I did a whole life inventory recently and discovered that i am/was most happy when in love. Not just in love to persons (that's obviously the strongest effect), but also to ideas, work, project, groups, etc. Those periods lifted my life long depressive like states (dysthymia?) and made me happy, funny, creative, social, motivated to do things i can't do while depressed, etc. I'm almost like a completely different person, this is probably what normal should be. the only side effects i noticed is being more impulsive, seeking instant gratification, and harder to concentrate at work, and easier to make small mistakes while typing, etc.
now, let me be completely clear, this is not about sex. this is purely about platonic love.
i googled some this AM and came across this helpful description here: http://www.youramazi...sciencelove.htm
the phase of love i'm talking about is called attraction i guess:
Stage 2: Attraction
This is the amazing time when you are truly love-struck and can think of little else. Scientists think that three main neurotransmitters are involved in this stage; adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin.
Adrenaline
The initial stages of falling for someone activates your stress response, increasing your blood levels of adrenalin and cortisol. This has the charming effect that when you unexpectedly bump into your new love, you start to sweat, your heart races and your mouth goes dry.
Dopamine
Helen Fisher asked newly ‘love struck’ couples to have their brains examined and discovered they have high levels of the neurotransmitter dopamine. This chemical stimulates ‘desire and reward’ by triggering an intense rush of pleasure. It has the same effect on the brain as taking cocaine!
Fisher suggests “couples often show the signs of surging dopamine: increased energy, less need for sleep or food, focused attention and exquisite delight in smallest details of this novel relationship” .
Serotonin
And finally, serotonin. One of love's most important chemicals that may explain why when you’re falling in love, your new lover keeps popping into your thoughts.
the part about serotonin is not obvious to me because they later say:
A landmark experiment in Pisa, Italy showed that early love (the attraction phase) really changes the way you think.
Dr Donatella Marazziti, a psychiatrist at the University of Pisa advertised for twenty couples who'd been madly in love for less than six months. She wanted to see if the brain mechanisms that cause you to constantly think about your lover, were related to the brain mechanisms of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.
By analysing blood samples from the lovers, Dr Marazitti discovered that serotonin levels of new lovers were equivalent to the low serotonin levels of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder patients.
Would that love stage mean release of adrenaline and dopamine while low serotonin?
Has anyone try to replicate those effects by meds?
Any other ideas?
BTW, as you probably can guess, i'm in love. A woman whom i briefly dated and cared about very long time ago (we are talking a few decades ago; it was purely platonic, no hugs, no kisses, she was not interested in a relationship at that time) wrote to me for help, and we are exchanging emails (she lives on the other side of the planet), and suddenly I discovered, i'm deeply in love in her again. This rapid, unexpected, and deep feeling made me realize this is exactly the treatment i need every day. not sure how much my significant other needs to know about it. the last time i had such a platonic thingy (but it was more locally), i was accused of cheating (that didn't really happen) and it almost ended up in a divorce.
PS, the article mentions a fascinating experiment:
And finally … how to fall in love
Find a complete stranger.
Reveal to each other intimate details about your lives for half an hour.
Then, stare deeply into each other’s eyes without talking for four minutes.
York psychologist, Professor Arthur Arun, has been studying why people fall in love.
He asked his subjects to carry out the above 3 steps and found that many of his couples felt deeply attracted after the 34 minute experiment. Two of his subjects later got married.
LOL, not being a talkative type myself and not caring about small talk (noise) that's exactly what I would do during my dates early in my life and no wonder that i would explode in love, some of that still alive many decades later! The only thing is some girls were too chatty to fall for that.
Edited by jack black, 08 February 2018 - 04:59 PM.