the doctor's recommendations.

 

She also gave me a prescription for 25mg lamotrigine, and once I am on the 200mg sertraline, I can start taking the lamotrigine. Actually I'm not 100per cent sure when I should be starting that, so will confirm with her. I liked her, but she is leaving the service soon. Disappointing. 

 

Damn, I forgot to ask whether she thought an antipsychotic would have been more appropriate than lamictal, but I assume that she would have said something. 

 

I also am pestering the living fuck out of a drug and alcohol service about potentially getting naltrexone. At least the guy from that service seemed like a good fellow. It seems very difficult getting that in the UK and is a controlled drug apparently. I don't know why.

 

 

 

 

 

[Heisok]

Quacker32, my impression is that you have improved some since when you started the thread. Perhaps simply moving forward with possible solutions has given you some things to focus on. Congratulations!

 

Grapefruit is contraindicated for Lamictal. I think it is related to p450 enzyme effects. A common nutrient which some formulas have, Calcium-d-glucarate, has similar effects. If you can, read all about Lamictal from the product insert which might come with it.

 

You might get a warning about Stevens-Johnson syndrome. Although quite dangerous, my guess is that at that low of a starting dose that the Stevens-Johnson syndrome would be a very low risk. (I think the issue arose more with those who were being titrated off of Depakote while titrating up on Lamictal.

 

Others in this thread are more knowledgeable than I, but I mostly wanted to compliment you on your apparant improvements so far.

[Quaker32]

thanks Heisok.

 

I don't feel like things are improving. I didn't post it because of time constraints, but the blank mind if mine, is slowly killing me. By that I mean the lack of chitter chatter, daydreaming, strain to engage in thought etc. I posted a bullet point list earlier in my thread but that have been missed.

 

An old thread on Longevity contained a post about a poor lady suffering from iboga-induced dissociation. Somebody in that thread said they took memantine and very articulately, wrote a bullet point list about what exactly they mean by blank mind. It matched me exactly.

 

Anyway, the difference now s that I DON'T want to DIE. I want to live. I want to make a difference to somebody's life. But I also NEED to get better.  I am also very scared about the future. What happens if the medication stops working one day? Am I F******? Argh! Scary! 

 

It is nice to receive that compliment. What can I do but push on?

 

 

[gamesguru]

The title of this thread sends shiver down my spine.

 

Glutamate is definitely involved in what you're describing, the sort of apathy and blankness of mind which, by the way, will only likely be made worse by antipsychotics (this calls on dopamine).

 

You see reduced glutamate in meditating Monks (so they have more effective receptors).  But it's hard to know which way for you to go, I would recommend trying first glutamate inhibitors (turmeric, apigenin), and then releasers (tea), or maybe eventually ligands to AMPA or NMDA.  And just see which ones you respond best to.  Judging by the amount of glutamine in the average person's diet, I would guess inhibitors are the wiser choice.  Although, given the sudden onset of the OP's symptoms, and the lack of consistency of his reports with general brain fog, the glutamate explanation seems less likely to account for the whole.

PLoS One. 2013; 8(3)

Brain Changes in Long-Term Zen Meditators Using Proton Magnetic Resonance Spectroscopy and Diffusion Tensor Imaging: A Controlled Study

Nicolás Fayed,¹Yolanda Lopez del Hoyo,²Eva Andres,³Antoni Serrano-Blanco,^4,¤Juan Bellón,^5,¤Keyla Aguilar,¹Ausias Cebolla,⁶ and Javier Garcia-Campayo^7,*¤

Abstract

Introduction

This work aimed to determine whether ¹H magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), magnetic resonance spectroscopy (MRS), diffusion-weighted imaging (DWI) and diffusion tensor imaging (DTI) are correlated with years of meditation and psychological variables in long-term Zen meditators compared to healthy non-meditator controls.

Materials and Methods

Design. Controlled, cross-sectional study. Sample. Meditators were recruited from a Zen Buddhist monastery. The control group was recruited from hospital staff. Meditators were administered questionnaires on anxiety, depression, cognitive impairment and mindfulness. ¹H-MRS (1.5 T) of the brain was carried out by exploring four areas: both thalami, both hippocampi, the posterior superior parietal lobule (PSPL) and posterior cingulate gyrus. Predefined areas of the brain were measured for diffusivity (ADC) and fractional anisotropy (FA) by MR-DTI.

