So I've been taking methylfolate since 2015 and its effects have been largely double-edged. It's affected some parts of my life in a very positive manner but worsened others.
Dosing methylfolate is a complex thing. Too much and I get very severe brainfog, depressed mood, worsened anhedonia, irritability and worsened focus. Too little and I don't feel anything. Taking it everyday results in too much. It's not even a matter of the dosage, it builds up in my system and it's like a snowball effect. The dosage only affects how fast too much methylfolate builds up.
To make things even more complicated, I need take vitamin B12 regularly to make sure that methylfolate trapping doesn't occur. I take B12 in the form of methylcobalamin and this too builds up in my system. Once a week dosing improves my mood, focus, energy, and motivation, but taking it everyday results in fatigue, irritability, and just undoes all the benefits of methylfolate.
Anyway, here's what methylfolate does for me:
Benefits
- Greatly improved focus - Sustained attention is a lot easier. I no longer have 1000 thoughts in my head at once. Instead, I can direct my attention to a single thing
- Slightly improved energy - It's a bit easier to get up from bed, but I still sleep for 10-12 hours
Side effects
- No spontaneous actions / Robotic, zombie-like feeling - Everything I do is calculated or based on an objective. Nothing is spontaneous. Basically, I have absolutely no desires whatsoever. Nothing pops into my head. In other words, it makes anticipatory anhedonia very severe, probably 10/10 compared to my baseline 8/10.
- Poor memory and learning ability - My short-term memory has always been good, but since I started taking methylfolate I now have a very poor short-term memory. Even more so is my long-term memory. Methylfolate directly worsens my memory. Despite having good focus, learning new things and concepts is very difficult
- Blunted effect from antidepressants, stimulants, and supplements - It's like methylfolate blocks all the positive effects of substances that once used to relieve me of my anhedonia. Wellbutrin and Rhodiola Rosea no longer have that distinct honeymoon period where laughter comes naturally and feels good. Stimulants no longer give me motivation and what's more is stimulants now worsen my focus and learning ability whereas before they improved both areas
- Probably decreasing my already low appetite - I literally only eat 1 meal a day now. I can't stand eating. Nothing tastes good, everything is blah.
- Brainfog - My ability to conceptualize abstract ideas in my head has disappeared. I can barely think
- Reduced verbal fluency - In addition to the brainfog, my overall vocabulary has decreased. As in, I can only use very basic words to communicate now.
- Stuttering when talking - When engaging in conversations I'll often repeat a word 2 or 3 times
- Reduced motivation
- Slower processing speed - It takes me a while to understand even basic instructions now
- Zero creativity
There are more side effects but I just can't remember them now.
Nowadays, I literally only take methylfolate for the focus and energy it gives me. Every time I try to stop it, my old, 1000 thoughts at a time, self comes back and it's very frustrating because it pretty much disables me. When you have 1000 thoughts at once, sustained attention goes out the window = zero productivity.
I don't know, should I just stop the methylfolate and replace it with daily dexedrine at 5 mg? Dexedrine is such a hit and miss that I rarely take it nowadays. Sometimes it improves my focus and motivation, other times it just makes me depressed and even worsens my focus.