Posted this on reddit and also posting it here as looking for any suggestions for what could help as im desperate right now and cant cope
I'm not making this post for attention or to seek validation for the things that I did in my life. We all make mistakes and I made a hefty ton and I am paying the price massively. For the past two years I have regularly dosed MDMA and some of the times I can be almost sure that what I was being sold was not the pure product. After being made homeless last year and living in a hostel my use went up loads. I was using every couple of weeks, but it would be dosing multiple pills every day for 3 days. I would do this on no sleep or very little. Even when I felt rubbish, I would take MDMA. All changed in August time. Had a range of different terryifying body sensations which I later found out were seizures. My pupils would go massive, I would space out and they have got progressivly worse now. Got prescribed anti epileptics which worked and then was stupid and mixed them with more MDMA and it reversed what the anti epileptics fixed and messed me up even more. For more than 6 months, I have not smoked, took drugs, drank coffee, had any stims. I've kept myself so clean from everything, in a better living situation and attending college and sorting my life out however I'm 18 now and my body fuctions and brain is going crazy every day. I'm on dizapazm to try to control the sezuires as nothing else is working, beta blockers for rapid heart rate. Suffer everyday, having funny turns all the time, it does give me some hope that in in 2 years my brain could of recovered itself but I have given it 6 months. Exercise, stayed clean and tried loads of prescribed drugs to fix problems and nothing is working. I can't live like this anymore and I'm turning to Nootropics as my last resort. Past week, took L-Theanine and nothing has happened postively. Constantly getting flashbacks AS well and depressive memories.
I know that because its drug induced, there has got to be way to fix this, an imbalance in the brain, or a nootropic/stack I can take to recover my brain and stop the seizures completely. If its serotonin related, how would I go about fixing my receptors, if not please help guys. I can't go on like this and seriously debating just departing and offing myself to get out of this pain, emotionally and physically.
Any suggestions on what else I can try?
Edited by droxico, 11 January 2018 - 10:37 PM.