Results

Myo-inositol (mI) was increased in the posterior cingulate gyrus and Glutamate (Glu), N-acetyl-aspartate (NAA) and N-acetyl-aspartate/Creatine (NAA/Cr) was reduced in the left thalamus in meditators. We found a significant positive correlation between mI in the posterior cingulate and years of meditation (r = 0.518; p = .019). We also found significant negative correlations between Glu (r = −0.452; p = .045), NAA (r = −0.617; p = .003) and NAA/Cr (r = −0.448; P = .047) in the left thalamus and years of meditation. Meditators showed a lower Apparent Diffusion Coefficient (ADC) in the left posterior parietal white matter than did controls, and the ADC was negatively correlated with years of meditation (r = −0.4850, p = .0066).

Conclusions

The results are consistent with the view that mI, Glu and NAA are the most important altered metabolites. This study provides evidence of subtle abnormalities in neuronal function in regions of the white matter in meditators.

[Quaker32]

It gives me the chills too.

I am worried about glutamate excitotoxicity after reading another thread. 

[gamesguru]

Right now, you're probably not making enough glutamate.  Restoring normal glutamate levels will surprisingly do a lot (though NMDA) to promote plasticity and heal you up.  You can accomplish this by shuffling stuff like turmeric (glutamate release inhibitor), green tea (release promoter), and manganese (promoter of turnover.. e.g. manganese-deficient rats are more prone to epileptic seizures).

 

Other approaches are to stimulate N/B/GDNF, activity of metabolic pathways (PKC, Akt, PI3K, cAMP, ATPase, TCA/CREB, glycolysis, gluconeogenesis, fatty acid metabolism), or to make a shift toward general immune-promoting, anti-inflammatory anti-oxidant foods.  Consider monitoring your glutamine intake.  A bit of lithium (even from mineral water) affects the mGluR5.

 

You can find several other (uncommon) herbs active on NMDA in the first study.  Several species of radix are mentioned, they block a key enzyme and glutamate synthesis entirely.

 

Current Evidence of Chinese Herbal Constituents with Effects on NMDA Receptor Blockade
https://www.ncbi.nlm...les/PMC3817734/

 

The flavonoid baicalein promotes NMDA receptor-dependent long-term potentiation and enhances memory
https://www.ncbi.nlm...les/PMC3058168/

 

Another excerpt:

Aqueous extracts of Scutellaria baicalensis, Stephania tetrandra, and Salvia miltiorrhiza blocked currents induced by NMDA (200 microM, 10 microM glycine, 0 Mg2+) at a holding potential of -80 mV by 83.45+/-4.34, 38.65+/-7.50, and 52.97+/-1.78%, respectively. The Uncaria rhynchophylla extract blocked NMDA-evoked currents by 54.98+/-8.61% even at +60 mV and reduced NMDA-induced neuronal death by 59.13+/-3.52%. NMDAR antagonist activity may underlie the neuroprotective effects of this TCM.

[AnonymousLC]

Hey man,

 

I hope all is well, and am sending my best wishes. I just took some time to sign up, to comment on this thread because it's always been a pretty relevant topic in my life, and a pretty consistent battle I've dealt with. Without boring this thread with details, I've been suffering from a very similar condition myself for the past 7 or 8 years now. It took root following the death of my mother growing up a couple days before I turned 13. The "foggy" feeling and dissociation from genuine, wholesome thoughts and emotions that were my own definitely lingered in my mind. Some time later, the adolescent stress from neglect from the family, fitting into social circles, dropping out school, and experimenting with drugs took this peculiar feeling into a pretty substantial issue. I combatted the feeling, slipping into clarity or losing a lot of time in the vague fugue-like states, losing attachment to the person I thought I used to be, and the raw fear and anger about why how even my own personality or humanity, self or sanity seemed to be slipping through my own fingers. This is almost always accompanied by severe depression, and anxiety, which very often leads to coping mechanisms like addiction, or self-destruction (which by the sounds of it, you and I both had shared). Counseling, or powerful willpower, and drive to suck the vitality of life out of my experiences, led to the healing of some traumas, and letting go of problem memories. Things got better, and got worse and went in cycles. Eventually, everything came to a head when I was forced to move to an extremely rural area of the country, and moved into an unfinished apartment in the woods, without windows, a door, stairs, or running water. I was isolated for up to 3 or 4 days at a time. And I went through what you're experiencing. The utter fear, and anger and shock at pretty much psychosis. At times when stress peaked would hear voices, or sounds that weren't real, or would experience mild hallucinations. It still makes my fingers tremble typing this out, and perhaps will for the rest of my life. Years or months would go by in vague, fugue like states. From alcohol, to coke, to MDMA, heroin, DMT, LSD, intoxicated driving, spiritual retreats and meditation training across the country, Taoist energy work, anti depressants, antipsychotics, counseling, dangerous lines of work, sex and relationships, copious exercise, and immersion in music, I tried a lot. Anything that could make me feel alive again, or breathe life into myself, and resurrect the person I thought I should be, or the person I used to be.

 

The conclusion of all this, and the point I'm trying to make to help you or someone else out, is it's normal (to a degree obviously). But you are not the only person to go through this, you were not the first person, you wont be the last person. Any extremely stress-inducing event can trigger this. The thousands of bi-polar sufferers commonly deal with paranoia, hallucinations, thousands of severe addictions result in the same end result when individuals are detoxing, or hitting low points. It is a human condition, and an illness that is shared by hundreds of thousands of individuals, many of whom are extremely bright, creative, and intelligent. Anyone can be pushed past their psychological limits, and break the threshold of what we collectively define as "sanity" in 21st century American culture. You're personality is going through a test right now, and is changing. And it is scary; to push past the familiar and sail your mental ship into some seemingly completely uncharted waters, that you think no one else has been into. There is a reason for why you are feeling like you feel, and its okay. For me it was the stress of losing a parent at 12, raising myself since I was 13, and feeling pretty serious neglect from everyone I knew, and moving to a new place, and feeling vulnerable. Really rough times and events hit humanity, and these feelings DO happen. Although less common in today's relatively safe, and insured world in American cities, families, towns, suburbs, and communities, but throughout history many individuals have lost families, or homes, and have had to deal with unfamiliar mental situations, and they came out okay and prospered.

 

This is an issue of stress and ultimately trauma (at least from my perspective). Speaking from an experience standpoint; this is not a problem centered upon, or curable with supplements or substance. There probably isn't some remote, chemical or substance that you can order that will relieve you, and give you the peace that you are looking for. Counseling, openness, and healthy living are probably your best bet. Address the problems that stress you! What past issues went unresolved? What dreams do you have? Start living for yourself! Put life back in your step. There is no universal law that is binding you to this illness you are feeling. It is okay to feel better, and let go of some addictions, or problems you are harboring. Live your life how you want it, take advice from doctors, and knowledgeable individuals, but you ultimately know what is best for you, and the shape of your life you want. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. As clichéd and regurgitated as this all sounds, adopt a healthy schedule that feels good for you. Who cares what anyone else thinks. Feel good. You may be feeling scared, or vulnerable but you can still feel better. It would help you to ground yourself. Take things slow, and back to the basics, and let go of the stress, and over analyzing of this new perception. Remember childhood memories, of love and safety. Connect to your inner humanity. Take some time to love a family member, and open up to them and lay down your weapons and armor. It's a disgustingly overlooked, and overanalyzed basis of life, to really love and trust people.  Am I the person I was before this happened? No. Is my life a bundle of joy with no worries? No. I still feel that scary, and inhuman piece of my personality in the back of my mind every hour of my life. But I know I can control it. I still feel happy. I still feel joy, and can shape my life into whatever I need or want it to be. And so can you. Today I am sober, and am finding a lot of solace and refuge in clean living (again as clichéd) as it sounds. Prozac helps when I need it, and proper maintenance of stress, and nutrition go a very long way. Find a goal, and cling to it. Keep moving towards something, every step of the way. You keep grinding, and you will be amazed at how far you can go. Obviously I am not a Doctor; so do not interpret my advice and experiences as professional medical expertise. But I hope it can help. I wish you a path to recovery, and know that you will make it, no matter how rough the road gets.

 

[Quaker32]

I am humble that you signed up to post that. Thank you. I have more to reply to you in another post.

 

I just wanted to check in and say that I am feeling weird, still got ringing in my ears, still depersonalised and memory is obliterated. This is just fucking crazy.

 

But....hopefully soon I will be starting the lamotrigine and I am also looking at a private doctor to speed things up. I don't know if there is any point going upto 200mg sertraline. I'm on 150 now. A website I have seen looks promising....

[Quaker32]

Feeling awful 

 

Just had 25mg promethazine to help me sleep tonight.....appointment with psychiatrist on wednesday, let's see what she says.

 

I've found another doc. who is involved in research as well as treating patients clinically, and god willing, this could be the approach and person that I need. After wednesday's appointment, I will make a decision on where to go. What got me excited about this private doctor, is that he has worked with psychosis and addiction, and also has qualifications in neuroscience - potentially making him more open than the doctor's I saw in the hospital (they seemed to me, to have been out of circulation from the academic world for a long time).

 

Not long until xmas now, and I want to get things MOVING ASAP. I've had a LOAD of physical health issues this year, kind of a chronic pain/fibromyalgia thing, and its slowly getting better with acupuncture. I may also be getting another injection in my knee (yes please doctor), which will be great news. So I am improving physically and have two more sessions before xmas....wouldn't it be great to enjoy a xmas day with better physical and mental health. That would be the ultimate fucking present.

 

STILL got BLANK/EMPTY MIND and really struggling to recall. Head feels like cotton wool. I'm getting extremely worried that I have permanently lost my memory and using some breathing to calm myself down in those moments. 

[AnonymousLC]

Don't stress about any memory loss. The human brain and physical function is remarkable at the abuse it can withstand. Keep on trucking, things will get better. You'll come out of this and realize all the time you'd spent overthinking trivial things was a waste. Keep up the med search, and the Doc search. You're just going through an episode man, and like all things; it will pass. Even if it seems like it never will; it will.

One piece of advice would be to focus on one obstacle at a time. Choose one ailment, physical or an environmental stressor that you feel you can tackle. You may get overwhelmed if you try to take on the whole world at once. But its okay! if you feel like you need a rest, its okay to take a break and relax on the things you want.

[oolongmonkey]

Did you find meditation or energy work to help? I induced this condition by raising engery to higher chakra centers(crown) this has been further verified by various energy healers and gurus Ive talked to. 

Hey man,

 

I hope all is well, and am sending my best wishes. I just took some time to sign up, to comment on this thread because it's always been a pretty relevant topic in my life, and a pretty consistent battle I've dealt with. Without boring this thread with details, I've been suffering from a very similar condition myself for the past 7 or 8 years now. It took root following the death of my mother growing up a couple days before I turned 13. The "foggy" feeling and dissociation from genuine, wholesome thoughts and emotions that were my own definitely lingered in my mind. Some time later, the adolescent stress from neglect from the family, fitting into social circles, dropping out school, and experimenting with drugs took this peculiar feeling into a pretty substantial issue. I combatted the feeling, slipping into clarity or losing a lot of time in the vague fugue-like states, losing attachment to the person I thought I used to be, and the raw fear and anger about why how even my own personality or humanity, self or sanity seemed to be slipping through my own fingers. This is almost always accompanied by severe depression, and anxiety, which very often leads to coping mechanisms like addiction, or self-destruction (which by the sounds of it, you and I both had shared). Counseling, or powerful willpower, and drive to suck the vitality of life out of my experiences, led to the healing of some traumas, and letting go of problem memories. Things got better, and got worse and went in cycles. Eventually, everything came to a head when I was forced to move to an extremely rural area of the country, and moved into an unfinished apartment in the woods, without windows, a door, stairs, or running water. I was isolated for up to 3 or 4 days at a time. And I went through what you're experiencing. The utter fear, and anger and shock at pretty much psychosis. At times when stress peaked would hear voices, or sounds that weren't real, or would experience mild hallucinations. It still makes my fingers tremble typing this out, and perhaps will for the rest of my life. Years or months would go by in vague, fugue like states. From alcohol, to coke, to MDMA, heroin, DMT, LSD, intoxicated driving, spiritual retreats and meditation training across the country, Taoist energy work, anti depressants, antipsychotics, counseling, dangerous lines of work, sex and relationships, copious exercise, and immersion in music, I tried a lot. Anything that could make me feel alive again, or breathe life into myself, and resurrect the person I thought I should be, or the person I used to be.

 

The conclusion of all this, and the point I'm trying to make to help you or someone else out, is it's normal (to a degree obviously). But you are not the only person to go through this, you were not the first person, you wont be the last person. Any extremely stress-inducing event can trigger this. The thousands of bi-polar sufferers commonly deal with paranoia, hallucinations, thousands of severe addictions result in the same end result when individuals are detoxing, or hitting low points. It is a human condition, and an illness that is shared by hundreds of thousands of individuals, many of whom are extremely bright, creative, and intelligent. Anyone can be pushed past their psychological limits, and break the threshold of what we collectively define as "sanity" in 21st century American culture. You're personality is going through a test right now, and is changing. And it is scary; to push past the familiar and sail your mental ship into some seemingly completely uncharted waters, that you think no one else has been into. There is a reason for why you are feeling like you feel, and its okay. For me it was the stress of losing a parent at 12, raising myself since I was 13, and feeling pretty serious neglect from everyone I knew, and moving to a new place, and feeling vulnerable. Really rough times and events hit humanity, and these feelings DO happen. Although less common in today's relatively safe, and insured world in American cities, families, towns, suburbs, and communities, but throughout history many individuals have lost families, or homes, and have had to deal with unfamiliar mental situations, and they came out okay and prospered.

 

This is an issue of stress and ultimately trauma (at least from my perspective). Speaking from an experience standpoint; this is not a problem centered upon, or curable with supplements or substance. There probably isn't some remote, chemical or substance that you can order that will relieve you, and give you the peace that you are looking for. Counseling, openness, and healthy living are probably your best bet. Address the problems that stress you! What past issues went unresolved? What dreams do you have? Start living for yourself! Put life back in your step. There is no universal law that is binding you to this illness you are feeling. It is okay to feel better, and let go of some addictions, or problems you are harboring. Live your life how you want it, take advice from doctors, and knowledgeable individuals, but you ultimately know what is best for you, and the shape of your life you want. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. As clichéd and regurgitated as this all sounds, adopt a healthy schedule that feels good for you. Who cares what anyone else thinks. Feel good. You may be feeling scared, or vulnerable but you can still feel better. It would help you to ground yourself. Take things slow, and back to the basics, and let go of the stress, and over analyzing of this new perception. Remember childhood memories, of love and safety. Connect to your inner humanity. Take some time to love a family member, and open up to them and lay down your weapons and armor. It's a disgustingly overlooked, and overanalyzed basis of life, to really love and trust people.  Am I the person I was before this happened? No. Is my life a bundle of joy with no worries? No. I still feel that scary, and inhuman piece of my personality in the back of my mind every hour of my life. But I know I can control it. I still feel happy. I still feel joy, and can shape my life into whatever I need or want it to be. And so can you. Today I am sober, and am finding a lot of solace and refuge in clean living (again as clichéd) as it sounds. Prozac helps when I need it, and proper maintenance of stress, and nutrition go a very long way. Find a goal, and cling to it. Keep moving towards something, every step of the way. You keep grinding, and you will be amazed at how far you can go. Obviously I am not a Doctor; so do not interpret my advice and experiences as professional medical expertise. But I hope it can help. I wish you a path to recovery, and know that you will make it, no matter how rough the road gets.

 

[Quaker32]

It feels like it is going on forever! 

 

The promethazine knocked me out and I haven't done anything today....just sleeping and playing PlayStation. I'm looking forward to tomorrow's appointment and moving forward. This episode has made me realise what I value in myself and my life, what makes me happy, and what I want to full my time doing. 

 

The face distortions have decreased a bit, but still there. I had another "out of body" experience today which isn't very nice. Playing games consoles is the only thing that has distracted me a bit. 

 

The acupuncture seems to be helping my body and I am going again on the weekend. 

[Quaker32]

The psychiatrist told me to go upto 200mg sertraline and start the lamotrigine after that. 

 

I watched porn today which I am not happy about. Helpz needed.

[Mind_Paralysis]

Ask him to shift from Sertraline to Paroxetine - you know it works better, so please tell him that.

 

Hang in there! Soon you'll be getting that sweet, sweet, Lamotrigine... : )

[AnonymousLC]

 

Did you find meditation or energy work to help? I induced this condition by raising engery to higher chakra centers(crown) this has been further verified by various energy healers and gurus Ive talked to. 

Hey man,

 

I hope all is well, and am sending my best wishes. I just took some time to sign up, to comment on this thread because it's always been a pretty relevant topic in my life, and a pretty consistent battle I've dealt with. Without boring this thread with details, I've been suffering from a very similar condition myself for the past 7 or 8 years now. It took root following the death of my mother growing up a couple days before I turned 13. The "foggy" feeling and dissociation from genuine, wholesome thoughts and emotions that were my own definitely lingered in my mind. Some time later, the adolescent stress from neglect from the family, fitting into social circles, dropping out school, and experimenting with drugs took this peculiar feeling into a pretty substantial issue. I combatted the feeling, slipping into clarity or losing a lot of time in the vague fugue-like states, losing attachment to the person I thought I used to be, and the raw fear and anger about why how even my own personality or humanity, self or sanity seemed to be slipping through my own fingers. This is almost always accompanied by severe depression, and anxiety, which very often leads to coping mechanisms like addiction, or self-destruction (which by the sounds of it, you and I both had shared). Counseling, or powerful willpower, and drive to suck the vitality of life out of my experiences, led to the healing of some traumas, and letting go of problem memories. Things got better, and got worse and went in cycles. Eventually, everything came to a head when I was forced to move to an extremely rural area of the country, and moved into an unfinished apartment in the woods, without windows, a door, stairs, or running water. I was isolated for up to 3 or 4 days at a time. And I went through what you're experiencing. The utter fear, and anger and shock at pretty much psychosis. At times when stress peaked would hear voices, or sounds that weren't real, or would experience mild hallucinations. It still makes my fingers tremble typing this out, and perhaps will for the rest of my life. Years or months would go by in vague, fugue like states. From alcohol, to coke, to MDMA, heroin, DMT, LSD, intoxicated driving, spiritual retreats and meditation training across the country, Taoist energy work, anti depressants, antipsychotics, counseling, dangerous lines of work, sex and relationships, copious exercise, and immersion in music, I tried a lot. Anything that could make me feel alive again, or breathe life into myself, and resurrect the person I thought I should be, or the person I used to be.

 

The conclusion of all this, and the point I'm trying to make to help you or someone else out, is it's normal (to a degree obviously). But you are not the only person to go through this, you were not the first person, you wont be the last person. Any extremely stress-inducing event can trigger this. The thousands of bi-polar sufferers commonly deal with paranoia, hallucinations, thousands of severe addictions result in the same end result when individuals are detoxing, or hitting low points. It is a human condition, and an illness that is shared by hundreds of thousands of individuals, many of whom are extremely bright, creative, and intelligent. Anyone can be pushed past their psychological limits, and break the threshold of what we collectively define as "sanity" in 21st century American culture. You're personality is going through a test right now, and is changing. And it is scary; to push past the familiar and sail your mental ship into some seemingly completely uncharted waters, that you think no one else has been into. There is a reason for why you are feeling like you feel, and its okay. For me it was the stress of losing a parent at 12, raising myself since I was 13, and feeling pretty serious neglect from everyone I knew, and moving to a new place, and feeling vulnerable. Really rough times and events hit humanity, and these feelings DO happen. Although less common in today's relatively safe, and insured world in American cities, families, towns, suburbs, and communities, but throughout history many individuals have lost families, or homes, and have had to deal with unfamiliar mental situations, and they came out okay and prospered.

 

This is an issue of stress and ultimately trauma (at least from my perspective). Speaking from an experience standpoint; this is not a problem centered upon, or curable with supplements or substance. There probably isn't some remote, chemical or substance that you can order that will relieve you, and give you the peace that you are looking for. Counseling, openness, and healthy living are probably your best bet. Address the problems that stress you! What past issues went unresolved? What dreams do you have? Start living for yourself! Put life back in your step. There is no universal law that is binding you to this illness you are feeling. It is okay to feel better, and let go of some addictions, or problems you are harboring. Live your life how you want it, take advice from doctors, and knowledgeable individuals, but you ultimately know what is best for you, and the shape of your life you want. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. As clichéd and regurgitated as this all sounds, adopt a healthy schedule that feels good for you. Who cares what anyone else thinks. Feel good. You may be feeling scared, or vulnerable but you can still feel better. It would help you to ground yourself. Take things slow, and back to the basics, and let go of the stress, and over analyzing of this new perception. Remember childhood memories, of love and safety. Connect to your inner humanity. Take some time to love a family member, and open up to them and lay down your weapons and armor. It's a disgustingly overlooked, and overanalyzed basis of life, to really love and trust people.  Am I the person I was before this happened? No. Is my life a bundle of joy with no worries? No. I still feel that scary, and inhuman piece of my personality in the back of my mind every hour of my life. But I know I can control it. I still feel happy. I still feel joy, and can shape my life into whatever I need or want it to be. And so can you. Today I am sober, and am finding a lot of solace and refuge in clean living (again as clichéd) as it sounds. Prozac helps when I need it, and proper maintenance of stress, and nutrition go a very long way. Find a goal, and cling to it. Keep moving towards something, every step of the way. You keep grinding, and you will be amazed at how far you can go. Obviously I am not a Doctor; so do not interpret my advice and experiences as professional medical expertise. But I hope it can help. I wish you a path to recovery, and know that you will make it, no matter how rough the road gets.

 

 

Howdy,

I did find a huge difference. I first stumbled into Taoist energy and Pure Land Buddhism through a family friend who emigrated from China, where she had attended various martial art and healing schools I believe from an extremely early age. I did a 10 day retreat at her house in Colorado a couple years ago after a taste of how I felt, and it was pretty interesting to put it mildly. I chanted 10,000 times a day, and followed a pretty strict diet and lifestyle guide. I was doing the best I've ever done after that. To this day I still don't know whether it was being in a positive, fostering, and and very motivating environment or 10 days with a wonderful role model, or whether her practice indeed took a massive change in my body. I'm a miserably pragmatic guy in life, and don't really have time or inclinations to invest time in nonsense. Anyway I hope my rambling in this post helps you or anyone else with similar questions.

[Quaker32]

I'm starting lamotrigine soon.

 

Not looking good in regards to getting naltrexone or anything else. I'm pretty upset about it and I really can't understand these fuckers. 

 

I emailed some famous professors and one is trying to help me. 

[Quaker32]

It's the following that are killing me: 

 

• Empty/blank mind
• No chitter chatter/internal monologue in my head. I literally cannot "hear" my thoughts
• No daydreaming
• No visulusatlion
• Can't imagine things
• Buzzing sound
• It really is like I have "lost" my mind

If ANYBODY can help with this, I will make sure you are rewarded. The eerie silence in my head is far beyond torture. 

 

It definitely got worse after the Magnesium and the Ibogaine. I have seen other people having the same problem after ibogaine.

 

Perhaps its some bizarre NMDA receptor thing? Or another receptor? I don't know. In addition to taking the 200mg sertraline, I am also taking 25mg lamotrigine. This is my third day of taking it but the dose will probably need to go up. 

 

 

 

 

 

[PeaceAndProsperity]

It's the following that are killing me: 

 

• Empty/blank mind
• No chitter chatter/internal monologue in my head. I literally cannot "hear" my thoughts
• No daydreaming
• No visulusatlion
• Can't imagine things
• Buzzing sound
• It really is like I have "lost" my mind

If ANYBODY can help with this, I will make sure you are rewarded. The eerie silence in my head is far beyond torture. 

 

It definitely got worse after the Magnesium and the Ibogaine. I have seen other people having the same problem after ibogaine.

 

Perhaps its some bizarre NMDA receptor thing? Or another receptor? I don't know. In addition to taking the 200mg sertraline, I am also taking 25mg lamotrigine. This is my third day of taking it but the dose will probably need to go up. 

The first two sound schizophrenic (not saying that you are, not my point). The rest sound like a rare case I've heard of a painter or something who lost his ability to imagine things in his mind (if that's what you mean) and I believe there's a word for this thing but can't recall it.

[Mind_Paralysis]

It's the following that are killing me: 

 

• Empty/blank mind
• No chitter chatter/internal monologue in my head. I literally cannot "hear" my thoughts
• No daydreaming
• No visulusatlion
• Can't imagine things
• Buzzing sound
• It really is like I have "lost" my mind

If ANYBODY can help with this, I will make sure you are rewarded. The eerie silence in my head is far beyond torture. 

 

It definitely got worse after the Magnesium and the Ibogaine. I have seen other people having the same problem after ibogaine.

 

Perhaps its some bizarre NMDA receptor thing? Or another receptor? I don't know. In addition to taking the 200mg sertraline, I am also taking 25mg lamotrigine. This is my third day of taking it but the dose will probably need to go up. 

 

Ask again if you can change your SSRI to Paroxetine - maybe they'll listen this time.

 

Also, please, give the Lamotrigine some time - it's the best shot you have right now, and I don't think you should give up on it too soon.
 

 

I'm currently too tired, but I'll try to give this one more go, to see if there's any similar cases, wherein someone has an unusual variant of depersonalisation.

 

Hang in there, man - you CAN beat this!

[Quaker32]

Yeah, I'm not going to give up on it because what else is there? I hope that I don't react badly to it. I've had some itchiness and swelling but its only been transient and lasted a few minutes.

 

I have heard of other cases like mine but nobody has listed what they found effective which is annoying.

 

I think if lamotrigine is going to work, it will probably be a higher dose but i dunno. 

 

thank you for helping. 

[Quaker32]

" Our previous studies indicate that MgT treatment enhances NMDAR signaling and synaptic plasticity in the hippocampus (Slutsky et al., 2010). Hence, it was expected that MgT treatment might improve the ability to associate the CS with US when the time interval between them was prolonged (Fig. 1E). Other studies show that other brain regions within the PFC, such as PrL-PFC (Gilmartin and Helmstetter, 2010) and/or anterior cingulate cortex (Han et al., 2003), also contribute to trace fear conditioning. Since MgT treatment enhanced NMDAR signaling in the PFC, it might have contributed to the improved ability to process temporal information in MgT-treated rats.

 

Also: "We have shown that an increase in the blockage of NMDARs caused by elevating [Mg2+]o reduces the NMDAR current near resting membrane potentials, which triggers a compensatory upregulation of NR2B-containing NMDARs in the synapse, leading to enhancement of NMDAR current and synaptic plasticity (Slutsky et al., 2004, 2010). In this scenario, the sensitivity of NMDAR current to variations in [Mg2+]o is the key for the magnesium-induced effects."

 

 

Would something like lamotrigine be the right tool?

 

 

From here: http://www.jneurosci...1/42/14871.long

[Mind_Paralysis]

Yeah, I'm not going to give up on it because what else is there? I hope that I don't react badly to it. I've had some itchiness and swelling but its only been transient and lasted a few minutes.

 

I have heard of other cases like mine but nobody has listed what they found effective which is annoying.

 

I think if lamotrigine is going to work, it will probably be a higher dose but i dunno. 

 

thank you for helping. 

 

No prob's man, no prob's.

Btw, if you want to be certain that you don't get the rash from this, then try ordering in some LEVOcetirizine! = ) It's the Levo-enantiomer of regular DL-Cetirizine, which they have identified as the portion which is both STRONGER, and far, far more selective towards the peripheral nervous-system! That means absolutely NO neuropsychiatric side-effects, even at high doses! : D

It's the most selective antihistamine ever devised - it's commonly used very effectively against urticaria, and the rash caused by Lamotrigine seems to be a variant of that.

 

It should clear out any such symptoms in no-time!

[Quaker32]

I'm too scared to take that without asking the Dr first. After what happened the L-Mag T, I am not chancing anything. So far tho, the itchiness really hasn't been a problem. 

[Quaker32]

I think the lamotrigine is exacerbating my DP/DR 

[PeaceAndProsperity]

I think the lamotrigine is exacerbating my DP/DR 

Interesting. This may suggest that your issue is hypoglutamatergic, but this drug's pharmacology is complex so it's not easy to say. 

[Quaker32]

I feel so fucking stupid. Severe cognitive deficits and memory impairments. Jesus.

 

I am trying to email some neuroscientists about Magnesium L-threonate but they aren't replying. I need some pro input about what might have happened and what to do about it. 

 

[PeaceAndProsperity]

I can't remember if I said this already but try pregnenolone

[Quaker32]

What is the rationale behind that? please explain.

 

I need some more expect input here, going to keep trying to find a specialist but its so hard to. Also, nobody has heard of this magnesium l-threonate.

 

There is some evidence, in rodents, that it takes at least a month to have an effect. That kind of makes sense actually - i didn;t notice much at first.

 

The evidences suggests that it up regulates NR2B-containing NMDA receptors. I don't know what the implications of that are, nor how to reverse that if it is indeed a problem, and what effect that has on glutamatergic transmission. That will dictate whether something like lamotrigine is good or bad.